Still Awake?

Yes I am. It's 8:40am. I had an up and down night. I never did make those cookies. I got a bug up my butt and went to the grocery this morning around 6:30. Along the way I rescued an abandoned shopping cart which I promptly abandoned out front of the store for another. I was on the verge of going to bed but somehow decided enough was enough and to just get the grocery out of the way. Of course, along the way, any passersby could see me verbally sparing with myself whether to detour to the house or not. In the end, I did not. It didn't make sense and would've added probably two miles to my trip. I decided Mother would've said, "Take care of yourself first. You don't own the House, I don't own the House, go to the store!" Sound advice.

The store was empty except for a few scattered employees and lots of stock. (Kitty is getting on my case for being off schedule right now but I think I talked her down from her rant.) Where was I? The store. I looked at canned goods and battled with myself over the "sale" prices and concluded I could decide at the end of my trip to come back to the aisle if I wanted. I did and picked up cans of chili to go with my cans of raviolis. 80 cents for raviolis! I wasn't passing that up. The chili was gawd awfully high at $2/can but it was cheap for the grocery store. Along my trip I think I remembered most of what I needed or wanted. I checked the toothbrushes. I wanted a cheap one to help me clean my keyboard. Wow. Even the store-brand was $1.80! No, wait, I spy a kid's pair of brushes for $3. Last second I spied a two-pack of "travel" toothbrushes for $2.49. OK, sure I could've got one brush for $1.80 but I'm always going to need another toothbrush, right? Two for $1.25 is a bargain! I snatched up some dental gum and mouthwash (citris flavor). There was a woman attempting to stock the shelves and I kept coming back into the aisle when I remembered another item to look for. This time it was Tylenol or something like it. Sorry, I'm not paying those prices even for the generic! Such is the evil of grocery store markups.

I didn't get Nutella. It was almost $5 for a tiny jar. I'll check somewhere else. I looked at the peanut butters. I like the store brand. Of course they actually have three (or more) under their name. I have to ask myself, just how nasty are the peanuts that go into the super cheap peanut butter? I'm talking cheaper than the "normal" store brand by 50 cents. Mother, in her misbegotten youth, was a food chemist and helped develop store-brand versions of the market leaders. I wish she was around to tell me more stories. Perhaps it's an irony that she was a brand-loyalty shopper in general. Maybe it's because she had that luxury or maybe she just felt at her age, damn it, I'm going to eat what I enjoy. Yeah, it was probably the latter. I always annoyed her when I'd stand there and debate whether it's worth saving ten cents. She hated that I'd fuss over things like that. Sometimes the cheaper brand was satisfying and sometimes it was putrid. Mostly she'd just saying, "Oh for Heaven's sake! Get what you *LIKE*!" Sometimes I would.

Today was a bit of a tribute-shopping. Haagan Dazs was on sale. Ok, it was a crappy sale. Two for $7. But, just before getting into the check-out line, I decided to buy it. I also bought more cookie dough. Bloody hell, it was $1! You can't pass that up! I made sure to get one of the $1 cookie doughs that hadn't passed their "Best By" date. Many were a month past and one flavor was two months over! Crazy, lazy store. I wonder if Nestle know what they're doing. I had made cookies from dough I'd forgotten in the fridge until a month past the "Best By" date and the damned little things stayed almost square! It's one thing for me to make that goof at home but the store should *not* be selling that "expired" product. It's a liability issue just waiting for the right lawyer.

I trolled the frozen section and, damn it, when I got back and loaded the freezer saw I'd gotten a couple varieties mixed in that I didn't want! Ugh. The walk back seemed rather long but I hadn't taken the route in that direction before. The hill is much more imposing going back down. I picked up some juice. I wasn't really in the mood to pick up soda. Diet versions tend to annoy my stomach and regular versions aren't really good for a person to drink on a regular basis. I need to work that out. I got a bottle of Cranberry that claims to be 100% juice. It was on sale. Only $2. Just to compare I got the one from concentrate as well. I don't do fruit juices much because I tend to burn out quickly on them and they ferment on me. My stomach doesn't care for apple juice although apples themselves and apple sauce have never been a problem.

Cereal was a pain in the butt. I swear there's a cartel of cereal price fixers. $8 for Cheerios? What the hell is that all about? I ended up getting a small bag of the store-brand corn flakes for $3. I hate that store. It's so damned expensive. Yes, I have an alternative but this was closer and I knew it was open at that hour. I'll just continue to look elsewhere for cereal that isn't at platinum prices. There was a coupon machine in the frozen aisle spitting out coupons. Since I was buying the product, I took a pair of coupons. I didn't really look to see the requirements. I think it was cents off on 3. Fine, I had more than that. What I did notice is the coupon expired last month. Well, hell, I thought. If they haven't changed the damned machine, I'm going to offer the coupons at the register. It's all computerized and I've seen coupons rejected before. The system took the coupons. I guess expired food isn't the only think OK in that store. *shakes head*

I probably could've saved more if I'd gone to the other store. Damn it. Maybe next time. Or I'll finally order online and never leave the apt complex again.

I think my delayed sleeping is catching up with me. It's about time to pass out. I might go up to the office and get some tea. I went earlier but it wasn't open yet. I mailed my peanut butter jar lids from the recall finally and wasn't sure I could put them in the normal mail slots. I had planned to leave the packet with the office out going mail. Not being open, I decided to see if I could get it into a mail slot and was successful without losing any fingers or toes.

I wonder what the cat is up too. She's been far too quiet.

The @#!% Plane! The @#!% Plane!

Doing laundry. Dryer is taking forever. Kitty is on the sofa being a look out. I got my slipper fixed. There was a small hold in the toe. I broke out the sewing stuff and patched it up.

Yes, really.

I've got an ugly headache tonight. I need to eat but I'm about as much in a mood to eat as duckie would be Rosie's mistress. Didn't bother with live TV tonight.

"If You Want It To Be Good Girl" from Backstreet Boys just came on the streaming radio. It's the best thing I've heard in an hour. Nick growls in this one.

More later if the mood strikes.

Here I am again. The mood struck but the blow wasn't fatal. I just read Hollywood is planning to remake "Fantasy Island" again. It tried a TV remake once in the 90's with Malcolm McDowell in the Ricardo Montalbán part of Mr. Roarke.

What grand suave and debonair casting have they him in this film attempt?

Eddie Murphy!

I wish I were kidding.

Idol Surprise?

Ok. The voting public are insane. Sanjaya made the Top 12. That's just crazy.

No surprise on Jared. He had some singing ability but wasn't any 'wow' and while he would perform, it didn't always match the song. His over-used grin was pure lounge performer. Not a loss. Except, well, he should've stayed longer than Sanjaya.

I don't even remember Sabrina. That's a bad sign and why she's gone.

The talentless, bitchy Antonella got cut. I think Simon gave people cover in not voting for her by saying last night that she'd weathered the scandalous photos controversy well. Thank you, Simon.

The big shock, really, is Sundance Head being cut. Wow. Yes, "Jeremy" was butchered, but he was clearly among the more talented guys.

There are pre-Idol performance clips of Blake Lewis ("B-Shorty") on YouTube. He's probably not been "discovered" since some of the stuff is fairly experimental and not even close to what would land a record deal. He's clearly talented and has his own thing going on. I think he should work on his vocals, in particular using his falsetto. He employs vocal effects in his act so he can get away with slips a bit more than in the Idol realm. I think, if he's willing to go mainstream in the way he's melded his style to Idol, he could be very, very successful.

The Week So Far, An Update

Just noticed this bit of news, Actor John Inman, Mr. Humphries of "Are You Being Served?", has died in London aged 71. Mother and I used to watch that on public broadcasting now and then when we needed a laugh. Honestly, I expected he'd have been older.

I had another house dream. I've lost track at the number so far. This wasn't so bad. It was a bit odd. Mother and Father, I think, had bought the house or something or they'd just decided on a remodel. I can't remember. Or don't want to. I only remember there were things that weren't liked and somehow I was to work on them.

Ugh. Damned IM sound made me jump in my chair.

What else. I had tried to refill meds online. The damned system said I hadn't activated my account. I'll have to phone, ask for a new activation which means waiting a week for postal mail. So, next, I tried doing it on the phone. I'm just using a cell now, not a landline since moving to control expenses. I called, the automated system wouldn't let me specify my mailing address. It said call back at 7am. I passed out around 6:30am. I woke later and called. It took over 17 minutes to talk to a person. Tick-tick-tick. So much for controlling costs. That did get the address changed, however. Maybe I won't run out of meds before the refill gets here. We'll see.

I had no postal mail today. Not even an advertisement! No word from Brother or neighbor in email. Tonight I watched Idol. The season is lame but you already know that. There was one stand-out: Melinda Doolittle; she'll probably win. I like Blake. He's a bit Timberlake with the beatbox thing but he doesn't irritate me like Mr. JT has since the NSYNC years. Why is Lance Bass writing an autobiography?

I did some flip-watching and caught "Criminal Minds" (story was competing serial killers), something on 700+ lbs people, the Bravo reality show Top Design (lame garage challenge) and bits of Wedding-something debuting on Fox after and America's Next Top Model on CW. I don't know that I was entertained by any one show that much. Other things I've seen this week include the Idle guys, some Law and Order, CSI: Miami, Heroes (on hiatus until end of April) and The Black Donnellys (organized crime drama) which no one seems to be watching.

I'll skip the Idol results show. It'll be old news before it airs and I don't really know what's on Thursdays. Maybe I'll look. I may do groceries today. New sale cycle. It's 5am and I'm feeling a mood to go so maybe I'll get moving before 6am and be done before 8am. Or I'll just decided to give it up and sleep because I can't wait for another house-themed dream.

Pork Roast, Anyone?

Can't you just picture having future in-laws over and serving one of these as a roast with apples in the mouth? Err mouths?

Manna for the Soul?

I give you the grilled cheese:



I had a difficult time sleeping. Yes, another freaking house-related dream. No need to get too specific but Brother accidentally dragged Father to his death under a pickup truck. I woke myself and said, "Why the hell I am having this dream?" Kitty was non-plussed. So was I, really; Father's been dead for years now.

