9-11. Five years on.

Remembering the NYC firefighters lost. One of them also frequented a web board I'd been posting to for a few years when 9-11 happened. I also had a friend that worked at Merrill Lynch but who had stayed home that day due to a sick fiancee. I was quite anxious for his safety until I was able to get in touch that morning.

That was a lousy time. Ten days earlier Mother and I had put one of the cats to sleep. He'd gotten into some tainted water outside which caused a stroke. He would've been 11 that October and had been the last survivor of an abandoned litter born outside my bedroom window. 9-11's events I first heard about from Murray in Sydney. I was chatting online with him when he mentioned it had just been on the news that a plane had hit the WTC. He was getting the feed from ABC here in the States and I tuned in as well. Saw the second plane hit like many that morning. There was much sleeplessness, and the anthrax attacks. I did my part for getting back to normal by being one of the few who actually saw Lance Bass star in "On the Line" during its first run in the movie theaters. In October, a friend and one time flatmate from uni was killed in a car accident coming home from work. What a mess of shocks those few months brought to my system.

Now five years later, we don't have Osama and we don't know who sent the anthrax but as yet there hasn't been a terrorist strike successful inside the U.S. Those five years also brought me becoming an uncle (times three) and the passing of both parents. Makes me want to vomit on some abstract level.

I watched the first part of "The Path to 9/11" on ABC tonight, the first TV I've watched here live since Mother passed in Feb. I don't know why there was a controversy. There was nothing new or controversial to anyone who has stayed up on the events that proceeded and through 9/11. I have to complain because my local station is running a football game tomorrow instead of part 2! That's bull.

The first hour or so I'd rate a 9 (scale of 10). It slipped after that but was overall pretty good. I think it could've stood some editing but for all I know stuff was cut and filler put in to meet the running length allotted for tonight. No idea why it left out the bombing of the USS Cole. They jumped from the so-called "Millennium Plot" (Dec 31, 1999, although 2000 was the real end of the 20th century) to September 11, 2001. We didn't even see the hijackers get on the American Airliner. Seems an odd choice but maybe it'll be more clear when I see part 2.

RIP The Croc. Hunter

Steve Irwin, famously the Crocodile Hunter, was killed by a stingray barb to the heart while filming a documentary. Thoughts go out to his widow and their two small children. Details here.

Dumb As Rocks :/

Well, Mother's probably laughing at me and saying, "You never learn!" It is 11am. I am still up from Friday and there is email from Brother that says he is doing errands. It doesn't say he is not coming but that's not really of any meaning. Now mind you this contradicts his email from last night that he would see me today!

So I stayed up, I mowed the lawn, watered, talked to neighbor, got the parts for the master closet doors out of their casing and put into place. I just had a snack. That is my millionth sandwich? I did two hot dogs with lettuce! And then I did... peanut butter sandwich... later when stomach was pained at like 5am I did cheese sandwich and now I just had blackberry perserves on bread. I have had much bread today! Bread and diet coke.

There is much hate in the air. And the duckie is leaving on holiday for 240 hours or something? Oh well.

Anyway, this used to happen when Mother was alive and I had plans with Brother. I would change my schedule and stay up extra and then he would not show up. Mother would say, "Sleep!," at 1 or 2pm. Maybe before? I think I will sleep. Kitty doesn't seem to care when I said I didn't think we would get guest last hour. But she was angry at me for not going to bed earlier! An angry kitty is not good. :(

Why the hairy horse hooves do I bother!? ARGH!!! I will finish my Coke and pass out. *sigh* Such a waste of effort!

Neighbor was right tho. I said what odds do you give me on Brother showing up? He gave long odds! Said SIL would make him do other things!

Here is pic of hot dogs with lettuce! I put sweet pickle relish, mayo, romaine lettuce on bun. Dogs are kosher, all beef. Very tasty!



And here is look at replacement board at neighbors. We put this up yesterday afternoon. It was very quick because of so much prep work done. You can tell from the photo that the color stands out so he has to repaint the other trim along the back of his house.

Mad Scientist?

I have barely eaten today. It's 10pm. Had urge for cereal but no milk. Kitty would not let me milk her so I decided to add water to 'non-dairy creamer' powder for coffee. I still had some non-flavored that was Mother's; I preferred French Vanilla which Mother hated as too sweet although she added sugar to her coffee.

So... two parts water to one part powder. Bottled water. The spoon sucked so I got the whisk out and played boat motor. Well, it looked milk-ish. It wasn't cold so I knew it was not going to be great. I poured it on cereal and stirred it a bit. Spoon to mouth... I did not vomit?

It was creamy tasting. Not like milk although I've been drinking 1% milk fat for ages now... anyway, where was I? Oh, eating cereal. Well by the time I finished the bowel I feared diabetic shock! So *very* sweet! Like daiquiris made with honey!*

I put more I made (a cup) in the fridge to get cold in case I get masochistic enough to finish the cereal using it. This non-dairy creamer is mostly corn-syrup solids which, added to the honey on the cereal just about knocked me down. I had vague memory of Mother saying grandmother did milk substitute from creamer when she ran out but I could be delusional. It's bound to be like powdered milk but this was much creamier in taste.

I looked at powered milk last night at the grocery. WTF is it so expensive for? Even on sale, it was $10 for enough to make up 3 gallons. The only advantage it seems to have is not needing refrigeration although you can get real milk that doesn't need refrigeration either as Parmalat in the States.

I was pissed at the grocery for dropping their store-brand version of the cereal I've been eating. Bastard. Loyal readers will remember how in '05 (or so) another chain stopped stocking a Canadian cereal I'd become attached to. I even wrote to complain. They said it was a poor seller. I think that was crap since they started stocking a very similar "Weight Watchers" branded cereal. That was the last time I flirted with cereal. I've been through many cereal traumas over the years. Buc Wheats from General Mills. During my uni days, I would eat Muesli from Ralston (Purina) dry out of the box as a snack. Ralston's people food sold its branded cereals to General Mills and after that, I think Muesli was axed. Kellogg's still has Mueslix which is similar but different. I ate that awhile, it changed to "Healthy Choice" brand for awhile but it back to being Kellogg's branded. It just wasn't as good as the Ralston one. The list of cereals I got to like and saw murdered by the marketplace goes on but a few I don't recall names for such as one granola cereal from Quaker in the 80's. Anyway, it's just one of those, "You are the most f'ing marginal person alive," things.

Which brings me to TV... which has also seen me get hooked and shows axed. Often once a show reaches critical mass of wide appeal I find it's turned to crap. "The Sopranos" for example.

I'm bored of blogging for now. Might go to bed very soon.

Nomad?

Ok, so I'm thinking of taking up a nomadic life. Sort of. I was thinking this evening, feeling in a vaguely 'up' mood, that I'd like to do some of those 20-something things that I missed out on. You know, road trips I didn't do at university and so forth. I realized (or maybe that's not the right word) that I've lived for others a long time. I don't have to do that, there's no reason to take upon myself the estate's debt and keep this house. I should experience something like living. Mother would have wanted that. Hell, it took me time to get her to accept she was in that position herself: she didn't have to answer to others, she could travel. Sadly, that realization came to late for her to embrace and enjoy it fully.

The easy thing is for me to stay here, take root, meet no one, life a monastic life fitting my quickly balding head and just be the rock stable thing that doesn't change with time. Some would say I "gave up" a lot of my "best years" for family, for duty. That seems ridiculous to me but that's because I haven't entirely embraced the passages of time and that I'm not getting younger. Mother used to say, "You were born old." And on a lot of levels that's true.

I "deserve" a mid-life crisis moment of youthful indiscretion. Or something that is my equivalent.

A lot of my depressive moods and self-flagilation (not literally, sorry duckie!) has been focuses on feeling 'useless' and 'of no use to anybody'. Well, is it any wonder? There's no one left. Whether I did the best, most perfect job or not, my task of parental caregiving is over (or close to it). If not now than once the estate closes. Maybe that's one reason I'm not in a rush and happily working on the house, meeting the estate's obligations and so forth. It's a bit of a continuation of taking care of Mother.

Still, I wish the Mother was here.

No Surprises...

Well, it's Saturday. I was up early this morning, did some watering. Brother called around 9:30am or so and said he was at work and wouldn't be out. Please contain your shock! Actually, I think I can hear Duckie laughing at me for being dumb enough to believe he'd show. *sigh*

Water and power are paid up so I don't have to think about them anymore. Need to go do my monthly bill-paying routine on Monday. Trying to decide if I want to pay off credit card or not.

I've been in a really unpleasant state of mind in recent days. I'm not worried for money but I'm not in any sense happy. In fact I've been ragging on myself of being lazy and useless. Speaking of lazy, I think I'll go buy something to drink.

With Ernesto Coming...

With hurricane (typhoon) Ernesto heading into the Gulf of Mexico and the potential to hit the Katrina landfall area, I thought I'd post one of the more humorous videos.

Click the play button below to watch the scene.

Foul mood

Bah humbug.

Hide Me From Evil!?

Well, it's been awhile since I made an entry so I'll try to catch the blog up. The water bill thing continues. I got a "OMG YOU HAVEN'T PAID" notice after seeing that I had a credit balance after overpaying twice. So I called, made the payment. They were going to shut off water Friday if I did not pay? They are stupid as hell? But this is government. They can't be expected to get things right! At some point they'll get caught up with the payments made and this will smooth out. In theory.

Neighbor had termite inspector back to look at board that was more damaged than inspector had said. Inspector said, "Meh," neighbor said, "I got new board, bitch! Go away!"

We took down old board. It took an hour. I got the end with eight nails and much termite abuse! Lucky me?

I had just gotten settled to reply to email from estate lawyer (QUICK! SELL HOUSE!) when neighbor came back to get circular saw to cut new board. I went over to help. We cut new board, then marked places for nails and cut old board. Saw is crap. I hate saw? Was one of father's saws and not mine. I think it needs a new (or sharpened) blade.

