Back From Next Door

Well that wasn't so bad. I got an ice cream bar and two diet sodas. The neighbor's wife hasn't been feeling well today so she's been in bed. It was just him up alone so it was good I was over this evening.

He got the ice cream bars for his wife but it launches her blood sugar too high and his grandson doesn't like them and he can't stand the little peanut pieces in his teeth. Had soup. I'm running a bit low on soup. Am trying to stick to max one can per day and mix it with frozen dinners.

I feel OK. Not fantastic but not too badly. The (apparent) half-sister had a stroke according to the SIL. She's only 50 but has had all manner of blood pressure and other problems. There's some paralysis but not slurred speech. She and I have not had a relationship. It's just not something I could handle when she found us about 14 years ago. She's a daughter from my father's first marriage. Mother had offered, it seems, to adopt her when his ex-wife died but he felt she was better off with the maternal grandparents and staying across the country. My brother perhaps isn't wrong when he said Father, "blew that situation..."

The SIL also said Mother talked to her about me and why I hadn't pursued relationships. Mother told her I'd need a very special woman to get me to open up. That's not untrue. Folks reading this know I can be a guarded pain in the bum. I see more where that comes from in the protective isolation I had as a kid. I have trouble reading people. However, when I'm comfortable I am a generally easy going guy. I don't like conflict. It isn't that I'll avoid conflict, I just don't want conflict. I'd rather find some manner of compromise or way to minimize potential for conflict such as selling this home, paying the debts of Mother's estate and splitting what's left. I'm not altogether unreasonable. I am going to try being cautious. I will try to listen to my Mother.

I don't know if it would be good for me to be closer in proximity to my brother's family or if we'd be closer by being further apart much as he said he was never closer to Mother than when he lived in another state. I just don't want to be pulled into any dramas. Nor do I want to cause any.

The cat is yowling; I suppose I should get into bed. I hope I rest well.