Anyway, I made grilled cheese; I hadn't had grilled cheese in years. I'd been weaving in and out of a craving for grilled cheese since Neighbor had mentioned making it for his wife. I finally did it. This was the first use of the gas range at the apt. The first one was not so successful so for the second I grilled the pieces of bread before adding the cheese and that worked out well. I have a sandwich maker. Ok, two. One is in storage. The one at the apt needs cleaning so I used the small frying pan instead.

The grilled cheese was more satisfying than anything else I've eaten since I moved in. I don't know why. Maybe it's memories of grilled cheese growing up. Or memories of grilled cheese on the Buck Roger's 80's TV show. Or all of the above. Anyway, here's to an insanely simple bit of 'home cookin'.

New iTunes + Quicktime

Apple's released an update to iTunes (and Quicktime).

* Ejecting an iPod from Windows Explorer or the Windows notification area (system tray) using the "Safely Remove Hardware" feature may corrupt your iPod. To always safely eject an iPod, choose Eject iPod from the Controls menu within iTunes. If your iPod becomes corrupt, selecting your iPod in iTunes and clicking Restore in the iPod's Summary panel should return your iPod to a working condition.
* iTunes may display text or graphics incorrectly on your screen. Resizing the iTunes window should correct this issue.
* Contacts from Windows Address Book may not sync with iPod.
* iTunes remains unsupported on 64 bit editions of Windows, including Windows Vista and Windows XP x64.

There's a 3rd party plug-in for which lets you sync an iPod from WMP 11.

Housewives. Brothers and Sisters.

I wasn't going to watch Desperate Housewives live tonight but kitty was sitting on the sofa back waiting for me to turn on the TV. It was pretty good. More Andrew than probably the rest of the season combined. I stayed tuned for "Brothers and Sisters" which someone had asked if I'd watched it (I don't remember who) and I hadn't before. Well, I noticed a few names I recognized and gave it a shot.

Rob Lowe annoys me. He has no acting chops or he's always playing the same character. I can't tell. How many years has he played a political character? They had a faux Perez Hilton-type, an Asian guy, and borrowed a detail of how Lance Bass' mother found out he was gay: by reading it online (she Googled him with regularity). There are some passable actors in the show but overall it's just a haphazardly done soap. The characters annoyed, there was almost no emotion actually on the screen. It was like folks were reading their lines. I think I'll pass on watching it live in the future. Ok, some of that might have to do with the three painful "Wow" Windows Vista ads. If I get terminally bored (likely enough), I'll stream online and waste the network's bandwidth.

It was nice to see Emily Van Camp ("Everwood") and I guess Bat Getty is clean and gave up his underground band or whatever. Nice to see he's holding an acting job again. Sorry Marc & Greg, I don't care for the show. Kitty left the sofa for her chair. I don't think she liked it either.

I had to take the evil toilet to task again. Cleaned it. Kitty supervised. Two days. No, maybe one day, no house-related dream. I think last night it was house related but I am blocking it out. It's almost time for groceries again. Duckie wants me to try online ordering. I might? That is very lazy but I'm not in the mood to go up to the stores. I'm bitter and hermit-like, as if Osama in his cave!

From the "What the Hell?" Box…

From the "What the Hell?" box I give you this story:

Pupils up to the age of 11 are being bottle-fed and mothered in school as part of a radical new move to address poor discipline LINK

---

Yahoo lured me in with a headline that Jennifer Hudson won an NAACP Image Award. Not surprising but I was curious to see what she may have said. That wasn't interesting. What caused me to shake-my-head was seeing Isaiah Washington won an NAACP Image Award! Hello?

Wikipedia has this summary of the trouble he's been:

In October 2006, news reports surfaced that Washington had grabbed co-star Patrick Dempsey by the throat. It was reported that the altercation was prompted by or related to Washington's use of a derogatory epithet (faggot) toward costar T.R. Knight and his sexuality... [In January] After the show won Best Drama, Washington, in response to press queries as to any conflicts backstage, said that he had never referred to Knight as a "faggot".

He won an NAACP Image Award.

He's promoting "The ideals of human and civil rights." Surrre…

Will anyone else notice this poke in the eye?

Which One Are You?

Wal-Mart has decided their world of customers breaks into three kinds, which do you think you'd be:

There are “brand aspirationals” (people with low incomes who are obsessed with names like KitchenAid), “price-sensitive affluents” (wealthier shoppers who love deals), and “value-price shoppers” (who like low prices and cannot afford much more).

Lucky Me?

I heard from Google: Your blog has been reviewed, verified, and cleared for regular use so that it will no longer appear as potential spam. So yay me.

I had another irritating dream. This time there was Neighbor and problems with water at the house. A leak. Work that was done, an added line or something crazy. It was a mess. And Neighbor had a problem too. There were people obvious doing things to the house they shouldn't. And later in the dream there was a bald-head guy in white from Aus trying to get into the house through the front door. Just trying to wander inside! Obviously there's a lot of anxiety pent up from the house being empty of inhabitants, save one fish. I haven't any idea when they'll get moved in. And going up to the house makes me crazy. I don't live there. Hell, I'm still getting email reminders about its bills which aren't mine. I'm feeling suffocated. I have made up a box of stuff that shouldn't have come to the apt at all like spare bath tile, mother's pajamas and so on.

Duckie has not sent death. Today's mail was a the electric bill I paid last night and an ad for phone service. Yay me? Now that I got voice mail working again, no one's calling. Lovely, eh? Idol axed two guys (Nick & AJ) who were OK. While not amazing but probably should've stayed. In the usually irritation it kept one (the effeminate, small-voiced, Wacko-Jacko-styled Sanjaya) who should've been ditched long before this stage. I'll post so I can find something Duckie asked for--I did and he had already forgotten what it was. *sigh*

How Annoying?

Apparently blogger thinks this is a "spam blog" the defining link of which is broken. Fabulous. And yes, this isn't the post I had begun writing. That went down with another lock-up thanks to Safari's loving the new "non-beta" Blogger. Right. Sure. Well, I'm irritated. My neck, eyes and skull ache today.

I tuned in many hours of TV tonight. I don't know why, I just wasn't in the mood to chat and my regular talk program host is on holiday. I watched Idol. Was girls night. They were generally pretty bad. There was one or two who had any business on stage and that's about it. Really of 20 contestants this week I'd have kept maybe six. None of them grab me like Clay had in '03 or Anthony did a few years later. I'm sick of the nameless-faceless R&B clones. Go home, girls. It's boring. To paraphrase that jerk James Carville, you can drag a dollar bill through a black church anywhere in America and hear singing even better. He was talking trailer parks and loose women.

Did I mention my eyes, neck and skull ache? I usually wake up that way. At least with the neck part. The eyes come later. I did flipping during Idol. I watched a bit of "Friday Night Lights" and might watch a bit online. Later I watched "Criminal Minds" which was a lame New Orleans / Katrina / Jack-the-Ripper story. I flipped during it as well. This time it was bits of Becker and more Idol and during all of those some "Americas Next Top ModeL" because I had been lead to believe "One Tree Hill" runs on Wednesdays. I guess not? After this I watched some design show marathon on Bravo. The judges are morons. The orange and green room was vile and had almost zero storage. The evident runner-up had no voiced drawbacks. They did at least kick off the right person.

What else happened today. I paid the rent. And power bill. Let's forget the power bill for a bit. The rent. I went up to the office, check in hand. They had a notice it was closed for an "off-site" meeting. I decided to experiment and use the drop box. Well, as anticipated, when I called later this afternoon to confirm they got the check I did get seven minutes of "it's lost" / "not here" which pleases me no end! Seriously, it was complete crap. No, duckie, it wasn't Dixie. It cost me all those cell minutes of dead air but it was finally found supposedly stuck to another check. Right. I wasn't a complete fool, I did make a copy first. Anyway, I'll be sure to pay in person from now on.

The last time I was up at the office to talk about the oven, some older woman was getting a song-and-dance about her missing check. I got email about the power bill. I paid. Was 25 bucks or so. I also got email about the house power bill. I guess it wasn't paid last month. They're never moving in, I swear. I'm not paying it. I've been here.

Grrr. It's club night for Duckie. Another reason to me annoyed. Kitty is kneading my forearm. Yay me? I need read CompUSA is closing lots of stores. All of them within 200 miles of me appear to be closing up. That's depressing. Not that they haven't screwed themselves by moving further into consumer electronics but on a personal historic note there was a lot of history with them, shopping with different people, purchasing my VAIOs, first laser printer and flatbed scanners, and visits with Mother including opening day about 20 years ago. Change sucks.

Been a few bad nights of sleep. I've had folks coming into the house in my dreams, dreaming about an old neighbor who moved in just after my parents moved to the house, and last evening's dream I carried Mother and kitty back to the house from Neighbor's after a long evening. Not a chance for rest.

Kitty has been weird too. On Tuesday she hid under some covers pulled off the bed. I'd seen her do that a bit but never well into the evening. Not sure what sparked it. It did make me nervous.

Did I mention my cookies turned out crunchy? Yeah, not worth doing expired dough in the future. I'll preheat 15 minutes in the future although the manual online says 10 minutes if there's no indicator light. My experience, at least with even new electric ovens, is 10 minutes may not be enough. Sure, it's a gas oven but a few extra minutes preheating can't hurt.

The cat is still mutilating said left arm. Purr on full throttle. She watches a bit of TV, then hid awhile and came back later to lounge on the back of the sofa a lot like she used to when the two of us, with Mother would watch shows. I wish like hell Mother was here. I keep having more and more moments of "Oh, I want to tell her that or ask her this." It's maddening and not in an angry sense. I think I'll do cereal and see if this will post.

Now what?

Ok, so it's just turned over Monday. Woo for JHud and Helen Mirren at Oscars. I so want to vomit. I'm just not feeling good. And now I'm worried someone stole Mother's purse. Or, well, the last purse she used. A bright red purse I picked out. I thought it was on her dining chair in the apt with her red sweater. But when I was cleaning up for kitty I didn't see it. I looked about the apt. and don't see it. I guess it's possible it's at the house but brain is fighting me, screaming out only bad vibes. Can't go up to the house because of oven triage. If I had a sidearm I'd want to blow my head off to escape the annoyance of life. I'll have cereal instead. :(

Freaking HELL!

Well, I was finally forced to "convert" to the new Blogger. I had to create a new Google account. Evidently they aren't smart enough to just grandfather their Blogger accounts automatically to Google ones. I tried to post and the browser locked up. So we'll see if this works. (It didn't, Safari locked up again when I was ready to post.) Oh, and maybe the stupid blogging widget won't be such crap and will work. Sure. Right.