Inspector was lazy and wrong? Board had many inside tunnels along board from termites. So new board is ready but neighbor is going to pre-treat board and probably paint it before we put it up. It is almost 4m long; not for one person to do?

I want a nap? Tired. Off my meds, so kitty keeps me on short leash? La. La. La.

Yesterday I got notice estate was 'delinquent' on a debt despite having made payments as requested these recent months. They want $2400? I'm like, "WTF?" I call, idiot says, computer tells me you owe! Computer didn't even have all the payments in it. *sigh* Company just got taken up by another so maybe it has made things weird or something. Anyway, I guess I am loaning estate money to get payments up to being current and the existing pay schedule can take over again. It's all *very* stupid.

Brother still hasn't taken over life insurance policy that Mother had on him? Notice came that payment is almost one month passed due? It is $24? Again, much stupidness. Paperwork for him to take over policy has been given to him twice?

I need to find a wood chipper (mulcher) to dive into, I would feel better? Or the same?

There is other stuff too but that is all I can complain. My legs say, "Get up and move!," so I'll go fetch a drink. Just got 'breakfast' in me. It's 3pm. Been up probably 7 hours.

Congratulations, Ms. Hudson, for proving Simon WRONG!

It took awhile for me to warm up to her after a really bizarre gospel version of Imagine but I was a big fan of Jennifer Hudson during American Idol 3. Now she is starring in film with Jamie Foxx and Beyonce. Simon had made comments clearly about Jennifer that she wouldn't be seen from again, despite what she or other contestents felt when she was cut just a week after she was the top vote getter.

Based on a popular Broadway musical, Dreamgirls is due in December! The singing voice over the trailer is Jennifer.

Mother was a fan too! I'm very happy for Jennifer and want to see the movie!

Birthday! Do We Celebrate Or Rue?

The original IBM PC, known as Model 5150, turns 25 on Saturday.

Self Loathing Is An Artform?

Well if not than it should be! What did I do today? Well, I was sleeping and swear the phone rang and I ignored it and then machine took call and I hard mumbles and "card services" but then I decided to get up and use the toilet. I did and checked the machine, no message! At least that's what I remember. I got back into bed. I'd slept maybe 2 hours. That's my story anyway!

Later I checked to see if the machine wasn't taking messaged but left myself a message without problem. I tried to use the call-back service but was told it wasn't available for that line. I don't know if that meant the line I called from or the line I was trying to reach. Anyway, since it failed I should be charged. If it was a call and was important they'll call back. Should not have been any reason to call me. I watered dirt although I noticed more tiny grasses yearning to suffer the scorching sun. Neighbor was working on a painting project prep for tomorrow. His bug inspection went OK.

I had just finished cleaning fish tanks. Poor fish haven't had cleaning since Feb or Mar. I am not good for them. :(

Then I had litter box outside. I gave up on the underlayment I was using (kitchen bin-sized trash bag) and tried something else this time. I had to clean litter box a lot. No wonder kitty has been angry at me and using outdoors for litter box! I am not good with litter box like Mother was. I was better with fish when Mother was helping. I would've given them fresh rocks instead of reusing but I can't find them easily and Brother only looked once when I told him to look where he shops. That place is the most consistent at having them. Maybe I should check online.

I had too much cereal again. Two bowls at different times though. The second time I was too lazy for anything more complicated and just not in the mood for much food. I was in foul mood tonight. Very self-loathing. Closer to 10 pm, I went outside and watered dirt again. I was irritated and sullen. I trimmed the edges of my ice plant in the flower box and also the edge of the grass near the street. I was cleaning up when neighbor came outside. It was earlier than usual. He had coffee. I thought that was strange since it was warm evening. He had put wife to bed early and she was cold, demanding blanket. I guess that is why I didn't get invited over. We chatted a bit. Now it is almost midnight. I had blackberry preserves on bread. Am scanning a pamphlet on door openings for Brother.

Must relax. I will try to go to bed before 2pm I think. There is no Duckie tonight. It is Thursday for him. Sleeping time all depends on what I do the next hour or two.

Had strange dream that involved (not dead in dream) grandmother and the house. I can't remember it clearly but in dream I was working on the house. Anyway, there's little point saying more since I've forgotten now. Dreams are always about stupid things like house or isolation!

Meh.

Let's see, what has been done this week? Ants are gone. Been watering dirt. In two spots there are tiny grasses. But not much elsewhere. Neighbor said it will take three weeks so I will try to be patient. I swear I'm in a time warp!

I did groceries. Took 2 hours? First, I went to bank to put in deposit for estate. Internet lied about banking hours. They were not yet closed but I used ATM anyway. Then to the grocery... there was a long wait at the deli, I let some nicely dressed 20-something go ahead of me. Technically he was there before I was but he didn't realize it or because I was in the deli area and had been at the counter earlier but left to check pre-made salads. I got two 'half pound" containers of chicken-caesar salad. Great, right? Half-pound is .5 lbs, not .19 and .23 which is what I was given. :( At least I paid for exact amount but that meant I ate both the same day! Evil! Anyway, the pre-made kits are cheaper than the stuff mushed up in the cold case for some reason. Don't understand why. It's stupid! I got one kit too which I had today.

What next? I got many items. I needed 'sweet pickle relish' and couldn't decide if I wanted house-brand (cheap!), brand with coupon or preferred brand. I got one of the house-brand and one of brand with coupon which is normally more expensive than brand I prefer. I say 'prefer' because I haven't had the other two! It was what I always had. I got these others so I can see if they are acceptable alternatives for future reference. One house-brand (store-brand) at another grocery is just crap. Mother used to work developing store-brands of popular items as food chemist when she was in her 20s. She did not cook when I was born, her mother did the cooking and when she passed on when I was 16, Mother did cooking but had no patience and so it was not great. She let me do the cooking for us. That was better? I still have things in the freezer that were planned for me to cook! *sigh*

Ok, back to grocery! There was weird guy ahead of me in line? He emptied my cart for me and didn't say anything. He had goofy look on his face. He was employee but that was weird anyway. I bought almost too much! I had considered buying online and having delivery but that seemed to emphasize my 'shut-in' syndrome. I had taken a luggage carrier that Mother had in a backpack when I went to grocery. I put my liquids into the backpack: 2 soda, 3 milk, 2 gatorade. I put the frozen food on the luggage carrier. It had no basket or case so I used a portfolio as a base and weaved the tension line through the bags. The other bags I carried by hand. I had to take two or three rests on the way to the house. The back was screaming for relief! I made it OK. Food got put away fast and then I had breakfast!

That was Monday. Tuesday, I didn't do much at all. Just deep water of dirt. Talked to neighbor for a couple minutes in the early evening. I paid bills online. Power bill is corrected. Dropped from over $150 to under $35! It was good I called about bad reading. Stupid, lazy worker! I paid student loan. I couldn't find the old coupon book so I waited on that. Oops, ran late. I had almost forgotten. But I didn't. It's paid until the end of the month. Loan is almost paid off. I could pay off now but am trying to conserve funds for anticipated move. *sigh* :/

Email from brother came day late explaining why he wasn't here: SIL 'had plans' so he got to watch the kids on Sunday?

So that is what has gone on. I know there is more but I am tired? Cat will come and meow that I sleep soon. She is very demanding. My right leg is a bit sore at the thigh and my back is stiff and aching. I said on the way back with groceries that if I do that again Mother should smack me upside the head! No one offered to help but I got many quizzical looks. I got one snide comment from a boney white guy with feathered hair like the late 70's disco or hair-band era in the 80's. He was just trying to impress the two he was with. It was hilarious, really, because I hate calling attention to myself in public. I just realize I got that from Mother--this might be more recent feeling, I'm not sure?

I want fooding. Maybe a snack before bedtime?

Lazy day?

There was no guest. Phone rang this morning but there was no one on the other end? Kitty has been OK today. Went out, watered dirt but--gasp--I have tiny grasses coming up in one spot. Yay me? Was very windy. Neighbor brought his wife outside but they returned indoors almost immediately. Don't know why. Maybe it was too windy for her. Oh well.

Listing to Aus radio online. It is noon there so it is time for 80's mix! Fun! Not sure what I'll do with myself tonight. Need to plan grocery tomorrow. *sigh*

Wish I was less anxious tonight. No clue why I feel that way. Had dream there was a maths class in the sunroom/addition and I attended because I was lonesome with Mother/Father gone? It is good to have kitty though.

What else... hmm. Not sure. Maybe I will eat food? Might calm me down.

So Far So Good?

Well, it is Saturday and just short of 5am. I checked on ant baits. I don't see ants. I wonder if it got too cool. It is maybe 20C (68F) outside. I see no ants indoors. Hopefully this is the end of the 2006 ant invasion. Wouldn't surprise me if more spring up but I'm ready with baits. They love this stuff! So glad Mother and I found it in 2002 when we had ants everywhere... bathrooms, bedrooms, kitchen... they even climbed into the fridge! Ugh. Hard to believe that was four years ago. Seems so recent to me.

Anyway, I will sleep now? Kitty is waiting I think. Oh, I also finally signed up successfully online for that account management thing. Good to have that done. One less reason to use stamps! Now that I've gotten online I see that company works on Central Time so I didn't stand much chance! That is 2 hrs ahead? That is evil. :(

Must sleep now before day gets worse! At least if it goes to crap while I sleep I don't have to witness it happening. :D

Should Be Beaten With A Stick!

Me, that is. What a cocked-up day. I tried to make my credit card payment. I was saving a stamp and paying by phone. They said, "There is fee!" "$5!" And I'm like, "WTF?" So they say, "Online pay is free!" So I'm like, I'll do that. Well, I tried to do that in the afternoon. The brain-raping setup kept saying "Information doesn't match our records." "Wait 2 hours." So, like an idiot, I wait two hours. Same problem. I call them back, "Oh, is it asking for maiden name?" "Yes." "Well, that field is blank." "That's usually the problem people have when signing up online." Of course, this is not helping the blood pressure. They say, "Try now!" and I'm like "OK" and again it says, "Try again in two hours." "Oh, I'm sorry." I'm just like... bah... "let me pay on phone! I know there is fee!" And service person is like 'payment won't clear until Tuesday, it will be late!!!' I'm like... "Will paying online be quicker then?" "No." So them I'm thinking 'WTF did you bother telling me as if there was a way around this time lag.' So I paid the ****ing five bucks to make a ****ing late payment that will fucking cost ten dollars in ****ing late fees just so I could save one ****ing stamp. And I still can't sign up online. Mother-****ers!

