Wasted Wednesday

Well, I basically hid in bed throughout the day. I just didn't feel good. Later in the day I felt better. I cleaned some things out of the bedroom in case it was an environmental irritant or something. I watered dead lawn. A realtor whose open house we visited on Sunday dropped of a package of materials. She did a report on the market and comparable homes and their strategy and what to do for improving home for sale time. She thought yard was "OK" and expected worse from my description of it being dead. Well, the grass is dead but I've removed everything else! And some grass is not dead. And there is still something growing in a set of flower boxes. I guess it is OK.

Tonight I was going to paint Mother's room but emptied her closet instead. Her clothes fit in one box. I hadn't realized so many of the things she'd already parted with. I felt choked up in my throat but wasn't really. I noticed things still packaged or with their sales tags attached. Of three family members' passing, this death is the biggest a royal pisser for me. "A life interrupted" was how Brother described it to someone just after it happened.

He's a bastard making me do this for him. Now, I helped with Father's stuff for Mother but that was different. She was there, directed it and we did it together. We also did that a mere week after he passed away too. Brother is very avoidant about the whole thing. I don't blame him, I might be that way too if I wasn't living here. I'm not sure what I want to do with two of her leather coats. I didn't know she still had her old fur. I'm afraid to give that way because I don't know it would be appreciated rather than seen as some kind of crazed animal rights thing. Well, the SIL has no business in it so I guess it'll be given away. That's what Mother would do.

The leather coats were purchased with my input and she wore them on outings to concerts we took in so in that sense they have a bit of sentimental value to me. I'll probably store them until a later date.

I'm still battling myself over financial things... do I buy Brother out and buy the estate's debt or just leave the house behind and try to start fresh somewhere else? In the past day or so I've been leaning towards an exit strategy. I think I'll move forward on that assumption. It might give me motivation. Or something.

Food is finally warm. Now I eat. More "Healthy Choice" frozen food. At least I'm not being piggy.