An hour ago I remembered I had unused cookie dough in the fridge that I was going to bake up fo rmy brithday and wondered if it was past use by date. One is. Do I care? Not really. I turned the oven on to pre-heat. The range and oven here are natural gas-powered, not electric as I'd alway sused. While I was putting the dough on the baking paper, I saw what I thought was puffs of smoke from the oven. Suddenly I have THREE smoke alarms screaming at me. Jeebus. Needless to say, the cat was not imperssed and hid under the covers while I resolved the issue. I opened the doors, a window and put on the ceiling fans while turning off the oven. Look, seriously, rent is just under 2K per month. That's almost like real money. Since I moved in I've battled a toilet, had the apartment exterior painted twice, been drowned by a kitchen sprayer that doesn't always turn off, had to replace two of three smoke alrm batteries, a thermostat battery, had a garage door latch stick... avoided a garage break-in... now discover the oven is evil. UGH. I haven't used the dish washer. I don't dare! All this I'm still not all moved in with stuff from the house that Brother's sending over! *smacks head on edge of desk*

Update

Well, it was coming. One fish has passed on. The red one, the beta Mother picked out, was on the bottom of its tank when I was at the house today. It was sad but not surprising. It seemed to have been partially paralyzed for more than a month.

The blue one got a cleaned tank. It's still going. I will probably bring it to the apt since brother is not interested in it.

Peanut Butter Recall: Salmonella Alert

Some jars of "Peter Pan Peanut Butter" (and some Great Value brand) with product codes starting 2111 have been known to cause illness from salmonella. All jars starting with that code are under recall. Here's what maker ConAgra says:

"If consumers have this product, they should discard it, but save the product lid. For a full refund, consumers must return the Peter Pan Peanut Butter or Great Value Peanut Butter product lid along with their name and mailing address to ConAgra Foods, P.O. Box 3768, Omaha, NE 68103." Recall info.

I have two jars with this code. One I've already been using. Yay me.

Shameless Plug

An online pal has a streaming station, PrideRadio. A mix of 80's, R&B and Rock. Asked about ads for the station he said, "Group of music fanatics seeks listeners to exploit our bandwidth?"

Listen. Enjoy? There's a forum at the link above where you can make requests.

Points Off, Symbiotic Three-way

Points off on this managed community. The battery in the thermostat died the first week I was in the new apt. This afternoon, I got the first piercing chirp from one of the smoke detectors, warning of low battery. The cat napping in my lap was not amused.

Discovering strange biological bedfellows talks of a clever three-way symbiotic situation.

I need to go up to the house but I'm resisting. I hate going back there. I'm not that thrilled with the walk either I guess. From what I could determine from email, Brother's busy until Thursday which is when he wants to go see the lawyer as she requested to finish estate paperwork.

Freaky Fish! And Other Things.

Frill Shark

In other news there's a local trial of a woman having murdered her husband. Her defense lawyer her flashing breasts at a party was part of her grieving process.

I am still moving out. Sort of. I'm at the house sorting. I slept on the floor.

(Congratulations to Jen Hudson on her Oscar nomination.)

Golden Globes

Congratulations, Helen Mirren. Won "Best Actress" both for "Elizabeth I" and "The Queen."



Jennifer Hudson, from American Idol 3, adds a another trophy for her role in "Dreamgirls." She won the film critic's award and now adds a "Golden Globe."

iPhone vs. neonode N1m

The N1m is a three-in-one device like iPhone. It too has no physical keypad, does web browsing, phone and media playback.

N1m is not elegant. The virtual keypad is the usual phone style 3 x 4 number-letter layout while iPhone uses QWERTY like a regular keyboard.

Neonode's N1m is smaller in height, width and weight but far thicker at 21 mm vs 11.6 mm. That smaller height and width also mean it has a smaller screen (176 x 220 pixels) compared to iPhone (320 x 480 pixels).

The 1GB N1m supports more media types because you can play DiVX, WMV, MPEG while the 4 or 8 GB iPhones only seems to support iPod-ready video. The built-in cam of N1m is listed as 1 megapixel, Apple iPhone's is 2 megapixels.

What about cost? The N1m is €532,00 (approx US$692.55) while iPhone US$499 for the 4GB version, US$599 for 8GB.

So, looking at the most near true analog to the iPhone, the Apple product is bigger where it matters in storage, screen & cam resolutions yet less expensive!

I won't be buying either one, since they are far more than I need in a cell phone and iPhone comes with that nasty "2 yr contract" attached. That said, iPhone is a tremendously exciting product demo which suggests great technology trickling down to common disposable devices over the next five years. I suspect the OS X used by iPhone is the coming 10.5 Leopard, not 10.4 Tiger, since Leopard will have scalable user interface elements and Core Animation, a technology mentioned as part of iPhone in the keynote address.

iPhone specs
neonode N1m specs

Blog Running Behind...

I found a place, I can move this weekend. I have detailed entries being worked on in the 'drafts'.

Same Crud, Different Year?

Nice to see online communities still have tin horn dictators. Must be the nature of the species. Oh well.

I had planned to do some "serious" blogging but I had a headache and felt more than a little 'off' so I delayed. I'm doing a bit better now, with some food ingested. Let me hand out sick-bags just in case. Basically I was thinking over my youthful dreams and breeding and so forth.

When I was in high school, I was interested in adopting a "hard to place" older child. Sure, in grade school as adolescence was just getting underway I fantasized about procreating. Yes, seriously. Not simply a copulating act but with purpose of actual impregnation. Later as I great through puberty and so forth I never really had an impulse to marry. And interest in siring my own flesh and blood dissipated.

I'm about twice as old now, or rapidly shall be. It's only natural I suppose I'd revisit such topics. Now's a good time especially with the radical difference my day to day life will have this year. Other than myself, it'll all be different. (Heaven help me!)

OK, back to the parental thing. I heard a call on Dr. Laura from a 13 yr old asking how he can make his estranged father love him. Of course, he can't because the sperm donor is a distant, disinterested person. She advised the boy to focus on the love around him from mom, step-dad, etc. and feel bad for his bio-dad for what he's missing and may one day regret. Anyway, the call was gut wrenching. I felt very paternal and compassionate, while silently cursing guys like his bio-dad. Anyway, it rekindled old passions of a desire to mentor, do foster care, adopt or something.

In recent weeks I'd wrestled with the absence of biological grandkids. Of course, with my parents now gone, they couldn't meet their hypothetical biological grandkids. So much pressure would be off if Brother had married a healthy, fertile woman. In the ten-plus months since Mother passed I've been thinking over different things she said, trying to put together the puzzle pieces. I had decided to talk to her about these things but put it off as I figured I had all year long and could wait till she got over the pneumonia she'd been diagnosed with.

My conclusion is that despite what I'd said, Mother was convinced I'm gay. I might draw that out later how I conclude this but it's not important to this entry. So with that conclusion I've wondered if maybe it is correct. Well, as I considered my passed fanciful desires, it ultimately it doesn't matter since it really didn't involve anything in the way of a relationship regardless of gender. It really only had a cornerstone of single parenthood.

By now you know the SIL and Brother have adopted three kids. Two are final and have been for a few years. The infant, whom Mother met days before she passed on, hasn't been finalized. That was a key motivator to the change in housing arrangements. They needed four bedrooms and I, the cat and her fish need considerably fewer.

OK, I'm wandering all over a bit. I'm tired. The cat is waiting for me to come to bed, it's almost 7:30am. Focusing a bit... I'm less interested in "solving" any kind of sexuality question than I am in addressing the running theme of having no life partner in my past visions of a future. I might have an answer. I'm not ready to blog about it yet, however. And, no, it has little to do with commitment concerns. I'd commit to almost anything. I'm silly that way. I have seen, objectively, that I'd benefit from having someone to help me avoid certain pitfalls like being too nice, overly generous, or too free with spotting others some funds.

So, anyway, on levels that matter to me I feel that one person seems like a potential keeper. I'm intrigued. Sure it's a guy but really I haven't had meaningful contact with anything else in years. I could be in a partnership arrangement if it's with someone I trust, with whom I know I'll have a mutual relationship of looking out for one another. When it gets down to it, what else is there? If you have to be suspicious, forget it. I've been there. I thought I had something like that with my uni girlfriend but that wasn't true leading me to regret the ongoing nature of our intimate physical relationship and ultimately cease it and deciding to cut bait.

Last week I heard the end of an hour of Dr. Laura where a wife was calling to say she'd been wedded 17 years and when she wasn't sure the marriage would last early on, she aborted their first child. It was a child she didn't tell her husband they were expecting. She had lately decided to be "totally honest" with him and told her husband. She was upset at his horror and was calling for advice (Dr. Laura said never, ever speak of it again). Things like that scare the hell out of me. It's actually a scenario (a potential spouse aborting child secretly) I'd wondered about through the years. I'm nuts like that.

So, ok. I'll just leave this entry as is. I'm sure it'll stir something. I hope. Maybe? No guests invading today means plenty of rest. Sunday we hunt for new accommodations.

Here We Go Again!

It's likely been more than a year but I got another wrong delivery of... Yes, dear... it's HAY!



The O.C. is canceled, finale plays Feb 22. in the States. Show was good in season one and became unwatchable with its constant return to clichés of Ryan using his fists and swirling around the drain that was Mischa Barton's character.

Ramblings

First off, I've recently seen Elephant a film by Gus Van Sant. It's good, obviously strongly 'inspired' by the Columbine high school shooting in the U.S. in the '90s. I had no idea what it was about when I watched it. Anyway, it was unlike another Gus film, "My Own Private Idaho," which I saw maybe last year (or '05?) about 10-15 years after friends suggested I'd "get something out of it." Well I thought MOPI was a piece of pretentious wank. There's probably a blog entry. So out of three films from that director I've liked "Good Will Hunting" and "Elephant." I think I'll stop while I'm ahead.

