Slow Going

Didn't blog Friday. Other than running some numbers and taking an early night, not much happened. Vegas won't be available now until at least the 11th. Some neighbors in back had a party last night which was pretty loud; not enough to wake the dead. Cat spooked a couple times in the night.

Woke up startled today. Weekends are unnerving. I think, "Oh, I'll go into room X and sort things out," and just not do it yet. I'm wrestling with feelings of being overwhelmed. Monday's realtor visit will be instructional. Chatted with Dutch Tommie and he cautioned me about over doing it. I'm pretty 'easy' and can see myself biting off more than I can chew. Ought to have my brother's real physical involvement; Mother would (and did) say 'help' is a word in a dictionary.

It's fair to expect his involvement if only because pay out from the home sale will be the same for us both. It's also understandable he's not available a lot due to his working and having taken on a newborn. Understandable doesn't make it palatable. Thus why I feel blessed if Vegas can come over and help me organize and trash. It's clear that I'll be in very difficult financial shape if no insurance money is available by month's end. Should happen, though. I'm skeptically optimistic. I'm still battling a fight-or-flight instinct with urges to run-and-avoid. Been talking to the house/Mother and the cat looks at me wondering who I'm talking to. She's in Mother's room right now. I told her again I feel bad more wasn't known sooner. Now she's yowling.

I have done lots of pre-thinking about the next 6-12 months. I'd like to avoid apartment living but I'll take it if it's the right thing short-term. I'd like to actually be able to move into a place but it seems bizarre to move into a home, accept a mortgage until I know where I want to be. I looked at what's in the Tennessee town my uncle's moving to. It's dirt cheap to buy housing but there's just not much there in terms of infrastructure. Mind you, I'm used to city (ok, suburban) living.

I'm liking the idea of moving into Duckie's basement (except he doesn't have one).

Food was pretty good, a balsamic chicken and rice. The rice was a bit watery but it filled the hole. Today is the neighbor's wedding anniversary. Think I'll have an early night and try to be on late to chat.