Bah. Another Weekend!

So it's Saturday now around 7:30pm. Brother's supposed to come over tomorrow. We'll see. I had a crazy thought lounging in bed and that was that I wanted to keep this house. I was imagining way I could get a loan to buy out brother's interest and pay off the estate debts. I'm on the verge of losing my grip on reality at times! I think it was probably the lack of food in me but I had all kind of crazy ideas of how to keep the house.

I woke up about every hour again last night. Ridiculous crap! And I had yet another dream involving buses.

Anyway, I got outside probably around noon and got that other flower box sorted and did a bit of painting this afternoon. I'm down to just half of the fence along the far end of the driveway. Right now that's kind of blocked by lemon tree remains but I'll get to work on it and that will take care of the fence painting and leave me with about one full gallon and a half-gallon left. I was going to paint the mail box but I decided to say, "F- it." I decided to leave it silver. Brother doesn't like it? He can get a replacement!

Got a bill for my life insurance and more loan offers for Mother. I paid the phone bill. When I was nearly at a reasonable stopping point on the painting the neighbor's visiting daughter walked over and asked if I could take a look at her dad's computer. So I did that for about an hour or so after I got a little cleaned up. I ended up coming back here and taking a PC over and back again and getting a monitor to take next door. I was just going to take a laptop but couldn't find my adaptor for monitors. Anyway, by process of elimination I figured out his monitor is dead. He's sure it's 5-7 years old. Not great news sure but as he said he can move to a flat panel now. He did help me bring my stuff back which he didn't have to.

I'd love to go next door this evening but his grandson is over and I don't want to be a distraction. I'm feeling a bit caged in this house. I want desert damn it. Something sweet. I don't know why I've had those sweet-tooth cravings since I've not been a bit sweets eater. Must be something lacking in my diet.

I want to lay down for a nap tonight so I'm rested if or when Brother shows up but don't want to squander a perfectly reasonable evening. I think the urge to nap is both my body saying it's tired and my brain saying it needs an escape. Maybe I'll dream about buses. That's probably four or five dreams in a row involving buses. The cat has been quiet today. I need to buy her food and the freezer will probably be empty this week. I have figured out my finances to get me through May OK. I don't know where the money will come from for June but at least I know I have some resources available to utilize.

I hope the insurance pays so I can stop having to think about who to pay, what to sit on, how much to buy, etc. I might even take a quick trip just to recharge my draining self. Not sure where I'd go. Vegas is not in my most gracious light right now but I'd get to see the boyfriend perhaps and see if that's actually a city I could affordably live in. If my uncle does move in June, I could perhaps visit with them when they're settling in Tennessee. If insurance declines to pay, my life will get much more complicated and the opportunity to recover will not come until maybe as far away as next year. I hope it doesn't come to that. I'm already feeling run down but keep doing things to avoid the inevitable mind-games over Mother's passing which come when I have idle hands.

Maybe I should flee to Aus and hide Duckie's basement with the snakes and spiders!