It's a bit like Ang Lee. "Ice Storm" was intriguing. I stopped and watched it one day flipping around and saw Sigourney Weaver and Kevin Kline, then Elijah Wood so I was thinking, "Ok, what is this film?" When it was time for him to do "Hulk" I was excited. That film was a total disaster. Then I'm hearing about "Brokeback Mountain" and grudgingly watched it. I hated it; there wasn't any romance in my mind. It maddeningly pissed me off--I saw the first "encounter" as rape with all else coloured by that reaction. Bored and trying to fall asleep I rewatched it this week and it didn't piss me off like the first time but the sheep are still the best part of the film. The cinematography still makes me want to move to Wyom... err Canada. I still haven't unwrapped the shrink-wrap on Crouching Tiger. I can't say I trust Ang Lee as a director.

My candy bar wrapper smelled like cigars. :( That's probably why it was on sale for 60 cents (from 89). I got those stupid corn cereals again. I argued with myself in the store but decided food was food. Well, I've had two bowls maybe three or four. Well, I don't know. Doesn't matter. I'm annoyed. Wasn't what I wanted but it was what the store had. Or fake Cheerios. I got those too along with chili, peanut butter and raviolis. I'm hooked on the raviolis. I did not feel good on my walk. Not sure why. I felt out of shape which is a bit ridiculous considering it isn't any further than gammaneighbor's new place. I think I felt better walking back with a backpack full of canned goods. I did get annoyed with those loitering outside the stores smoking like chimneys. Ugh!

I slept just 2 hrs after a 22 waking period and don't get why.

Well, the series *was* set in the 21st century.



Read about the "dolphin boat" at the Daily Mail.

Word of the Day

nebbish - a person, esp. a man, who is regarded as pitifully ineffectual, timid, or submissive.

late 19th century from Yiddish nebekh 'poor thing'

Do you Firefox?

If you use Firefox and want to save YouTube clips (or clips from many sites) you should try this free plug-in, Download Helper.

Firefox had an update this past week. It's now at 2.0.0.1. No, that isn't a typo. :P

The guy who originally played Lionel Jefferson on "The Jeffersons" passed away at 57 (throat cancer).

I got a Christmas card from my uncle. I had successfully stalked him online to find his new address since neither I nor my brother had heard from him since he left the state in August. Jeebus! His house still hasn't sold!

Mother got a certificate that she has paid off the mortgage. Yay Mother! Too bad you're dead and can't enjoy it. :/ What else? Hmm. Phone rang again. It is stupid "Unknown Name" at a toll-free number. I see from online that it's a company trying to get me to pay for longer appliance coverage. They never leave a message but I still have to clear the call from the machine. How annoying. :P

My bank has told me they are changing my account type. It will now have a $6 monthly fee! Those bastards! Doesn't start until Feb tho so now I'll be looking for other account types and maybe another bank. Been their customer for like 15 years and never had fee. Grr.

12 Days of '06

It's funny!

The 12 Days of 2006

Cast your vote!

Cunning Dental Group dental makeover (frightful images ahead)

Chocolate-Pork-Pancake Update!

I found them at grocery. They were SEVEN ($7) for a box! I didn't buy. :/

Ultimate Piggy Food?

Should I buy?

Men, Turn Back The Clock? (PG-13)

Turn it back in ways you didn't expect that is.

Scientists in the UK are working on a contraceptive Pill for men. However, it would be easily taken hours before a "date" and not need to be taken daily as it won't stop sperm production like some efforts being researched.

It would, however, roll back time to your early years when masturbation led to dry orgasms (wikipedia). It works by preventing ejaculation!

Daily Mail has more.

Seriously, do they not understand the term "money shot" exists for a reason? I could see this being a fetish item among those who like to role play. I can also see the "reproductive rights" "progressives" trying to make this as nearly universal for young males as they have made the Pill for young females. I see the dollar signs in their eyes already!

RIP Dave Cockrum, artist / creator

Dave co-created the modern X-Men including Colossus, Nightcrawler, Storm and Phoenix. He wasn't my favorite artist but I thought he had a solid ability of designing covers. He has passed away after a long illness at 63.

Below is a favorite, the debut of Phoenix, Uncanny X-Men #101:

Coming Out Of The Woodwork?

LOST's Michelle Rodriquez has come out as a lesbian. Her girlfriend is T3's Kristanna Loken. Read more at The Advocate

Loken, as the T-X, with CA Governor Schwarzenegger in "T3: Rise of the Machines"

---

Happy Birthday to Muz.

Moving?

Well tomorrow Brother is putting in for a home loan to buy this house.  It's expected he'll be successful.  I'll need to figure out where to move to.

It was very hot today, I had a nap in the afternoon because I was feeling miserable. I may have picked up Brother's cold. He was over to chat a bit yesterday.

I talked about a small house nearby and sent him some photos. He agreed it is nice but the price is beyond ridiculous.  I'll have some money to move but not enough to outright purchase a place in this area I think.  Need to do considerable looking.  And, of course, I need to decide just what it is I need to keep.  I did lots of cleaning out earlier this year but there is plenty that I hung on to that, really, could be parted with.

I'm a packrat by nature and after 30 years you can imagine I've packed quite a bit.  I'd rather let others sort and throw away than me. I need to adopt Mother's mood when she would get into a cleaning fit. She was vicious, even merciless. :(

Last night I was thinking about my fear of success. Now I just want to vomit which, if I get enough chocolate into me might just happen!  Was going to do more cereal but I think I'm in the mood for pasta.

Another One?

Former "Doogie Howser" star Neil Patrick Harris has told People Magazine he's gay too.

He has "come out" because of "speculation and interest in my private life and relationships."

A certain gay gossip terrorist apparently can't seem to leave celebrities alone. Bastard.

Nov 1st, All Saints (Day)

It is 1 Nov! How did I get here? Yikes.

November has never really been a month I've enjoyed. As a young child, I was hospitalized and almost died in a Nov, grandmother died in a Nov, I broke off my first "adult" relationship in a Nov, Father went into hospital for the last time in a Nov... It's not my favorite month! Make it go away?

I had no trick-or-treat visitors last night so Kitty and I can hoard our candy until we explode. Except she can't have chocolates so it's mine. Mine! All MINE!

Just had fella come to door begging for support of candidate. I hate candidate? Candidate is bastard. I voted for candidate and agreed to endorse.

My chocolates say, "Find your passion" and "Love without rules."

Kitty is in the bedroom window getting sun! I still haven't gotten out to post office. I did do three bills though. Internet is good. Saves me stamps!

Mail came. It is time to pay the yard-nazis fees for "community" pool. Bah. 30 years and I still have no key.

I'm bored with the Kerry story? He's an ass. Go Troops!:

RIP, Last Firefighter Dies From Esperanza Arson

23-year-old Pablo Cerda has passed away. He served for 2 yrs and had suffered lung damage and 3rd degree burns on over 90% of his body.  His death is the fifth among the five fightfighters caught up in the recent arson blaze in Southern CA. The fire is now contained.  If caught, the arsonist will face five counts of murder.

The other firefighters were Capt. Mark Loutzenhiser, 44, Jess McLean, 27, Jason McKay, 27, and Daniel Hoover-Najera, 20.

iTunes Updated

Apple has released 7.0.2 for both Macs and Windows. iTunes Download Page.

It Is Duckie's Birthday!

Happy Birthday to the Duckie.

It is also Halloween.  Still not sure if I'll give out candy.  I am still awake from yesterday. It is almost 11:30 am.  I put out bins this morning, changed litter box late last evening, talked to neighbor and grandma neighbor.  

I got rid of some scrap wood and unneeded things in garage.  I also got ride of some of the concrete Father never used that turned into giant blocks because of rain.  There are still some, though.  Will try again next week!  

What else? Oh, I patched driveway cracks and even sidewalk crack that I ignored years ago when I fixed driveway before. 

Mother said ignore because it is city's problem. City is lazy and cheap and corrupt so I patched it anyway.  I went to neighbor's side of the wall and fixed a gap.  He will probably not notice.  

I also am painting the street-level numbers on the curb again.  

Kitty is confused about my schedule. So am I!  Got another call asking me to volunteer from campaign.  Not sure I want to do that.  It hasn't been my thing.  I've made and put out signs in the past although I probably won't this year. 

I want to nap but naps are evil.  I should burn these shoes. They smell bad. 

Surprises in Microsoft's Vista License

A must read over at the Register for folks who might want to upgrade to Windows Vista or use virtualization software like Parallels or VMWare.

Is A Moron?

Brother finally emailed to say RL and A are not doing Halloween here this year.  He claims I will get pix but I haven't see air show pix yet either.

SIL is taking kids to school event instead.  I just realized he didn't say *they* were taking, just SIL. Maybe he is working?  Could be!  I am disappointed because I made special grocery walk to get candy.  I called first and had to leave a message!  Grrr.

Now I have candy that I won't be giving out?  Annoying. :/  Grandma neighbor said she tosses out most candy because the grandevils don't need all that sugar so I can give it to them!  Maybe I will keep and pig out when I am depressed!

Whitney is looking better? She recently appeared with Clive Davis at an event, looking healthy for a change (right-hand photo):

Sunday Circuses.

Clocks changed here. There are a few I haven't changed somewhere.  They are laying about teasing me; I can tell!

Before breakfast I was outside.  I fixed lock on grandma neighbor's door. 

Her house has door from garage into house at laundry room.  That lock was not working.  Landry room door has no lock from dining.

There is no lock or motor, not even a slide bold on big outside garage door so anyone could just lift it and walk through right into house!  

The grandevils had left the doors all wide open this morning.  Surprised to see all the open doors and hearing no sounds, I was curious! When she suddenly came out front door, I asked if she knew the others were open. She did not.

She then told me it doesn't lock!  Very scary!  I only had to unscrew lock and put back on.  It is cheap lock so it just got loose with age.  The door isn't even what should be there.  They put a hollow-core interior door there which is bad for insulation and worse for security.  Originally there was a "utility door" but that is long gone.

She said her dryer isn't working much anymore either.  I am not going to try to fix tho.  It could just be the belt but dat is like opening can of worms!  I don't like worms?  They are not good eats. :D

She is not living behind concrete and steel like me and kitty--although kitty went over the wall again last night while I chatted with neighbor! :/ 

Bunker feel is one reason I like being here? It helps soothe the paranoia Father said I have. Am I really paranoid if they really *are* out to get me? :D

Brother emailed?  I had sent drawing from internet.  His email said he and RL liked.  No other msg content. :/  *sigh*

Sleep was meh-ish.  I feel pretty good but am unsure what do to with today?  It is still early enough there might be guests?  Guests never call. They are evil that way.  I should hide in bed with kitty and pretend the world outside does not exist!