Kitty came in, looking needful and started to cough. I was like, "Oh! Let's fetch hairball gel." She wanted to go outside instead probably for grass. I don't know if she got the grass or not. Why not? Because I noticed there were ants on the porch. I'm like... WTF are they doing... and then I track the bastards. Up the step, turn left, turn right, down the wall, cross the hall, into the kitchen. Of course I'm like, "****! Ants in the kitchen!" They were not at the trash, just milling around. I had found them at the start of their scouting it appeared. I took trash bin outside, found Windex (blue window cleaner with ammonia) and went on killing spree. Then I fetched ant baits from the supply Mother and I had gotten as caution. I put two outside on the edge of the porch in their path to the house so they would find them and hopefully decide that was better than what they found in the house (a single piece of cereal). I misplaced the other two from the package. I found them and put one by the entry door and one by the now completely empty and washed out trash bin in the kitchen, also washing down the porch. I think I stopped this invasion soon enough.

Anyway, my anger is up. Very upset with myself because I did not try paying credit card on Thursday instead so that it would've been processed before weekend instead of after. :/ Since this is a "known" problem with people signing up online, they are not competent to demand such confirmation (more than they demand via phone when you talk to them)!

Ants are evil?

I hope neighbor invites me over to watch some TV. Might help reduce my stress level? Mail was late today. Another different mail person that said something like, "small dog," to me. Whatever. I didn't really look at it. No bills, just junk it looked like.

Neighbor called. Watched Food TV. His wife was confused, couldn't find husband. Asked me many questions about my puppies (have only cat), where I parked my trailer, where I parked (asked two or three times), asked how I liked where I was living now, that Mother would come back when I got all moved in... it was sad. :( Father had confused days too. Neighbor tried to fake wife into thinking he was back by saying he had gone to water lawn. She bought that for awhile then later forgot and said she didn't know where he was. She did call me by name when I said goodnight though. Ants are feasting on baits I put outside. Die! Die! Die! I have more baits if they are that hungry! All the better to kill them with. I had three bowls of cereal today I think. Maybe two. I'm not even sure. It was a lousy day. :(

Ugh... Thought I'd Feel Better!

So... I slept at a vaguely reasonable hour and soon I had some idiot at the door ringing the bell. It was a heater/AC guy looking for a house three blocks away! Makes me crazy... I get their mail, their luggage, their repair people... it's a pain! So then I tried to get back into bed.

Phone rang! It was telling me documents arrived. Yay. Asked for more info and promised another call. So I'm like... ugh. I think the phone rang again, I promised a call back after verifying something and did that. So that was the end of phone tag for the morning.

I decided it was time to go pay bills so I gathered things and walked out the door. Almost up the block, I thought... wait, you forgot the mortgage number! So after a brief battle with self, I came back at which time I realized I'd forgotten a couple of envelopes. Then it was off to the bank. I got to the front of the line and was told, "WAIT!," as the teller hurried to close his spot. Right. So then I got this really young appear guy who is trying to grow a goatee or something. There are maybe two dozen chin stubble. He's asian so facial hair isn't a great option for him. He kept asking me if I lived in this state and thinking... I'm just in your bank but really live on the moon! At least we got things settled and mortgage paid, and I loaned the estate more money. Yay, right? Ugh.

Then it was off to the post office. I decided to pay fewer bills by mail than I had planned. I'll save stamps and pay online or by phone. I got that done. Best part was another customer volunteering his language skills to translate for a guy who only spoke Vietnamese. Now, I have to say I'm shocked there was no Vietnamese speaker working at the post office in this area. That's just crazy! Anyway, the guy was not shipping a bomb in his ketchup box so I guess things worked out.

On my way back I got heckled from two lanes over by a black passenger in a white minivan with brakes so worn it was clearly metal scraping metal. Since I was crossing a street I was looking to see if there was a car coming to turn before I crossed. Paranoid asshole that he was, he demanded to know, "What you lookin' at motherfucker?" I ignored him, crossed and went on my way. As he went by he yelled something else but the only word I could pick out was "now"... I was sorry they made it through the stop light. I would've liked to hear more good cheer!

Now I am back, I had cereal. I resisted temptation to get piggy fast food although I could've been tasty! Duckie would've been mad at the piggy-ness. Kitty has come out of hiding and is lounging on the floor behind me. Maybe I will lay down.

Already money is draining... it never stops! My neck aches. It's been doing that a lot lately. :/

Mail was boring except I got someone else's magazine. Not sure where that street is so I put it back in mail for carrier to get. I took catalog to neighbor because he was curtain shopping and had mentioned store Mother gets catalogs from. He said he had ordered and because he did it today instead of yesterday it cost him $100 more. :/ The ones he ordered weren't in this catalog so no savings to be had there. Oh well. I thought I heard a wet street today at some point but neighbor said he did not notice a wet street. Maybe I was crazy or it didn't last long? Or I am crazy and it didn't last long too! Dirt was moist, but I sprinkled water on it an hour ago.

Now I am finishing with 'dinner'. Piggy food of three chicken strips. Kitty is on my bed. I was going to lay down but that's when mail came and made kitty nervous. She obviously can tell routine from strangers. This was different mail guy. I feel bad for kitty... so nervous by nature. It is her b-day month and I haven't gotten her anything really. Maybe I can get a new scratcher for her? :/ What else is going on... other than my nerves being shot. Infant nephew is six month's old. I think... well I did an e-card thing up and sent it anyway. Could be a day-early or maybe not. I can't even remember the random thing that made me think of it. Must've been thinking of Mother being gone nearly six months.

Even with money in the bank, I have the urge to dig a hole in the yard and hide in it. Ugh. Might call neighbor this evening to see if they'd like company if I don't nap or find other things to distract me.

Better Off Dead

I haven't heard that song, I should try to give it a listen sometime. That's how I'm feeling.

Anyway, FedEx brought the paperwork. I leapt forth and read it... blah, blah, lawyer, blah, lies, blah. Fine. I packed my backpack and told the kitty I'd return. Since it was on the way, I talked to the bank to see if they notarize documents for customers. Well, I didn't have my translator but as far as I could tell they don't do that. I wish the branch mangler had been around, his English is better.

So off to the notary and... I was early. Notary doesn't arrive until 10:30am! Ok, it was only a 10-15 minute wait. The guy seemed like a prick. I gave him one copy, paid $10, gave a finger print, signed, gave blood & urine samples... ok, well some of that anyway. Then I'm off to FedEx! That's in the mall across the street. So I walk, walk, walk and while I'm making copies I realize OOPS, there's a second page for notarizing! There are two complete 'originals' that need the same treatment. Fine, whatever. I pack up and walk back across the major roadway, around the fake homeless vet, and to the notary place! The guy says, "Did I screw something up?" Well... that's a nice and reassuring attitude. :P So I explain there's a second original and get charged $10! No anal probe this time. Back to FedEx. I stuff "pre-paid" envelope with documents to return and go to the counter. It gets ringed up and I say, "Uh... isn't that pre-paid?" She said, "No, there's no XYZQRP number." I check my copies and don't see any number. I say, "I guess I'm paying then." I'm thinking, "I know the cover letter said pre-paid! ARGH!" So that was like $22. Whatever... let me out of here.

I went to grocery and abuse the coin-counting machine. I think it stole a dollar from me. It only seems to know about recent dollar coins, not the older larger ones. Stupid machine! At least I only 'lost' one! I put one in as a test. I took the receipt to register, got the cash, then checked cereal. There was sale through tomorrow so I got 4 boxes. Then I came home.

I tripped on the uneven sidewalk coming back and managed to stop my forward motion just before hitting a rose bush. It wasn't an elegant effort but did the job. I won't make the Olympic team. Ok, so I got back to the house. Neighbor was watering his lawn so I chatted with him a bit. I came in, made cereal, got naked, rolled around in money... oh wait... no, I just had cereal. I checked cover letter and it does say "pre-paid" so now I have to complain it wasn't pre-paid after all!

I have a headache. Probably because of bad sleep and not eating before now. Cat is yelling at me. :/
-----
Ok, it's Thursday now... just after midnight. I napped a bit earlier because I had too much sun. Watered grass seed many times. I hope it will grow. Where I did 'test' seeding and watered it is growing so that is why I took the steps on Tuesday to reboot lawn. Ha...reboot.

Kitty is washing on the floor. She is good kitty and was outside with me a bit. I just came in from chatting to neighbor. I don't know how he does it. Probably be escaping now and then. OMG! It is birthday month for kitty! Need to make note of that. She is good animal.

The pre-paid envelope saga was sorted out. It was clerical error. It was blamed on temp. Or 5 other excuses. Whatever. Will be compensated for it. Need to decide if I want to allow direct deposit or wait for check which will probable end up with another stupid 5 day business hold. Must gather more information. Kitty is snoring. (Aww...)

How crazy would I be to propose just keeping the house with my brother. Yes, he wouldn't/couldn't pay his share but that wouldn't be a problem IMHO so long as I'm able to live here, keep things up... etc. Besides, I'd probably take on flat mates to defer costs anyway. This would be 'investment' for us. His wife might hemorrhage but it doesn't actually change the state of anything because law says we have equal interest anyway. Wonder how hard this would be to pull off and just how fucking nuts I am to consider it. There's no reason to put forth this notion until I can pay the Mother's other outstanding debts. Mother would say, "Are you f-ing crazy!?" HA. Maybe. She would say, "Don't trust!" And, "Run!" I will need to run numbers. This is why there are lawyers too. Lawyers to make agreements. The evil would be whether SIL would have 'half' of Brother's share or not... stupid 'community property' state. :/

Ep 5: Water Dept Strikes Back?