Blah

It is Saturday. I woke off and on through the night.  I went to sleep around 3am in case Brother would show.  

There was door bell ringing around 9am.  I ignored.  Kitty looked at me and decided to ignore too.  Later I asked neighbor about it, he said it was carpet cleaner salesman. 

I decided to get up in case Brother came but as hours ran on, I knew he wasn't going to.  I started to get self-annoyed because I could have slept!  

I watered lawn with sprinkler to get soaking.  Did same for flower boxes at street.  

They are not thriving except in one small part!  I switched to easy growing candy apple ice plant because the flower seed did not grown.  Now ice plant is not working well either! That was $35 wasted plus water use. :/  

It isn't as if the ground should be bad because I did fertilize and water and turn!  Crazy.  I would tell Brother to take out about 1 ft deep and buy top soil.  It has annoyed because other plants and grasses are ok but most visible stuff is not! 

Am falling into sullen mood, pining for death (like duckie!). I have barely eaten so I will do food in a moment, it will help mood.  

Neighbor's grandson was at friend's house last evening and was dropped off while I was watering.  It is good that he still visits. Maybe I will listen to lame pre-recording radio show. Bah.

Freaked Out Friday

It is Friday. Supposedly it is 85F (~30C). I did watering of grass and plants, spoke to neighbor who was doing the same. Brother's flight seems a bit delayed to San Diego but he should be in Arizona. That is good, there are thunder storms in GA according to Accuweather lies.

I have been putting joint compound on wall in a kind of Ventian plaster look. I gave up on trying to match new with old looks. This is easier. I have not eaten. I was wanting to shake myself senseless wondering WTF I am doing in moving from house so SIL, et al. can infest it? Yes, I'll have money from it and can move and do whatever but this has been my permanent residence long time! Leaving after 30 years when so much will be destroyed to appease the unappeasable SIL (she is like terrorists and dictators that way :D ) just to find a new place for my lonely, isolated self and kitty is cazy. It isn't like when Mother and I were going to move because we had picked places together, we would have each other and kitty and kitty's fish for company. Here, I have neighbors and it is convenient location too!

Why should SIL get excellent break on property tax? It is not what Mother would want. Just to mention, Mother would have taken tax rate with her to new place within the state. Brother could say, "Meh! You got insurance," but that was not for me to decide. Mother was not going to leave him anything which is not something I have said or will say any time soon. It isn't something I can explain? Mother did think she owed me for 10 years of caregiving and companionship. I told him before I had asked her for the house but obviously that didn't work out (although that was her plan whether we lived here or had moved). I can already feel the regret of encouraging Brother to buy house. I am depricating my own desires for greater good. I have often been own worst enemy. Just look at money I have "spent" on Brother that Duckie, the Kiwi and Muz think I'm crazy for doing? Sure I get that back but...

I wonder if I would prefer a third party get house than either of us. That would be most fair! :(

Mostly I want RL and A to have good home. But SIL will hate? She is chronic complainer and I would be very angry / hurt if she makes nasty comments about house! She already said my replacement of lemon tree with rocks and bark and bushes looked like 'pet semetary'. That was very mean.

Kitty is on my bed enjoying warmth of day. She has gotten petting and last evening she slept on the house side of me (instead of window side or at feet). She was probably chilled. :/

I want to go out for a bit to get cereal and a couple of things.

It is almost midnight now. I did get cereal and antibacterial soap and kitty food. I got soy milk. It is not great? Fortunately it is only a quarter (about 1 liter). There was near-ish fire so there was smoke in the air on walk back. Very annoying to breathe. I should have gotten things to drink. Maybe soon. I mowed lawn again which attracted attention. Grandmaneighbor borrowed vacuum. I finished putting up joint compound so now entire wall is that way. I gave up trying to match old with new and so we will see how much Brother hates if he comes over. In theory he got back but I don't have confirmation he was actually on his flights.

What else? Kitty and I went out a bit tonight, I watered lawn for third time today. It has been warm and dry. I was going to eat dinner when grandmaneighbor returned vacuum. I used it a bit later to get dust from French Door windowpanes and dining window screen. I watched Veronica Mars tonight. Episode was OK but something was missing with it. Not sure what. Duckie is online. Kitty did not get tuna today, she was not in mood.

Big Dude

That's Manny Yarbrough, a sumo wrestler. He's about 6'8" (204cm) and around 708lbs (321kg).

Weird Wednesday

It was a very weird day. I didn't get up until late. I just didn't feel good each time I woke up which seemed all too often.

I have no milk so my Cheerios were dry. I've had tamales again tonight. Kitty is meowing off in the distance. She demanded we go outside, even coming into the bathroom to plead her case! She walked the path around the front lawn eventually deciding to sit quietly. It seemed too chilly but she wasn't in any rush to come inside. I had go out in bare feet so the concrete was starting to ice up my toes. Grandmaneighbor popped outside so I hid back up on the patio. Kitty had hid too! She got lower and tried hiding behind the taller grass. Hillarious! Grandmaneighbor didn't see us and went back inside after moving her trash bin away from the front door.

It is raining in Georgia (where Brother is) according to Accuweather which means it could really be 39C (~100F) in the shade.

Radio was not so good tonight. Getting tired of election topics. Listened to Mix down in Sydney a bit, now it's 11pm and I have them on again awhile. I can't believe there's no Amazon.com for Australia. What kind of country is that?

What else? Mail was early for some reason. I got mostly junk other than notice to Mother than mortgage is autopay again. I was avoiding email until now. Only thing of note was cable bill being ready. Thrilling! She "wants a man with a slow hand" in the Mix song playing.

I had odd dreams. More grocery shopping. And Mother. And house remodel talk. This is great stuff! :/

Made to Suffer

Brain is in self-loathing mode. I could sneak a snack, perhaps yogurt. I'm just very annoyed. I was in a good mood having watched a cute little film called "CAMP" when I made the mistake of asking in an IM, "How goes the battle," an idiom asking how's life / what's up? Well, I got some comment about "casualties" and "ragheads" and that ticked me off.

The duckie just has come online so I will post this and poke at him awhile.

Ugh

I ate too much! Now I feel bloated. I had an entire packet of crackers with my soup tonight.  I told kitty to bite my leg if I do that again. :(

I feel like there is something laying on my chest.  Very annoying.  There is some fog tonight. I went outside with kitty.  Didn't water. There was another lemon tree shoot so I think that makes four that have been removed.

I might watch a film, not sure. Have been thinking about what items I want to keep from the house. Need to decide what items I can depart with and not have silly regrets. :/

Today was 46 months since Father passed.  I feel too bloated to sleep now but might sleep early and not wait for dawn.  I'd like to do a few things before it gets too hot tomorrow.

Lame Day

I went to bed probably at 8am or so. Sleep was not great but passable. It warmed up a bit more than I expected today.  I did a bit of watering and weeding.  

Talked to neighbor.  He was going to invite me over tonight if things went well but he hadn't gotten his wife up yet and yesterday she'd not been up more than 2 hrs.

Brother didn't get to hotel until 1am!  He is on other side of the country for work.  Boss made them miss their connecting flight.

Radio has been lame today. Tedious even.  I spent time viewing some very nice images from the Hubble Space Telescope.

I have been piggy today. I can't seem to type... ugh. I had chocolate and cereal.  I'm not sure what I'll have now but I think I need something.

Political ads have been tormenting.

Oh, Bloody Hell!

An article on Yahoo (from USA Today) says, "Even Oprah Winfrey - maybe the most revered of all Americans..."

If that's even in the same universe with truth, we're doomed.

RIP Jane Wyatt

Actress Jane Wyatt has passed away at 96. She's most memorable to me as Mr. Spock's mom, Amanda, on Star Trek. She was also the wife in "Father Knows Best," a tv series from 1954-1960, for which she won three best actress Emmy Awards.

Ugh

Slept grumpily.  Ignored food until close to 6pm.  We to an open house.  It was a nice place.  Too expensive, I've concluded.  Tried calling Brother but no answer.  No email.

I don't think there was a BBQ at grandmaneighbor's yesterday.  I spent hours working on the worksheet of payouts I've made for the estate. Make my head spin.  I refuse to believe it--crazy expensive?  

What else? Oh, a statement came that contradicts the balance given to me Friday on that account which seemed to have been significantly lower than expected.  I have to call Monday and double-check.

Part of me is leaning towards renting or storing my things and bumming around awhile trying to figure out WTF do to with myself. Ugh.  Maybe I will just try being homeless or a nomad or duckie's poolboy (Duckie: get a pool!).

That house is about a third smaller than this one. Two bedrooms, two bath. There's quite a lot to like about it except the price.  Brother would actually work out better with this house because it's bigger and the property tax rate would be very low (perhaps a 1/6th) while I'd be paying perhaps as much as $4500 (or more) per year.  That tells me it is not a good deal for me. I did, however, get a sense of what I'd like to see in a house for myself and kitty.

I have a slight headache. It's about 10pm. I'm listening to iTunes.

More Outings

One of the cast of Grey's Anatomy (Duckie watches!) has revealed he's gay and hopes that isn't the most interesting thing about him. I don't watch so here's an accompanying photo of T.R. Knight for us non-watchers:

---

R.J. Helton, of the first American Idol season, has outed himself in a satellite radio interview.  He had a Christian music album, "Real Life," in 2004 which sold over 20,000 copies. It isn't on iTunes for some reason.

It's a Dry Heat

It's warm today.  I made calls and got the "pay off" numbers for estate accounts.  I'm confused about one.  It seems thousands less than expected.  Weird, really.  I'm pretty sure I hadn't paid that much.

Got a pseudo-invite to the BBQ at grandmaneighbors but I'm not so social and want to get the numbers finished tonight. It'll take awhile.  

OK, that was hours ago. It's now after 6pm. Just read a story that makes my blood boil. Some time back a woman shot herself to kill the baby she was to give birth to that day. The child died. All charges have been dropped including filing a false police report and the gun charge. That's just... beyond the pale.

Kitty is demanding attention. It's hairball gel time. I chatted with neighbor about the house and moving and Brother/SIL. I think I am better off just taking the money and running. At least that's where my head is at tonight.

I need to gather all my receipts and things and see what I spent on the estate so I can include that in what Brother would need to buy me out.  Might have more cereal.

Friday Off To Bad Start?

It is 3:30am, Friday.  I think we're off to a bad start.  I'm unfathomably anxious, mind ill at ease, slight headache.  I just had some ravioli.  I think I should hide in bed and hope for death by earthquake.  I hate this feeling. :(

Thrilling Thursday

So again I didn't sleep well.  I think the cat is hiring aliens to carry me off and drag me around the countryside because that would explain how exhausted and achy I feel when I wake up. Phone rang which dragged me from bed and into some clothes. It was a recording. It's it usually? The cell phone company was offering something or the other.

I watered the plants and mowed the lawn. Soon after, when I'd just put the sprinkler on, grandmaneighbor came over to borrow a rake for the backyard clean up. She's planning to have a BBQ tomorrow and asked if I had any ideas on cleaning a propane grill.  I knew I had some tools around from Father's grilling days and said I'd come over.  I found them and off I was, sprinkler left on.

Grandmaneighbor and I sat awhile. She's diabetic and she needed a rest and to drink her orange juice, feeling like she had low bloodsugar. She said it was around 60 which is not a good number!  It was a nice chat about her health (more than I needed to know, really) and so on.  A lady pastor at her church passed away unexpectedly, something she related when I mentioned Mother's passing had been unexpected.  

I noticed she had a small basket of medications on the table.  It sounds like she knows what she should be doing.  Her cookies are sugar free, she has a doctor, she walks a lot for her health... they tell her she shouldn't be yelling so much though. I told her it all keeps her young. 

Later I found out the grandkids she has have been in her care all their lives. Some she took right from the hospital, another at a month old.  They all belong to her son.  She didn't say what he's doing or why he's not involved.  Her remark was the mom(s) couldn't care for them.  Reading between the lines, he seems to have gotten one or more women pregnant and his mom stepped up so her grandkids didn't end up in foster care. Sad situation. 

Since she's single, I'm trying to imagine this older woman faced with one, two , three, four kids about a year apart in age from the time of infanthood!  She's crazy.  They're older now, in grade school and middle school so it isn't (or shouldn't be) such a problem.  It is no wonder she seems worn down.  As I told her before, she isn't the first grandparent to be raising grand kids and said our neighbor had after his daughter's divorce.  

Although I didn't get into it, my grandmother made sure we had clothes, toys, books, clean laundry, made beds and cooked dinner for the house of us nearly every night until the year she passed away. She was even the one to put me to bed or reading me to sleep.

Anyway, I was there longer than I expected. I did come back to get the propane meter I'd found in the garage while organizing Father's toolcart a bit the other day.  I just couldn't take all the activity as the kids came in from school and then her older grandsons and later he daughter and so forth.  I needed to escape back to my quiet kitty-guarded bunker and to see if I'd flooded the yard yet with my sprinkler!

Tonight around 5pm I napped, not feeling great after I had a small meal.  I got up around 8pm after an odd dream of a stakeout.  Now that I type it I see a relationship to the VMars episode this week.  Interesting.  Got email from Brother asking if I've worked up the numbers yet for him about the estate and what he'd need to borrow.  I realized tonight I have more work to do because when I did it before I delibrately didn't include money I was paying out since I wouldn't borrow money to pay what I'd already paid!  Thus I've made more work for myself.  A bit irritating, really.  Also, since I was at grandmaneighbor's I didn't get to make a couple calls related to the numbers game.  Lastly, I see I paid one balance off in the same amount that was due when Mother passed which seems improbable.  I want to see what payments I'd made and so forth.  The mortgage has come down just a bit even with making the monthly payments.  I have to tack on Mother's tax bill, the property taxes and insurance too. Lots of things. And all the improvements I've made.  It had to be done at some point, I just didn't realize I'd be doing it right now.  Grrr.  I emailed that I'd do it Friday.  I had only said I would do it this week, not what day.

When I think about moving from this house I feel sad and lonely.  While I won't be any fewer in company, there won't be any "ghosts" and memories to keep my self sane and comforted.  Makes me want to vomit, really.  I won't even know my neighbors.  I may not even know the area.  Very sad. :(  I like the status quo.  I'm not sure what "happened" to my getting  time to see if I wanted to buy before the sale and making a 'last pitch' to the SIL if I didn't (before it went on the market).  Now I'm worried I'm getting the short end.  Yes, I'll have cash but I have little desire for that.  And, yes, I'll have the furniture and things but I won't have the house which is what I'd asked Mother for and would've had if we'd finished estate planning. So I'm sad and concerned I'm doing myself a disservice.  I'm confused and feel completely directionless.  I don't know who to talk to. Brother not only has a conflict of interest but he seems totally disinterested in my delimnas.  Very disappointing.  Mother would say, "Why are you surprised?!"  She would also say, "Go! Live! Enjoy! Run from house! Buy new! Do adventures!"  I try to console myself with the notion that the SIL isn't "winning" here, I'm ensuring my nephews and niece have a real home and my Brother is not throwing away his income on rent while the SIL lies around demanding more children, more things, more house, more, more, more!  I fear this will not go well and they'll battle and the SIL will demand they sell and move and it'll all have been wasted.  Makes me want to, yes, vomit!

That is enough blog for this entry. It is Friday now. No idea if duckie will be online. Probably not. I should call or email Vegas. I do want to scream. I would do close to anything to get Mother's advice. :/

Like right after Mother passed, the house has seemed much too quiet at night when I try to sleep. *sigh*

Word of the Day

Today's word is "kakistocracy" - Government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens.

Tuesday!

It is almost 3:30pm.  Brother called, I returned call. He came over. We went to bank, manager was not in today. Went to cheap store and I bought things. Lots of soup. It is getting to be soup weather. And cereal. I was out of cereal.

What else? Brother says camera he took to air show is missing? Brother is going to Georgia next week to visit a factory for work.  Is last minute thing. Duckie will hate? I loaned Brother money for trip but it is reimbursed by work.

I did not sleep well. Kitty has been quiet although Brother coming over made her hide.  The lawyer said "meeting" if Brother is going to buy house.  Lawyer is lame?

Sunday Outing

Sunday was air show! Lunch I got a Pepsi (it was a small cup) for $3 and the chicken strips-and-fries. It was good but $7! Brother did not have enough money because SIL didn't put as much in his wallet as he thought. I had money though. This was perhaps the most time I've spent around my niece. She's definitely delayed. She's five chonologically but speaks less well than grandmaneighbor's 2 year old granddaughter. Very sad.

Brother said the school has asked them to send her to school with smaller lunch because she eats so slowly. Even a half sandwich takes her an hour! She didn't eat half of her lunch so we took it back to the van. I half-said she could have it for dinner. I guess Brother has made a rule that if she doesn't finish her school lunch she has to finish it for dinner. It is OK idea.

Niece road in stroller two and from parking and part of time for air show. She got to put on helmet and flack vest, crawl on tank and visit different helos and fixed wings. We visited a mobile aircraft control tower like used in Iraq. I was most interested in the Osprey, a new aircraft intended to replace helos for the Marines. It has tilt wings and propellers so it can land and take off like a helo and fly light a prop plane. It's been under development for about 20 years. It's been a difficult vehicle to make work but they 'think' they got the bugs finally ironed out. While the main demonstration event was happening I took a walk and found they had an Osprey on the ground for people to tour. There was no line, so I sat in it for a bit. I was surprised it wasn't painted a flat grey so common for other military aircraft but had a two tone blue-grey metallic flake appearance. It is nice looking? I would buy one? They cost too much though (~$40m).

Monday Malaise

Kitty is in here. I think it's time for her hairball gel. We went out earlier a bit. OK, she came outside but I didn't let her out specifically.  I was taking a walk before dinner and as usually forgot to close the security door.  She was being good and chewing grasses.
I didn't get far before grandmaneighbor came out on the balconey to talk to me although she was on the phone.  She had me look at the hole(!) in her garage ceiling.  The owner's husband had come and said it was not major problem.  The hole is about the size of your average office wall clock.  Water is leaking onto the floor below.  Anyway, grandmaneighbor is going to an apartment complex tomorrow for a tennent interview.  I wonder what will move in if she moves?  Disturbing thought! 

I had food, doorbell rang. It was a grandchild wanting me to buy magazines or cookie dough for school fund raising.  Another had wanted $3 earlier.  I don't have $3?  I would need change.

It's that time... early voting has begun!

Another Messenger Update.

There's another update to MSN Messenger for Mac OS X. Second time this month! No idea what changes.

The download page

Saturday Showers?

There was rain today. Did not do airshow with niece and nephew and Brother.  Went to park and walked around this afternoon when rain stopped. Came back and Brother arrived unexpectedly.

He was stressed and needed to get away from children?  Someone had caused flooding in the kids bathroom, even out to the hall carpet and his steam cleaner stopped working. He came to borrow mine. He said SIL wondered if they could move in before Christmas?  I'm not shocked but that is a bit annoying.  She is waiting for lawyer to call back with how much is needed to borrow.  I gave him figures I put together in July when I was considering.  It was a little less than he thought. I said I would get current figures because I expect the lawyer doesn't know and will guess.

SIL saw picture and said my plants and rock area looks like a pet cemetary. :( *sigh*

Kitty hid while Brother was here.

I had pain in my right calf; it is still sore a bit.  I think kitty stabbed me in the night?  I felt bad earlier and took a Tylenol for aching.  I probably had been up too long, definitely over 24 hrs, and body rebelled.  I had strange dream again. There was shopping!  Will try to remember more. Might have been people from my past in dream?  I'm not feeling great, neck is aching.

Am supposed to do the airshow tomorrow if not raining. 

OMG! Friday 13th!

No one warmed me it would be Friday the 13th! Fun. :P

I have been trying to figure out what caused the stomach pains. I thought it was the milk but I'm not sure. I had salad and cereal with no milk and seemed OK today. I just had cereal with milk and we'll see how that goes.

I changed the litter box and neighbor came out to see what the light was on for. We chatted a bit. There is supposed to be rain Fri. evening, rain Saturday would ruin airshow trip.  That's ok?

It's Only Thursday?