So I'd mentioned the ongoing insanity with the water bill before and how it didn't come to the house last month.

From what I could see online, supposedly it hadn't been paid in 3 months so it was around $180. I believed this was bogus but whatever… I paid that amount.

First time was an attempt via the online service which the bank rejected claiming they don't allow that service to debit accounts. Whatever! So, anyway… I went and physically pulled the money out and sent a money order from the post office.

I got email saying "bill is ready online"--yay, I think. More money to give away, I log-in and click thinking "let's see how outrageous it'll be."

Reflecting that $180 payment, I've got $140 CR on the account now!

I overpaid! Stupid bastard thing was paid up already!

This is why people lose their minds. :/
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Trash bins were on sidewalk for some reason. They were still full and alive with flies and ants! Evil neighbor had added garbage to the bins. North of me, bins were empty. The yard stuff was taken though. South of me, bins were full! What happened? :(

I dragged bins across the street because those bin seemed full too and I could see truck coming. I waited until bins got empty there and dragged them back across the street. No idea when this side will get finished or what happened to pickup this morning.
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I am not the lawn/garden center! Grandma neighbor sent (ok, maybe it wasn't her who sent there are rich sperm donors visiting) grand child to borrow rakes.

Running tally… I've done plumbing work of replacing faucet and cleaning pipes in kitchen, loaned rakes now three times, loaned mower one time, loaned weed-eater one time. And I think that is where the skank garbage came from. :/

Oh! Forgot… was asked for $1 several times by grandkids, change for $10, change for $20, to buy candy, for free lemons and for 'season salt' too. So I am lawn-garden-plumbing-bank-pantry-supplimental garbage bin! I'm so lucky! Yay me?
-----
Insurance co. called. Reviewer said she has just gotten records? Just starting review? *sigh*
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Last night neighbor had said his power/gas bill had gone up huge because of gas use. I checked bill online today and it said gas use was very high for me! I'm like W-T-F? How did I use all that? So I go out to the meter to look. They said used 90 units more than meter says today! I called power company, they had me go out to read meter after seeing in computer there was no 'history' of such high use. They took reading I gave. They will send new corrected bill! Should save $100? It is crazy torment. If neighbor had not commented, I would not have double-checked meter and would have just paid like he did. *sigh*
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Tilled front lawn, put down weed-feed, new grass seed, watered. If it grows for me, fine; if not, it can rot. :/
-----
Still waiting on funds. If I hadn't overpaid a water bill that was lies, I would be in better shape! Makes me want to vomit.

Bad Mood Today

It's Friday. Again the rules have stayed consistent... when you are waiting to be *paid* the pace moves at a comatose snail's pace. When you have a payment to make, there is no slack just harassment! It is evil! :/

I completely screwed up. Mother would've brained me with her purse for not ensuring my own needs were put first! *sigh* I was not good on schedule. Made error of expecting more help. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

I ended up counting my change today. Lots of change too!

I feel sick but I know it is the stress and heat. And I need to food as well.

I put the moulding in Father's room last night so that room is done except for emptying and cleaning the floor? Did a bit or wallboard and final piece of moulding in kitchen. Other moulding put in earlier this week for kitchen is painted.

Need to call to cancel estate payment on Monday because funds won't be free by then. Very annoying! I am upset with self. It is very hard for self to manage so many things without unplugging and recharging self.

Must make calls.

Ok, I cancelled the payment. And then I made another call. Then another. Then I called again and reschedule payment.

This is all very psychotic! Mail brought a refunded payment for what I know was a legitimate purchase. Mother bought music on iTunes a week or so before she died? I paid that bill when it came on her credit card (was the total balance). No idea why they have refunded. Maybe they figured she was dead quickly and doesn't need the music? I had thought that sucked. She had just gotten those songs and wouldn't have time to enjoy? Hadn't even burned CD copy of them yet, just put them on her ipod. *sigh*

Brother is coming Sunday? He is going to take week off mid-August when I'll be rich and powerful, able to pay for things like carpet!

OMG LANTH NEWS!!!

Lanth is gay!

I mean it's official now! :D

Well, I Guess It Is Progress?

I called insurance. Got moved to three representatives. Got promised another letter. Boring. I called "special investigator" cell phone and *shock* it was answered! Has been on maternity leave! Still telling old lies about records and hospital but admits records are there now? Said they will go for review? Said call end of next week for update? That is good I think? At least an 'end' is in sight even if they do not pay?

It is warm inside. Kitty hid for a bit. Had annoying kid ask after change for a $20. I am not a pantry (last week asked for 'season salt'). I am not a change machine (asked for $10 change a month ago, now $20).

For some reason not all garbage was taken.

Heat is on?

It was hot again. Heat is evil. It is warm tonight. I don't approve of warmth! Make it go away?

Brother was not coming over. I demanded? Pounded fist? Brother came over?

Ok, I didn't demand or pound fist... I persuaded. RL-nephew was battling SIL and so Brother couldn't leave? I said, 'bring him here!' Brother came over with RL!

Day got started about 2pm but at least things did get done. There is much to say about day but now I am very tired and want to sleep but then I can't pine for the Duckie if I am sleeping. Maybe sleep is best. Can pine another day?

Kitty is already waiting in the bed. Feeling very drowsy. Was very weird day! Sleep calls, I will answer! :D

Thoroughly Thursday

Well, I couldn't sleep with anything last night. Not at all. Ok, maybe two hours. I got up, neighbor was already outside! Was going to wash his car. I don't know maybe it was 7am or not? I went in, think I tried to nap. No, that's not right. I did researching online and got a call. Set up payment for Mother by end of month for that creditor again. Different person calling, I think they realized the other was just too ditsy for the task, I'm not sure. So I got that done. Then I tried to call insurance company at some point. They said computers were down, try calling in two hours. Well, I had other business to do so I didn't get around to that. I'll try again tomorrow.

Found decent sounding company to contact for some business. Made call, agent was nice. Gathered paperwork and went outside to get air. House was warming up. Evil! It was meant to be cooler! I saw neighbor. He mowed lawn. I mowed back yard, what grass there is. Front got water. Back got water too. I pulled weeds. Later I sat with neighbor and his wife a few minutes. They went in, he was going to call to have me over tonight but it's after 8pm, no call so I guess things went south. Too bad. I would've liked to have been over but I am tired and might just nap if kitty will let me have part of the bed. Kitty has been outside twice. Last hour she just wanted to get into empty flower box and spy on the neighbors. She has been OK kitty, was angry earlier but not sure why. Maybe my irregular sleeping annoyed her. Hard to know.

Had a meal. Now I'm tired and want to nap. Napping... or not. Neighbor called! I will go over and visit.

I visited. The cooking show was pretty lame which was too bad. "Becker" passed the time. Now I'm lounging about to see if Duckie will pop online tonight. I also checked the scheduling at this weekend's large gaming, film & comics convention to see if there's anything interesting in case I'm chaperoning the niece & nephew (likely Sunday as if it'll happen). One name on a panel leapt* out at me (see next entry) though!

I think I'll food on something.

* Muz insists "leapt" is correct but in the US I think it's "lept" which seems to be only supported by an entry in Encarta online and since that's billgates bastard dictionary I'll go with Muz on this one.

Wasted Wednesday

Well, I basically hid in bed throughout the day. I just didn't feel good. Later in the day I felt better. I cleaned some things out of the bedroom in case it was an environmental irritant or something. I watered dead lawn. A realtor whose open house we visited on Sunday dropped of a package of materials. She did a report on the market and comparable homes and their strategy and what to do for improving home for sale time. She thought yard was "OK" and expected worse from my description of it being dead. Well, the grass is dead but I've removed everything else! And some grass is not dead. And there is still something growing in a set of flower boxes. I guess it is OK.

Tonight I was going to paint Mother's room but emptied her closet instead. Her clothes fit in one box. I hadn't realized so many of the things she'd already parted with. I felt choked up in my throat but wasn't really. I noticed things still packaged or with their sales tags attached. Of three family members' passing, this death is the biggest a royal pisser for me. "A life interrupted" was how Brother described it to someone just after it happened.

He's a bastard making me do this for him. Now, I helped with Father's stuff for Mother but that was different. She was there, directed it and we did it together. We also did that a mere week after he passed away too. Brother is very avoidant about the whole thing. I don't blame him, I might be that way too if I wasn't living here. I'm not sure what I want to do with two of her leather coats. I didn't know she still had her old fur. I'm afraid to give that way because I don't know it would be appreciated rather than seen as some kind of crazed animal rights thing. Well, the SIL has no business in it so I guess it'll be given away. That's what Mother would do.

The leather coats were purchased with my input and she wore them on outings to concerts we took in so in that sense they have a bit of sentimental value to me. I'll probably store them until a later date.

I'm still battling myself over financial things... do I buy Brother out and buy the estate's debt or just leave the house behind and try to start fresh somewhere else? In the past day or so I've been leaning towards an exit strategy. I think I'll move forward on that assumption. It might give me motivation. Or something.

Food is finally warm. Now I eat. More "Healthy Choice" frozen food. At least I'm not being piggy.

The Panic In Me

I hate panic. It's obnoxious. Well, ok, maybe not panic. I don't panic but I do get stressed and work myself into a tense neck which is quite uncomfortable. I got the water bill payment scheduled. Reviewed a credit report. Seems I had a credit card account I didn't know I was a party to. I'll look into this but I think I know of the circumstance of the card, account now closed.

What else have I done other than work myself into a neck of knots? I gave kitty hair ball stuff. Neighbor didn't phone, I figured he wouldn't. I sat outside with him and his wife for a few minutes. It was a hot day and she had a blanket over her. I remember those days with Father! Neighbor seemed drained. He said he had done three (or four?) loads of laundry due to his wife. That will drain you since it requires stripping and cleaning another person and getting them dressed again each time. I remember those days with Father too well. I used to ask Mother if she missed the "old days" and she said no. Can't ask that today. I thought I'd get a call or visit from my uncle or Brother but no.