My brain feels like it's sitting on the desk and not in my head. :(

I had a v v weird dream.  Mother was giving me meds?  And she gave too many meds?  But I couldn't figure out which meds to take?  Bottle had info for both kind saying to take only one of the candy-tasting type and more of the others?  I had yelling match with Mother and Brother, maybe Father too in dream about meds? No, wait. Father was napping on the lounge floor?  Mother also had made tiny pancakes with nice crispy edges like I liked and put them in with meds?  In dream I tried to look meds up online but there were no pix?  Tried to look in Mother's pill reference but it had come apart and pieces were missing?  Tried to get help from a pharmacist but they gave me different meds that looked like the cat's food and not like other meds in dream?  Like I said... v v weird dream.

Was v miserable last night.  Guts felt like they were being turned inside out. :/ Ugh.  I wanted to weep.

Phone woke me up this morning. It was POLITICAL call.  Mayor saying I should vote YES on B & C.  I haven't seen B & C yet.  I dragged body from bed and went to see grandmaneighbor but there was no answer. I think doorbell is hard to hear. I could hear TV.  I came back and fooded on pancakes. I did not eat sausages. Pork is unclean. :/  I went back over to see grandmaneighbor and knocked, this time she heard and answered.

A friend of hers hired a plumber to fix things yesterday so my trip to the home improvement last evening was a bit wasted except it meant I did groceries too and so that was good. Sink is fixed doing what I suspected had to be done: a new garbage disposal was put in. Plumber put a scew and gasket on old handle. It's a bit loose which is silly but that's done and it works now. She had a grand daughter there, 2 years old. Very assertive and talkative, not at all like my niece at that age.  Anyway, grandmaneighbor talked my ear off for an hour (more on that later). Now I am home. Tired and going to have salad. Clouds are parting a bit. Could have rain tomorrow. Maybe no airshow for me and the nepheices? :/

Oh, I forgot there was second phone call. I ignored phone because I didn't recognize the number. It was business call and they left message. I returned the call, they were just confirming address to send check to me. 

Kitty is in the window!  Brother of what duckie called "hot neighbor" (guy in military) gave me an odd look as I was leaving grandmaneighbor's. He was a bit scruffy and I think he had a death stick in his left hand. It was too short to be a pen. He is thin and attractive! Why would someone like that take up smoking? Uh oh, stomach is getting violent with me!! PAIN!! :/

Tuesday Blahs...

It is just past midnight. Dat makes it Tuesday.

More ladder demands tonight. 9:30pm! Craziness. Must find out what's going on from grandma neighbor. This is too much. I'm a bit bored and tired right now.

I still have to catch up with House of Carters but I did watch Desperate Housewives. Andrew (Shawn Pyfrom) was back. Really he didn't have much to do and they didn't really "sell" his having been on the streets for seven months. There was a funny line where Gabby has been stuffed in a suitcase and left in an elevator. She climbs out to the surprise of a couple who'd gotten on the life and says, "Don't laugh, saved a bundle on airfare," as she gets off at the floor.

I could watch a film maybe? Or sleep. Sleep would get me in trouble with duckie because I said I'd be online. *sigh*

I slept. I guess duckie didn't come online. I woke up before 7am, hid for awhile. By 8am I took Father's air compressor to the neighbor so he could inflate his tires more. Then I came back to hide. I was very sore and tired. Mother and I had grocery shopping in dream. She was asking if I had a certain kind of salad dressing. I said you know I don't, since I shop only for basics. There was nice salad package in dream with dressing and romaine. Not the first groceries with Mother dream (she passed away about 7 months ago).

I fooded but feel hungry. I was outside and chatted with two neighbors a bit. Seems grandpests are bugging many and even let another neighbor's dog out. I will add this to grandma neighbor talking points. She asked me to tell her if they start to bug the neighbors.

I wish I didn't feel so tired. I feel like I was left out in the sun all day to dry out! I am not doing bank today but might do small shopping tonight if neighbor doesn't invite me over.

It's Monday!

Monday is here. It is "Columbus Day" which is barely a public holiday. In sad news, the bee I tried to save from a tangled web yesterday has passed on. :/

The bee of unknown age has been buried in the flower box after a brief viewing.

I didn't sleep worth anything last night, too much tossing and turning. It's fairly cloudy today. I am having chili for 'breakfast'.

"No birthday songs to sing again..."

I back at a state where the thought of checking email makes me cringe. I hate that. Kitty is up and about today. She was sunning herself in the window a little while ago.

I've been trying to do blogging from a widget but it's ability to post is flaky and worse, entries must be short or text starts falling below the screen. Maybe I will seek out another widget.

It is after 5pm. I watered lawn with sprinkler. Talked to neighbor while he was watering. I feel very, very tired. It's annoying. And I think there is headache brewing! Make it go away? No mail today because of holiday.

Not sure what food I'll do next.

Foggy In The Brain...

I had weird sleep. Very very weird.  There was class picture time in dream?  Too crowded.  I did wait with blanket wrapped around me like a mummy tho.  I guess it was a uni dream?

I tried to save a bee but think I failed. :(  It was caught in an abandoned web in flowerbox. I freed it but now it is just laying there?  Maybe it is resting!  It was very tangled!  I had to free pairs of legs and one wing.  Pray for the bee!  Other bees did not come to its aide!  They are heartless. :(  I heard excessive buzzing so I investigated.

I think guest spider has relocated to side of the house!  If it isn't guest, I will smack it with the broom.  It can go haunt neighbor!

Hugh news! Nude Hugh? Brother emailed that SIL wants them to buy this house? I am on the floor in shock? That is good, tho. Good for the kiddies.

Brain is foggy. Feeling very tired. Meds were a bit off and sleep as disruptive. Took me hours to doze off. Was sleepy until I got into bed! Then suddenly awake again. Ugh. :(

Fed fish. Kitty is in her bedroom chair. Watered grasses which are trying to turn brown on me! Evil? :/  Might be going dormant for winter?

Having cereal. Already had raviolis.  Will need to do fooding again.  Might nap.

There are worms in the gutter. And grapes. People are slobs!  There were more than 10 rubberbands laying around from postal workers! Lazy litterers! 

I'm not sure screw needed for grandma neighbor's shower repair is a standard size? That annoys me. :/

Might blog later. Depends on how I feel.

Meh.

No Brother today. He volunteered for overtime instead. Another ladder run to grandma neighbors. Didn't get to home improvement. Maybe I'll walk over Sunday if I'm in the mood. I do have a few things to return.

Having a quiet day with the kitty. She's here on the floor behind me. Paid the property tax. Now I'll do some online bill paying for myself and decide what to do with my evening. It's only 7pm! Grrr. Well, I do have another foreign film to watch. Or something. Listened to the gubernatorial debate with one ear while eating. I had "boneless beef" and potatoes and peas/corn/carrots. Back to the debate, Arnold had some good lines. The "conversational" format was total crap. Angelides rambled. Arnold didn't want to interrupt. The moderator guy was beyond useless.

Folks who are ahead in the polls generally only have to avoid mistakes in debates. I think Arnold did that.

I watched the seemingly very long "C.R.A.Z.Y" (French-Canadian film) last evening. It's only 2 hrs but felt long. Length may have been enhanced by reading subtitles. That could be the longest subtitled film I've watched, at least recently. Some of the bits could've been axed to tighten it up to be more Hollywood. It's a good bit of filmmaking overall. Being set in the 70's is a bit of a hoot. I could have done without two or three (or more) scenes of the father singing.

No Media Bias?

Saturday there's a debate between CA Governor Arnold Schwartzenegger (Republican) and challenger Phil Angelides (Democrat). The moderator, Stan Statham, according to the L.A. Times is "a former Republican assemblyman."

Holy crap! That's a benefit to Arnold!

Or is it? He "said he changed his registration" to Independent/Decline-to-state twelve years ago. Notice they write he "said" that, not that they checked or that it was a fact.

Public records of campaign donations he made (found at OpenSecrets.org and FollowtheMoney.org) show Jack O'Connell (Democrat), Gina Papan (Democrat) and Xavier Becerra (Democrat). I didn't find any Republican donations for him.

If you don't know that public information about the moderator you'd assume from the language used by the L.A. Times that Arnold might have a partisan advantage with this moderator. This should be fundamental journalism. Instead, bloggers have to check up on this to see if there's something the Free Press isn't telling. Who will see or hear what most of the bloggers do compared to the numbers of articles sourced from a major newspaper like the L.A. Times or newswire like the AP and Reuters and repeated in local papers, news broadcasts and news breaks?

The embattled L.A. Times seems to hate Arnold. They did the infamous groping story just before the recall election that brought him to power. Just last month they used information given to them by the Angelides campaign to try to embarrass Arnold for calling a Latina (Republican) legislator "hot-blooded" in a private meeting. Reacting, she claimed to call herself that too.

The obtaining of that recording is being investigated for criminal activity since it was on a password-protected server location. The L.A. Times did not admit it was sourced from the challenger's campaign until they had been caught.

Quotes above from this L.A. Times article.

Quiet Friday

I stayed up until mid-morning, then took a nap. Wasn't a great nap. Then I heard grandma neighbor yelling across the street so I knew she was home. I took some screws over and tried again to fix the shower. Didn't do it. I also had a template and calipers and told her tomorrow I'll go to the home improvement to get the right size. I think I'll want a metric sized screw since it's been said the plumbing in these homes was from Italy.

Giving that up, I came back and cooked food. Had some chicken fingers. This evening I had tamales. Maybe I'll do cereal later on. I gave food to kitty but forgot to giver her a fresh bowl. She got water too. I returned the non-usable screws to the neighbor with a note of thanks. This afternoon I've been listening to streaming radio. Hasn't been great, certainly. Mail came but it was all junk.

A grandson came to the door while I was in the kitchen and he asked to "see a ladder." Apparently grandma was out and he needed his football gear from her room. I dragged the ladder across the street and set it up. He went up the ladder and miraculously the balcony door was closed but not locked. I got a thumbs up and took my ladder home. Fun! Oh, I forgot, I met grandma neighbor's 3 yr old great granddaughter when I was working on the shower.

The "MacAddict" magazine is going to change and become "Mac|Life." Boo-hiss. It'll be missed. Bastards.

Martians Have Landed

There was new Veronica Mars. Season has premiered. She has started college. I can't say much because Duckie is obsessed with VMars and would hate spoilers. The diner shown in the credits is right outside the studio gate where they film VMars. I haven't been there. Could be fun.