It's Tuesday and I've made it through most of the tasks I'd considered for the week. I have some financial things and calls to make. Had another call from estate creditor probably asking for a payment this month due to their stupid internal rules which would cause them to lose the account to a collection agent. I'll deal with that tomorrow. I think I'll try for an early rest or an early rise at least. Only matters that I get things done, not really the time of day they get done I suppose.

It's about 9pm. Could use another meal. I've the urge to do more cereal. I've had cereal, yogurt and a "Healthy Choice" frozen meal.

Did I mention the walk I took today? I took the old housing development map that Father & Mother had and walked around to see what their choices were. Once I saw, I understood how we ended up in this house of the choices. There were other, larger, nicer choices but most were up against a proposed school site which Father didn't want to have the yard up against. In those days he did "shift work" and was often a day sleeper. As it was, you could hear the school yard although it wasn't nearly so loud as it would've been. The school is gone now, with a park in its place. If only we'd known, right? Since this house was on a "view lot" in those days, it made sense to pick it over the same home model in another place. Of course that view disappeared in about two years when a canyon was filled and more houses built by a different developer. Brother and I noticed several examples of that Sunday as we looked for "Open House" signs. Clearly folks lost their canyon views when another developer decided to either put another set of houses just a bit further down the canyon or fill it in some areas.

Honestly, I'd have been extremely outraged. This community was basically undeveloped. There was next to nothing. So why fill in canyon when there was huge parcels of dirt waiting for development? Bastards! It was probably greed. Why charge one set of suckers for a "view" when we can destroy their view to charge a new set of suckers for it!

Mother said the immediate neighbors and they were out at midnight as the bulldozers began the work the night the building moratorium ended. What can you do, really? This was one of those "Master Planned" communities. Now parts of it looks like a slum as folks move out and turn the homes into investment properties or as immigrants bring their old culture to America and don't assimilate. This used to be a nice community, composed mostly of military families but more importantly it was composed of home owners, not renters, folks on welfare... I have to think every city will go this way. Mother talked about her own city "dying" and was appalled at what it had become when we visited maybe 15 years after she'd come West. This one is dying too but I can't tell if it's truly destined to be fatal.

Well at least I'm feeling less wound up. Now I need to puzzle a meal. Maybe I'll have fruit preserves. I haven't had that in awhile.

Tuesday's Musings

OK, it's Tuesday. It's about half-based 2pm. I didn't sleep well. Had a dream with Brother (rare appearance!) and I at hospital trying to get autopsy for Mother. In the dream I said Father had died and then corrected myself. Other parts of the dream were weird too.

I was up late putting down the floor moulding, finishing out the hall-kitchen area. I didn't put trash bins out. I couldn't be bothered. They were still basically empty anyway. It's hot again today. Worse than yesterday. There was possibility of thunderstorms but that's only meant humidity, no rain or light shows.

Woke up feeling anxious-depressed. I ate feel a bit better, though not fantastically. I'm still avoiding putting some financial things in motion although I'm going to pay the water bill today.

I had a thought earlier in the hour that I don't have to stay with this house and that some of the things I've been focused upon is really a "continuation" of sorts of Mother-Father's life and not "beginning" my own. I need to puzzle that more and see if there's much intermingling of those two ideas, in what sense and how it compromises my authentic thought processes and desires on moving forward. It's clearly an important thing.

Think I'll have a more substantive meal in a bit. That cereal doesn't go far these days.

Darren Hayes marries male partner in UK

His first solo CD, "Spin" didn't sell well in the US so we didn't get the follow-up album. A big factor in Spin failing is the brief return of "pop music" to mainstream popularity imploding although "Spin" and the first single "Insatiable" was not really going to work widely in the US.

It would've been interesting to see how this news would've effected his career in the US if he still had one...

Australian singer Darren Hayes has married his male partner of two years in a civil service in the United Kingdom.

In a personal message posted on his official website, the former Savage Garden frontman confirmed he had married his British partner Richard Cullen.

"I very rarely make comments about my private life," the singer said.

"On June 19th, 2006, I married my boyfriend of two years, Richard, in a civil partnership ceremony in London. I can honestly say it was the happiest day of my life."

Hayes has been based in the UK for a number of years and earlier this month returned to Australia for a one-off concert at the Sydney Opera House, where he was spotted wearing a wedding ring.

Cullen is believed to have travelled with the singer on that trip.

Hayes was previously married to university sweetheart Colby Taylor.

The couple separated in 1999 after four years of marriage and have remained close friends.

"I'm proud of who I am, and after what felt like an eternity, I'm finally in a place where my heart is secure and content," said Hayes.

"And I can finally make sense of all of the searching."

Hayes has been asked about his sexuality since splitting with his wife but has, until now, remained tight lipped.

Hayes has thanked his family, friends and fans for their support.

"To my mum, dad, sister and brother - thanks for always being so cool and loving me unconditionally," he said.

"To the people who buy my records, come to my shows and demonstrate on a daily basis their love and support for me and what I do: thank you.

"Your overwhelming message to me lately seems to be that you are just glad that I am happy. For this, I am eternally grateful."

The British government this year introduced the Civil Partnership Act, allowing same sex couples to marry in the UK.

In Australia, however, the federal government has opposed same-sex marriage and quashed ACT legislation allowing homosexuals to create civil unions.

"I feel lucky to live in an era where my relationship can be considered legally legitimate and I commend the UK government for embracing this very basic civil liberty," said Hayes.

Savage Garden broke up in 2001 after five years together.

Hayes and group co-founder Daniel Jones had two internationally successful albums - Savage Garden and Affirmation - selling more than 20 million copies worldwide.

Their biggest hits included Truly Madly Deeply, I Knew I Loved You, The Animal Song and I Want You.

After Savage Garden, Hayes reinvented himself, turning to less commercial solo music at the risk of alienating some of his fans.

He has since released two solo albums - Spin and The Tension and the Spark - and has almost finished a third.

It has been announced that Hayes had parted ways with his Australian label, Sony BMG.

Can I Scream?

Well, I got up today about... hmm, I don't know when. It was warm but there was a cool breeze in the window. I did... again, I don't know. So I thought I would do moulding today. I cut a few pieces of quarter round which are colored to match the tile but I didn't like the look. I took photos and was going to get feedback from Brother. Then I said "bah" and changed what we had agreed on yesterday. I cut the fancy moulding that's used in the hall and dining and now master bath. Well, -- STOP!

I remember, I went on roof and sprayed lithium grease on the vents I though one was squeaking. Later I found out it was the tarp I put up for extra shade on the patio where I do most of my hand sawing. So that had meant going out in sun, fetching extension ladder, climbing ladder, walking over roof, spraying one-two-three vents, getting down, putting ladder away... blah, blah and here it wasn't those vents anyway.

So back to the moulding... I decided to do that. I put vinyl under the kitchen cabinets where they meet the flooring. It really doesn't show which is fine. What else... last night I put another coat of paint on central bath ceiling. I noticed on Sunday is still looked like a blotchy mess after three coats. I haven't inspected it today. I'm not sure I dare?

Kitty has been outside this evening. Saw neighbor long enough for him to tell how he was mad about having to fetch not only grandson but his teammates to take them home in change of plans! He was making dinner for his wife and she didn't know who he was today. *sigh*

The grandma whose plumbing I worked one is apparently having a birthday tomorrow! Might mean crowd. So for one piece of the moulding I had to so I lugged the table saw out into the walkway so it would be standing level. Those saws are heavy! I'm surprise there are no wheels? Neighbor said there are rats in yard next to his. He said he saw them on the fence and they were eating grease from the BBQ in that yard. Fun! Hopefully they'll not come here? I have nothing to feed them except my toes?

I heated food but haven't fetched it. Maybe it will improve my mood. I'm getting more and more downbeat. *sigh*

Anyway I will go back to using pliers to hold tiny nails while I hammer them in. That will add to the time! But I guess it's mostly OK. I will get food now. Maybe blog later?

Test-Tube Beef (No Cow Needed)

Father used to tease me about "parts-is-parts" chicken nuggets... wonder if he'd eaten this? The guy's market is probably the 3rd world, vegans and maybe India (no "sacred cows" here).

Scientist Seeks Burger Investors

CHARLESTON, S.C., July 13 (UPI) -- A U.S. scientist has developed a process to grow cow cells into full-size hamburger overnight but he can't get anyone to invest in the process.

Vladimir Mironov, a biology researcher at the Medical University of South Carolina, said the process involves taking immature cells that develop into skeletal muscles from cows -- or pigs, or chickens, or turkeys -- and fusing them to a protein that, with the help of steroids, grows into big hunks of meat, The Charleston (S.C.) Post and Courier reported.

The newspaper said the process isn't exactly cloning, but more like cattle farming through chemistry.

The scientific procedure has been published in tissue-engineering journals, but Mironov says he can't find any financial backers, Post and Courier says.

"In business, who pays to make a product nobody wants to buy?" Mironov asked. "You show this technology and say, 'Do you want to try the meat?' and they all say, 'No.'"

But Mironov says the long-term benefits of the technology could outweigh the negative public perception.

He told the newspaper: "It's not Frankenstein meat. It's like hydroponic tomatoes."

Sunday, Was It A Fun Day?

There were vexing burns on the cultured marble countertops in the bathrooms because of a careless smokers of years past. I had wondered... can you can get them out? Well, see for yourself:





Look good to me! (I wet sanded with 600 grit paper.)

Brother showed up. He called first but there was crap phone connection and called back, it died so he didn't call more. It was 94F (34C) at the house when he appeared. I fetched ladder so he could go into overhead to put the light back in the dining area. Well, that never happened. I did a show-and-ask about different materials I had for different tasks and we agreed on what to do. He also approved of the master bath. He adjusted a thing on the toilet so now it flushes properly. He 'forgot' to do that before. I didn't know there was another adjustment that could be done or I would've fixed that myself! He said he found that out when he was working on the toilet at his house rather than telling the property manager and waiting. He said SIL was glad he can do things like that. That is true.

He needed to go to home improvement to get a part for his malfunctioning toilet and I wanted to return a few things and see if there was a replacement lock for the pation/sun room exterior door. I had tried many keys but none would turn the tumbler. The home improvement store was a wash out. Couldn't find products we were looking for although he did get the toilet part. We had much talking. He made comments that made me think he wanted to throw me and kitty into the street. I asked if he wanted me to pay him for the mortgage payment he did. He said no? He said he admits he was wrong about not getting realtor who would invest and take investment out of home sale as I had suggested back in Feb. (and was Mother's plan). He said there were times he wishes Father was around to strangle for leaving estate in shape it is? True, some things should've been done differently or more completely. I think we're OK.

After home improvement I took him to that new development I had visited. He thought much like I did about the houses. Crap workmanship. Crazy architects. Even crazier buyers! He liked my ideas of altering at least one of the houses to reclaim wasted space in the huge long driveway. He had some other ideas too. We both agreed only the top house was good--except the entry door being on the side!

We then looked at "open houses." One we looked at two weekends ago has sold! Very quickly for the market. The house was priced well though and in pretty good, though not perfect shape. I could say the same about me! There was house that surprised us both. It is on a quarter acre. The back yard is amazing and view looked on to canyon like this house could before canyon got filled by bastard developers. The house was very nice as well with many upgrades done in the early 90's according to the realtor. I was surprised it didn't have AC but otherwise I liked what I saw. That realtor was good! Brother asked her about sprinklers and sod. She thought price sounded high but in this market it wouldn't really help sell as long as there was curb appeal. I explained that right now there is dirt--everything is cleared. It is a blank slate just like new construction is how I think of it. :D

I didn't eat until after 8pm I think? That was not good. Body rebelled and I had to do laundry! *sigh* Oh, I got cat food and litter on sale! Yay for the kitty! I had thought I forgot (again) to close the security door when we left? I had. It was open? I was afraid kitty might have escaped into the wild? No. Kitty was good! She was still hiding in my bedroom from when Brother arrived. I gave pettings! She got let out for a bit. I would have been frantic over kitty. :/ *sigh*

What else? Don't know what plans will be next weekend. The light never did get put up. That's OK. If we remove (or have removed) "popcorn" ceiling then we will not want light up anyway! I should eat another meal... Brother says I lost weight but I think his estimate is too low! He did notice my walking shorts are too large for me. That is true. Even the smallest belt is too large now.

I will fetch fooding of some kind and loiter for the duckie online. I have other things to catch up on as well.

Neverending Day?

It is about 20 until 2pm on Friday. I am still up! Yay me?

I've taken two walks in the neighborhood today. One this morning and a later one this afternoon so I could clear my head and take photos. In between that I chatted with the neighbor a bit. I heard a noise outside so I investigated. He was sanding more patchwork that he is doing where termites attacked his house.

I had decided to paint the master bathroom on a whim? I had just put up my painter's tape and was cursing for losing my white waterproof caulking. I did eventually find it. It was mocking me for days under an empty grocery bag? Evil!

Oh! I took apart my brad nailer/nail gun to see if there was anything obviously wrong. There wasn't so I put the parts back together and tested it. *BANG* went a nail into my test scrap. *BANG* again. I guess I fixed it. Yay me. That was worthy of a free petting. Saved myself $50. I did briefly think I could get away with an exchange if I bought a new one but that was not so appealing. Not very ethical! I'll prolly end up the most ethical destitute person as the rate I'm going. Bad me?

What next? I found the old pix of Duckie's house! I will look at those again when I'm less tired. I think I need a small meal. It's so HOT today. Ugh. I put hook up and hung a tarp on the front porch to try to cut back the direct sun. Plus, if I had to be outside to saw wood or something I wanted some shade.

Instead I shower in my own sweat trapped in a window-less closet known as the master bathroom! It is small? Maybe 12 sq meters, maybe less? Anyway, I didn't paint the ceiling. I think I'll just clean it. There aren't the stains that the center bathroom had although I'm pretty sure the master bathroom was painted twice since the center was. Well, before I painted them this year I mean.

Kitty is confused and doesn't like the heat. She is lounging a lot. I don't blame her! I should lounge too but instead I take walks in mid-day sun on hot day! Mother would have told me to sleep. Now I am bored? It is h-o-t. Almost 3pm. Master bathroom is closed. Catbox is outside its door now while paint dries. This isn't the end of the Master bathroom painting. It might need a second coat and plus I have that vanity cabinet and moulding to paint. I don't think I'll do those today?

I will go fetch fooding...

Someone Must Hate Me?

It was evil hot in house as afternoon came and I opened the entry door. When sun 'shifted' enough I sawed moulding for master bath. Mother wanted me to do that for her. Father never got around to it when he put in ceramic tile. I was supposed to do the tile for him but he started while I was asleep! He could do some things but was going down hill. He didn't want to feel 'useless'. I had already finished the sink install for him. Not sure when this was. It was years ago, however.

Once she saw I had modest handyman skill... she asked. It was years after the tile install. The moulding would've been done this year with her new carpet, tile in the new master entry & painted bedroom.

So... anyway I was putting in floor moulding in master bath that I had cut this afternoon. By then it was early evening, maybe 6pm. I put fresh clip of nails into my nail gun and it stopped working! I got annoyed. Felt persecuted. Knew Mother might have said, "Stop for now; we'll get a new one tomorrow!" They are not that cheap ($50?) and this one is only a couple years old and not seen what I would call a lot of use. I'm still using my first box of nails! As much a I remember, it has not been dropped? I might take it apart to see if there is obvious problem with it. It had 1 year warranty. :/

While he was watering, neighbor convinced me I could hammer the gun's nails? So I used "needle nose" pliers to hold tiny nails while I used hammer! It was not easy. Bath is not roomy! I then did wood filler where there were gaps (walls are gay--not str8--so gaps happen even with good measuring & cutting).

Now I am online seeing good news from teh Duckie about gammaduckie but am starved! I will prolly loiter online a bit. Must pay evil cable bill or no internet! :D

I might do caulking. I put the moulding with a 'gap' in case there is a flood. Brother will probably say, 'Why did you do that? It sucks!'

Earlier today I made some calls and went online checking for more places to get estimate on lawn. You know this if you read the prior entry! But... I made a couple other calls. One wanted $65 for an estimate. If the estimate's not free, it's not for me! They do that so you'll feel obligated to use them because the fee goes towards project cost. Yet another place wanted $2500 for a complete landscape plan and that included no work, just a plan and pre-approved contractors. Pff.

So it's after midnight. I paid the cable bill. Anyway, I was wondering when the power bill is due. I go online and WTF? It suggests June's wasn't paid and July's was sent out and is due in three days! OK. I would know if I had gotten the power bill or not. WTF is going on here? First water company says, "OMG You didn't pay!" and I go online to see "OMG, maybe you did pay!" Now I see I'm not getting the power bill? That's insane. Something is definitely wrong here. I must investigate further!

OK, I think maybe the water bill thing is "true" but how I didn't pay for two months and still have water makes no sense (if true). I'll go to the bank tomorrow I guess so I can pay it next week before it is due. It seems if you make a payment online they stop sending paper bills! There's no option to change that. How stupid! You have to cancel your online pay account each time you use it so you keep getting paper bills. I've gotten only one email notice telling me there was a new water bill online and that was last week and my junk email filter marked it junk so I didn't see it. That doesn't explain May or June, however. For now, I'll assume I screwed up.

I'm not used to handling all the bill paying online and so forth. Mother was good bill payer. She would sit down once a month and pay all bills that were not setup as automatic pay. I used to pay each bill as it came in. That was good for me. Very easy. Now that I have more bills with Mother gone and money tightened, I got lazy and kept calendar to pay bills throughout month as needed? I think I will simplify my bills. I want to pay down my credit card. Student loan(s) are almost paid off. Might pay those just to get it off of the books? What else? Hmm... After those there is just monthly expenses: food, health care, water, power. Mortgage? It would be good to get health care via employer instead of paying so much out of pocket. That is $300/month. I could just go without! Or find cheaper plan? Maybe when I'm at 'ideal weight' I can get cheaper plan? Will keep that in mind... goal being to reduce health care expense which is higher than food, water & power!

On the not sending paper bills if you've signed up to pay a bill online, that isn't the case with the power bill though which has be wondering what's going on there. Crazy crap!

More Liars!

So I was set about getting more bids on the landscaping project (sprinklers front/back yards, lawn installed). I had two flyers of three. The third didn't mention a license number so it went into the bin. I checked online before calling to see what the status of the licenses was because I've got "sucker" tattooed on my face.

One had an invalid number on the flyer. Lying bastards! The other, well, the license was real but had expired probably the same year the flyer was put out--it wasn't a very new flyer.

So let's see where we are... the national company I was going to use doesn't service this area despite soliciting my business at the store close enough to almost spit at from the front lawn. Their major competitor doesn't do that work at all. So then I move to the flyers which have been left. Eliminate those not advertising a license number. Check the licenses. At this point I'm one for six. That one is a neighbor two homes north. I don't have his license info (yet) but it was just a 'ballpark estimate' and I know where he lives!

So if I'm going to get further estimates now I have to look online or in the phone book. What a pain! If people weren't lying assholes my life would be much less complicated.

No word from the duckie on gammaduckie's surgery yet... maybe today he will say something?

I think I missed my morning meds. Well, I basically know I did and I don't care. It's also too damned hot! The weather is evil.

Tuesday and Terrorists...

What is it about terrorists and the 11th day of a month? Other than the UK (7/7/05) train bombing, the Americans (9/11/01), Spaniards (4/11/04) and now the (East) Indians were all attacked on an 11th. Of course that doesn't take account of the attacks in Egypt or Bali...

Moving on... I stayed up late to loiter online with the Duckie. GammaDuckie was scheduled for major surgery. Hope things went (are going?) OK. I thought about them several times throughout the day.

Around 3pm I walked to make the mortgage payment. To my surprise there was no waiting at the bank. It's not like the old days where it was always crowded! I didn't see the homeless guy on my walk. Coming back I decided to detour to a new housing development and saw they had a model open. Well, I had little else to do except come back and eat a meal so I went for a look-see. The houses range from $600-800,000 (far beyond reason). For $600,000 you get three bedrooms. Yes. Three. But I'm getting ahead of myself. There was this mammoth black guy all by himself at the model. He easily weighed 400lbs (180kg). From my experience (and probably poor memory) usually new home developments have a rail-thin woman pitching the models. Perhaps this is a single they're looking for a particular market... affluent minorities from traditionally male dominated cultures. That would fit this community.

For some reason the entry door is on the side. I asked him if that was normal on the model since I had seen him through a door at the front of the house in the office. He said that was the fifth bedroom. That is the only bedroom on the first floor of any of the homes. Like a knot-head, as I toured I was thinking, "Mother would not like that," "I'll have to tell Mother about this..." It was instinct. Instinctually, I wanted a ground-floor bedroom for the infirm parent (grandparent) or guest. Ok, back to the home... the countertops were the same old beige granite. I noted the top cabinets were full cabinets while the bottom cabinets were just fronts and shelves so you could see the painted and textured wall at the back! This is criminal cost-cutting for $800,000 asking price!

There is no yard to speak of in the back. It's probably close to the size of a single car garage! There's even less space out front. There is, however, lots of driveway which the brochure describes as "courtyard!" On two of the models the driveway comes up the side of the house to the attached garage. In addition to a door from the house interior to the garage, there is a smaller sliding glass door to the driveway which is across from the kitchen so visitors will probably come in there rather than the regular entry.

One of these high priced models triggered a mild claustrophobic reaction in the downstairs area. Upstairs, one had a long hall with tiny windows on the right and a series of five doors on the left, it reminded me of a university building! At the end of the hall to the right was the master, positioned over the garage. Those five doors were a bedroom, laundry room, bedroom, bathroom and another bedroom. There was also a bizarre alcove that you would put either a tall faux plant or suit of armor (if it were small enough)!

Clearly the crack whores are still designing homes as I enjoyed the wasted space from one model to the next. The master suites all had separate toilet rooms from the shower, sinks and bathtubs. However, in once case there was a large open area next to the toilet with no obvious purpose! Still another had actually slipped a door to a small storage room in the toilet closet! The largest model, the five bedroom, had the walk-in closet at the end of the bathroom so all of your clothes can be steam cleaned by the foggy mists of your shower or bath! This is just not reasonable design. It's simply crazy.

The smallest home, three bedrooms, lacked space for the modest furniture that is in this house! There's a designated dining area but it can only handle a small four person table--forget anything larger! Oddly enough it seemed to have the largest kitchen. Perhaps your guests are meant to sit at the long bar as if they're at an all-night diner! Maybe I can get Brother to take a half-hour walkthrough.

OK, so I got out of there and walked up the street and saw the neighbor watering his lawn. We chatted a bit. Later he had his wife outside and I visited. I guess her health has slipped. There was a change of at least one medication so he has to keep an eye on her blood pressure. He didn't get into much detail but he had talked to the doctor about end of life, whether to go with dialysis and so forth. He said a couple things said scared him. I know Mother was thrown off kilter when she was told "for all intents and purposes you are a widow" all while talking about Father's care. When the end did come for him, she never did quite embrace widowhood until near her own unexpected end. I think that came when I reminded her she had done her duty--till death do us part, so far as many Christian faiths (she believed as a Catholic though was not formally*) are concerned she was free to date, remarry, just live until her own end...

Ok, where was I? I was going to lay down for awhile this evening but the neighbor invited me over. I thought I best go since I didn't know when I might get another opportunity. We caught the end of the "All Star" baseball game, then switched to Food TV and off to Ted Danson's "Becker" in syndicated repeats. Wasn't great TV but it passed the time. The grandson was over this evening. His all-star team won again. If they win this weekend, the next game take place out of state--pretty exciting way to cap off a "little league" career!

I'm loitering a bit to see if Duckie shows. I'll probably watch Jake 2... err... Kyle XY.

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* She (and Father) had been active in the altar guild and taught Sunday school for their Episcopal parish but left that church when they voted to ordain women when I was a toddler. Other folks in the guild didn't believe her threat that she would leave but the priest knew better. I don't know why we didn't join the Catholics but in those days this area was very underdeveloped. As it happens, when the SIL's church refused to marry her and Brother (for political reasons) they turned to Mother's old parish who did marry them. The family had been founding members. They did run a scam on the Church because they were shacking up, Brother was perhaps a bitter atheist at the time... of course now he's an evangelical so I guess things evened out.

Bloat and Boredom?

It is almost 11pm Monday. I feel bloated, tired and bored. I finished the faucet this afternoon. The tube went in OK and the pipes too although I had to rob two pieces from the old setup. No big deal. Kitty was hiding under Mother's bed. Poor thing. :/

I didn't make any calls or go pay the mortgage. Maybe tomorrow. I had been awakened in the night with a sudden cramp in my left calf! I thought I had dreamed that until I actually did get up. Grrr. It's always something! Anyway, master bath surfaces are empty. I can paint.

I also filled up one trash bin and recycle bin with stuff that's been in the garage. I've been in a pessimistic mood so I didn't save much. Last night I had made a virtual card for Vegas' birthday. He seems to have appreciated it.

I have eaten lightly: cereal, salad and some cheese-flavor crackers. Maybe I'll have a more proper meal. Or more cereal. Or something.

Will check out Ep 3 of Kyle XY. The pilot was OK. The second episode was lame. I figure if 3 is lame, I'll give up on it.

Sunday Brother showed up. I was outside. I had just gotten estimate on lawn/sprinklers. Brother was shocked at cost. It seemed reasonable to me for what the project was defined as being. Under $3000. Part of that is because Brother wanted sod which is grass pre-grown and put down in sheets as instant lawn. Very expensive option. Seeding is less expensive.

Anyway, I got Brother to remove the chandelier. He had to climb into ceiling crawl space. It took some effort to locate. He complained of heat. I thought it was warm but not too awful. I painted the old chandelier with "hammered finish" bronze paint Brother picked out at home improvement store. I think it looks better. The old finish was meant to be some kind of patina but was ugly and dated. The light is over 30 years old anyway. Now it looks fresher. I'm reasonably satisfied until I see it lighted. I have some concerns there which will have to be addressed when Brother is available again.

We did grocery shopping after quick stop at home improvement so I could fetch correct tube and miscellaneous things and he got called to work as I finished up groceries. He had to go deal with a broken van some 20 miles (32 km) away. Evil. I told him he makes mistake of answering phone! He is like Father. Father always was available to work. Brother gets hourly pay. Father was on salary so got nothing extra. I led Brother to consider demanding a rotating "on call" list so he is not always the one giving up weekends and other projects for work! Much Evil! Father worked so often that I really have no sense of him until he retired and took gravely ill. Father hated not working?

What else... it sounds like Brother and SIL already spent advance? SIL wanted him to get another advance? Brother said she was crazy?

I hope kitty likes the litter box. I cleaned it and filled it a little differently this time. She has been angry about it I think. I think duckie has me on block. Maybe he doesn't like litter box either.

I saw that he had gone out after 8pm so I asked if everything was OK. Neighbor said it took six hours at hospital for his wife's appointments and much was changed on her meds. He said he would tell me more when he had time to talk in more detail. That's too bad. I'm sure he won't be going to his reunion now with things changed like this. He'll want to be home to monitor her for changes in health and not go even for one, two or three days.

Maybe I will fetch more cereal and watch a film to relax?

Wish I Could Ask...

Someone pointed out an edited clip of (supposedly) 101 films all gay men should see over on You Tube. I was curious how many I could pick out. I was miserably bad but could name more than I've seen such as Caberet, Funny Girl and All About Eve. I'd like to have gotten Mother's view on at least some of the films. I used to accuse her of having seen every film made before 1980 because her knowledge of films bordered on ridiculous. She denied the charge, in case you wondered.

I have to say the list is B.S. since it includes Glitter. No way Glitter (Mariah Carey) can be on a "must see" list.

Of the 101, I've seen six (well, almost seven):

Auntie Mame - Frickin' brilliant comedy.
Basic Instinct - Entertaining psycho.
Beautiful Thing - Working class Brit coming out film.
Casablanca - Classic film.
Maurice - OK-ish? Don't waste your time.
My Own Private Idaho - Crap. Heaping crap!
Some Like It Hot - Partially seen. Might have it on DVD.

I'm feeling a bit drowsy and have a headache. Perhaps more blogging to come!

Doomed...?

I slept badly. Very sore for some reason. Took pain med, back into bed. Did OK but wasn't really comfortable. Ate around 4pm. Got another Netflix delivery for two blocks away. Took it to a post drop now the block. Neighbor and his wife were outside but they had creepy neighbor from across street bending their ear. I loitered a bit out in the front yard. They went inside. I tried to work on the plumbing. The leak keeps moving on me! Make it stop!!

It now leaks where the tube connects to the shutoff. I put teflon tape on it but the leak is now above the connection you screw on so the tube has to go. Leak is still a problem but the shutoff is working OK. I fed fish (poor fish... I'm a lousy caretaker!). Kitty got fresh water. I apologized to kitty for not finishing plumbing. She rolled over.

My mood is in the crapper. Very depressive. I'm going to feed myself more and see if that helps out.

So grandma came over for more plumbing help. I went over and tried to resolve the problem. Again with the kitchen but this time the sink won't drain. I never did successfully fix it. I took the "gooseneck" pipes out, cleaned them, and put them back. It's odd, it would drain once but then stop. I thought maybe it was related to the garbage disposal but blocking that didn't make a difference so I ran out of ideas, put things back and place and left. She's going to try Drano. That kitchen needs to be condemned. She wants to move because the landlady does nothing to fix things. Rent is $2000/month, but she's "section 8" housing which means taxpayers pay for rent. I don't know how they get away with not getting things fixed in that house like that. It's immoral!

Am going to neighbor's for awhile this evening.

It's A Kind Of Madness...

So I worked on the master bath for awhile last night. Today I woke up to water dripping on ceramic tile. Evil! One of the cutoff valves was not doing its task! Evil! Did I mention Evil?

So I turned off the water to the house. And tossed down a towel and went back to bed. Phone rang at some point but I didn't rush to get it. Probably wants to set up payment for estate bill by month's end. Evil.

This afternoon, I installed faucet, did hookup and discover Plink! Plink! Plink! Leak? Evil! Eventually I discovered it was the tube from the cutoff to the faucet leaking. Evil!

I have a replacement. But wait! It's the wrong size at the cutoff end! Evil! But I also have a new cutoff that matches! Much evil. :/

I move the good tube to replace the bad because if I replace the cut off it'll be very hard with the outgoing pipes from the sink in the way. Evil!!

Anyway, I have to decide do I replace cutoff and tub or got buy another tube? Or hang myself from roof? Barely eaten today. Mail was just one ad for Mother?

Neighbor might call tonight. If he does I'm going over? If he doesn't I'll probably torment self with plumbing? I wish Mother was here. *sigh*

Thar Be Fog!

There's fog outside, 1am. Nice. I have the front door open for some cool air. Food grows ever more spare. I stayed in bed later than I probably could've but it was warm and the cat wasn't tormenting me to get up.

I didn't get a lot done I guess but I did do some painting (vent covers) for the master bath, took out the old faucet, attempted to determine why the master toilet is sluggish... cat interruption (demanded petting). What else? I reconditioned the old hinged on one door for the master bath, I gave the medicine cabinet a full cleaning, cleaned the toilet twice, installed magnetic latch things so the cabinet doors close tightly, and put on a pair of handles. Oh, I also scrubbed the tile in the master bath and vaccumed up dust and random bits of cat litter. Maybe I did do some things. Outside, I edged the grass and sprayed some that is growing where it isn't wanted.

Might sleep "early" tonight. Well, not if the cat keeps meowing at me. Aww, she purrs! I am sucker for purring. So that's my day today. Oh, and I scanned a death cert for Brother. He's finally going to do the paper work to take over ownership of the policy Mother had on him.

I'm a bit drowsy. Not sure I want to sleep just yet though.

Independence Day.

It is 4th of July (ID4). Yay. Shuttle launched. Yay. I went to bed around 6am after talking to the Duckie. Was in bad mood last night. Not eating enough again I think. It is 6pm and am just now going to eat something. Bad me!

I didn't do anything much today. Pulled some weeds in the back, estimated out the stepping stone for the north side yard. The caulking looks evil in places because it is clear? I might get a tube of white to use in spots. Kitty is hiding, she wanted to go out but hoards of screaming children neighbors scared her and she ran inside. I don't blame her. The bins are out. Oh, I also went on roof and sprayed some lithium grease on the spinning vents. Of all the lubricants tried over the years that seemed to last the longest (vs. gear grease or multipurpose oil).

Sat outside with neighbor and his wife a little after I got off roof. Neighborhood has been pretty quiet today. He didn't mow his grass as planned. Might change faucet in master bath tonight if I stay up. Depends on how mean kitty is and if I do socializing? Heat is back after being not so bad yesterday.

Monday's matters...

Well, I didn't get up too early but got my errands done. I put flag out around noon and went to the bank. On the way, I took photos of houses in the area for ideas and just amusement. At bank the line was long! Deposited that unexpected check into estate account without problem. Walked to home improvement store. Fetched two light switches, caulking tape (why is it so expensive? grrr), new bath faucet and um... hmm, maybe that was all. No! Wait! I got shims for use when installing the French doors. I was going to get a water quality test kit but decided $10 was high for buying it today.

I then went to grocery to get a money order. I had to wait because that counter does the video rentals too. I was getting bored. I didn't get any groceries. By the time I was done my errands it was coming to 4pm but I took more photos on way back to house. I posted my money order in the mail today. I had gotten here before the mail man although he was on his route! Mail was mostly advertising crap for Mother. She doesn't want to buy jewelry or get new mortgage!

Later I climbed on the roof and cut the strings tying the "whirly bird" vent things so they can spin. Maybe it will help the house cool some. I removed a few decayed decorative shingles. I kept ladder out because I might go on roof for fireworks tomorrow night like in old days? Neighbor yelled over not to fall off. :P

When at home improvement, I priced bags of bark and stone. Stone is expensive there! Brother emailed. He agrees! He used to sell those things in one of his early jobs. He is stunned at their pricing? He thinks faucet I got is OK but I knew he would say that no matter what. He doesn't like the one in master bath. I guess it is tarnished?

I am bored tonight. Feeling hungry although I just ate. I hate holidays. People do weird things on holidays and aren't home? There will probably be crazy people with illegal fireworks too. Very annoying. Must get flag out earlier tomorrow.

It's about 10:20pm. WTF?? I was going to pay the supposedly unpaid water bill and I went to do online bill paying and the thing refreshed while I was looking away and is now says "Filed" next to the date. The website says filed status translates to bill paid by means other than online. I'm very confused.

It is midnight? I put down caulking tape on toilet and tub. I also caulked shower doors and assorted places in bathroom. I will now move on to kitty's bathroom (was Mother's).

Bookend Bats...

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Original black & white, non-mirror image by John Byrne.

Bloody Hell... (it's hot!)

So I could not sleep one minute last night. I went to sleep after 7am. Brother arrived around noon, about a few minutes before. He left at 2pm because he got called to work! Work is evil and demanding!

He did swap refill value in master bath toilet. I played helper, fetching things. I have not inspected yet.

We were going to home improvement store and stopped at an Open House. It is not this model but better model! Two-stories. Wouldn't mind owning but way too expensive? Yard is tiny though. There is lot of work that wasn't done there. This house will look better I think? Floor was very squeaky upstairs! Paint, flooring there cost $5K to have done. It is better for me to have done these things! It was at open house that Brother got a call from SIL that work had called?

Brother did not take dresser but I gave him his insurance paperwork and gift for SIL's B-Day which I hadn't wrapped (oops). I couldn't even find a bow. I also gave him two toys from my cereal boxes for the kids to abuse. He took the buffer so he can work on cleaning the vehicles. And he refilled the window washer fluid in the truck.

It is very hot. I am tired. I need to food. I think I will go outside. Have not seen kitty since Brother arrived today.

Eventually kitty revealed herself. She hides well! That is a good kitty? Anyway, Brother was annoyed at all the requests he'd gotten about bringing the dresser. He has been legitimately busy? And he said he was going to ask for the dressers back anyway when they didn't want them again. I guess dresser is staying? After Brother left, I did two projects.

First, I fixed the catch plate for the storm door to the back yard. Until now you could just tug on the "locked" door and it would pop open. Now you can yank and it sounds like you are going to pull a wall down on yourself! That is more fun!

I also replaced the pneumatic auto-closer for the storm door. It has been useless for years and years and I got a replacement with Mother a year or two ago but I hadn't installed. Mother was going to get new storm door too. Anyway, I installed it. I had to make a few "bridge" modifications because the new one would not fit in the door jamb so I used the old part there, and the new parts otherwise. I tested it, it worked so well the curtains on the door flew off when it slammed closed! I made an adjustment and changed the new pin with a nut-bolt because the pin would not stay secure in the old part. Door works very well! Mother would be pleased. I scraped a knuckle when I was fetching tools so it was good project!

Kitty went outside to get cooled off in the evening. Neighbor brought his wife out awhile, I chatted with them and then came inside. I listened to radio after 8pm and experimented with computer coloring. Should be sleeping but need food and not ready for sleep. It is still warm.

Saturday? Feels Like Sunday

No brother, no email. I called because check came for Mother from bank. Some kind of refund on her credit card but doesn't say what account or why. Over $200. Brother knew nothing about why either. Still, it's good for something at least.

He is taking Mother's dresser tomorrow! I cleaned it out and the top. Got lump in throat! Apologized to Mother because I was going to make us custom Clay Aiken fan T-shirts and they didn't get made. :/ Dresser was imported from Aus! There is stamp! I didn't know that. I can't ask more about how it was purchased. I just know that Father got the set. Mother didn't like much? Kitty is in here meowing. Dunno if she's upset or wants to go out or whats hairball gel. I have dresser standing on end so it can he hauled out with more ease. Room still smells of Mother?

Might go visit neighbor tonight. Am a bit behind schedule since I had to clean out dresser. Brother says he will come in morning? I didn't see if landscape guy did measurements. I was at neighbor's a bit troubleshooting his Internet access. He had called for help. His house was no cooler than here? Heat is evil! While I was working on his computer, he got wife up. She was weaker than usual. That is bad sign? What else is new? Oh, neighbor gave me 2 liters of Diet Coke as gift? That was nice. I need things to drink. Probably should do groceries tomorrow with Brother. Otherwise transport will be me walking or begging neighbor for a pickup! :D

Food is warm. Must eat. More blog later?

I ate food, then went to neighbor's for awhile. Watched food show, then L&O Special Victim. I had seen first one, second I think I had not seen before? Or not seen often! Neighbor gave wife cereal in other room. Later, I asked her how it was, she said, "Good" and asked how mine was (I didn't have any) and I said it was fine? She has been more easily confused today. Not a great sign. Hopefully it is transient but it might just be progression. Their grandson won his "All Star" game so he will have another game next weekend. That is good but that means he will be over there this week (because of practices I guess) meaning neighbor has another mouth to feed, etc. Very stressing given his wife's state and how "mothering" he is? I figure he will skip going to his 50th(?) school reunion in a couple weeks. He should go but he is locked into 'caregiving' mindset. Feel guilt for being away two days! Their daughter would be staying over to do caring. I have not said I could help her if something went badly? Maybe I will? He probably wouldn't presume.

About the dresser, I had sudden notion of stealing drawer fronts! HAHA. I am evil? It is hot! Even at 2:30am! Wonder if Duckie will be online... I will wait a bit and see.