I mowed lawn, watered kitty's plants and grass. Mail today was some ads, a big envelope and copy of the New Yorker for another street, a notice to Mother her credit protection was changing on a charge card. I called the later and cancelled. They are stupid to still tell her she is alive after they paid on account benefit! Duh! I had tamales and raviolis and dry cereal and a few saltines today. I want something else. There is more raviolis. That would be quick!

I had stayed up until 9am. Took short nap. Feeling a little sleepy now at 4am. Talked to neighbor a bit tonight.

5ive Return.

UK Boyband 5ive/Five has reunited (WorldofFive.com) without member Sean Conlon. He's trying his hand at a solo career. His MySpace page is here with two streaming tracks. His voice is rough. It reminds me of Woodstock singer Joe Cocker (Wikipedia) who some might only know from the opening theme song of "The Wonder Years" TV show. (IMDB.com)

Ugh. Make The Week End!

I had bizarre dream. There were lots of bugs in the dream. There was even a giant ant, about the size of a grown man's hand? It was evil. There were three cobras too? Very odd. It wasn't a nightmare; it was just odd, even silly. It was probably because the spider has abandoned me and kitty for somewhere else. It will be missed. A second giant spider annoyed me because it was on the porch close to the house. I don't see it around today. I smacked it over the wall with a broom last night. If it survived, it's the neighbor's problem. :P

Today I got up and think I had cereal. I checked to see if grandma neighbor was home but there was no answer. Stealing myself for hell, I saw there was some email. One from Brother. Nothing from the lawyer. I made a call; had to leave a voice mail. Got call back though. I then walked to post office. It was crowded! Guy ahead of me was sending a person-sized box to Italy. I bought one stamp and did some express mailing.

I left and didn't even feel tempted by fast food. It was getting warm and was after 3pm. I saw Lexus-driving neighbor on my way back and waved. I think I might've seen his school-age cousin on the walk to the post office. Not sure. If it was, he isn't as tall as I thought. I reordered meds. I have enough through the weekend. I swear I just did a refill. I think kitty is selling them on the street.

I have a headache; I think my eyes ache. Could be my tinted glasses? Or maybe stress. Or not eating much? Or from backpack last night? There was more Brother email. One was funny! I forwarded it to a few people. Kitty had been hiding but is in my room now. I gave her hair ball gel. Today's mail was just a solicitation for donation to "friends of..." Pff.

It's almost 7pm. I have a second bowl of pasta and some diet coke. Might watch something tonight; Duckie will be out since it's Thurs Down Under. I might have a movie I can watch. Kitty didn't seem to be eating much but she did eat twice today and was in the window sunning herself so I guess she was just being weird. Got chilly fast tonight.

I should be able to vote next week if my ballot comes in the mail. Can't wait to get that out of the way. I'll vote to reelect the Governator. I guess it'll be my last election at this address unless I win the lotto. HAHA.

Life Is Hell

There was a collection of comic strips by Simpson's creator back in the 1980's called "Life is Hell" (among other "...is Hell" titles). I wish I had that to read. Something to find sympathy within.

Brother called around half-passed midnight. I was gnawing dry cereal. He bitched about lawyer and email. Then hung up so he could go home after close up shop. Then copy of his email from lawyer came. I was dumb enough to look. Better tonight than the morning, right? Get the pain with now! Early!

I feel like I was dragged behind an old car. Maybe an Oldsmobile. White. Missing some hubcaps.

Rough Patch For 'Murphy Brown'

Candice Bergen, former star of TV's "Murphy Brown" sitcom had a stroke at the end of September. Now it seems her mother has passed away after a long illness. Noticing the list of survivors, and checking IMDB, I hadn't realized Candice's late husband, Louis Malle, had filmed Au revoir, les enfants. As an adolescent that was one of my favorite French-language films. I saw it when it ran on the Bravo network before they became the de facto gay network on basic cable.

Lost? Let The Moon Be Your Guide!

So I was out talking to the neighbor and a small guy came down the street. He was trying to walk home. But he was going the wrong way. His English seemed pretty good but his comprehension turned out to be a little less than that. He misunderstood and continued north instead of turning and following the cross street. The neighbor caught his attention and he came back to the corner where we'd gone. We then explained he'd gone passed the street he needed to take: the street we were standing at. Between us we got it across. I think. I hope so. Anyway, we sent him in the right direction on the right street. If he'd continued on he'd have been lost for who knows how long. He knows a couple of the major streets in the community which is what he'd initially asked us about. Neither was particularly near nor easy to communicate to him how to get there.

Now that I'm back in here writing the fog is lifting a bit and my 15-year rusty Spanish is coming back a bit. Could I remember it a half hour ago? Not really. I'll blame the meds I took before going outside and not having eaten a lot today. :P Just an excuse? Well consider for example when I was going out to fetch water at the store for the kitty, I couldn't find my watch having just seen it on my desk before standing up. Well, the watch was on my wrist! And I'd also forgotten my keys the first time out, as well as not closing the side garage door. At that point I hadn't eaten at all. I'm doing better now. Honest. I could probably even think of my name if pressed! :D

I'm interested in how my neighbor adjusted his middle-America English to match the sounds pattern a Spanish speaker using English might use. Must have been something he picked up on the border patrol. Four years I learned Spanish and my neighbor had been a border patrol officer years ago and between us we might have come up with just enough Spanish to get arrested. ;)

Will there be duckies online tonight? I have no idea. No emails from brother, nor a call. I'm not sure that bodes well. I'm paranoid. At least that's what father used to say of me.

Help Improve My Mood!

I want to vomit. I haven't eat though. Ugh. Kitty went over the wall a second time last night. Don't know why. She came back upon demand. Neighbor wasn't outside last night.

I changed the shower head for grandma neighbor but the kit was for lots more things! She needs a new screw for the handle. The kit had a new regulator that goes in the wall where the pipes attach and I just wasn't going to do that. I got different screws from the garage but that didn't seem to solve the problem. Need different size.

Brother said there was call about his loan and concern the house isn't listed yet. There was lawyer message too I guess. We talked a bit on phone last night, he emailed lawyer. Lawyer emailed back. She says I have "quirks" and she things estate is "spiraling out of control" and other things. She admits estate debts are being paid though. I'm not pleased with lawyer. She is throwing more bombs in to cause distress and aggravation. I hate that kind of behavior from a supposed professional. In her email, where brother said he would pay off the money he borrowed against estate (I said I would pay for him), she said she didn't even know what company had called her! This is just sad.

I was going to go to get food but had forgotten keys and say I had forgotten to close side garage door and then, like an idiot, checked email. Now the lawyer email has me all upset and in knots. I'm not going out again I think. I will have food and try to think happy thoughts.

OMG Kitty Goes Over The Wall!

She ran away. :/ I came in to check on food and went back out and she was not to be found. I thought maybe she had come back in but there was no kitty inside.

I got flashlight and began checking outside the walls. I went to neighbors yard and there was kitty! She was hiding in the bushes.

She walked sheepishly behind the bushes back towards the wall and meowed. She went over the wall back to our yard. I told her to stay there and I came back around. She gnawed more grasses and then jumped back on to patio and went into the house. That was evil and distressing. :(

Grandma neighbor had borrowed vacuum this afternoon. But not really. Grandchild came to borrow for her and she didn't know! She needed one because while she was out one of the grand-demons broke her end table glass top! She carried vacuum back over! Then chatted a bit, asked me to come over tomorrow to put in new shower head. I guess kitchen sink is still a problem. I wish I had more good insights on it.

I still haven't gotten groceries. I have one bottle of water. I will give that to kitty. I can torment myself with gross tap water I guess. Or maybe I'll order delivery. Airshow is coming up in two weekends. I have asked Brother is he wants to take the kiddies. I am still shaked up about kitty's misbehavior. For months she has been very good at staying inside the walls. Now I have to watch her! That is stressful. *sigh*

I had food. Frozen chicken nuggets and fries.

I picked the tuna on saltines with butter for 'last meal' because I used to sit at kitchen counter as a kiddie and would have tuna that way with grandmother. It was a very neat assembly line. Mother always thought it was gross until I got her to try it one time. She was surprised that it was good! Reminded her of fresh caught sea basses. Sea bass was Mother's favorite from childhood. Her dad would catch them for her. One thing we'd planned was to do a sea fishing trip with RL, A, Brother and the SIL. Brother hates fishing but thought that would be fun. That is now another dead trip. Like Italy trip. And Phoenix trip. And trip back to Vegas. And... other things. *ugh*

I hate idea of doing travel alone because then I have no one to come back and share trip with? Kitty won't care unless I bring treats if she is even still talking to me if I leave her behind? Oh well.

It's Monday. Why? Oh Why?

It's 4am Monday and for some reason I'm not more thrilled by that. Maybe I should be. I watched a subtitled German film this evening called "Sommersturm." I thought it was cute and uplifting. It isn't bad; there wasn't anything in particular I thought needed to be cut or places where I wished I was cleaning my fingernails instead. The subtitles might have been a tiny bit better quality but it's a gay-themed film which means it probably had no meaningful budget for its English subtitles. Trailer here.

Trolling through IMDB, I saw a comment that a gay cable network had cut another film called "Twist" when it was broadcast. It's a modernized take on "Oliver Twist" with Nick Stahl as a hustler. He did it the same year as "T3: Rise of the Machines." It's cable! For homosexuals! What on early is the point of cutting material from a film there? It just sounds silly to me but I haven't seen "Twist" and don't know what runs on that network.

What else is new? Not too much. I'll probably turn in shortly. I'm starting to get another headache. They're becoming more routine, obnoxiously so. I've been meaning to blog about other "important" things but the right frame of mind just hasn't hit me to go about it. There's only so much seriousness and soul-searching one can do without wanting to just run naked headlong into rush hour traffic. I'm sure you understand.

Saturday Stuff

I got a few things worked on Saturday. I did a bit of sanding after hanging plastic but quit to preserve my lungs. I need to dig out a mask and maybe reconfigure the plastic. I put up some more joint compound above the French Doors. I rotates my matress and put new linens on. The cat didn't seem impressed though. I thought she'd love a fresh blanket to shed upon. Guess it's getting harder to impress her.

What else? I watered. I looked in to see if neighbor had returned early in the afternoon. He had an apt. to get new car tires at 10am but I hadn't heard any activity over there and couldn't see if his door was open. I just wanted to make sure his wife wasn't still alone. He was back though, and as he'd guessed his grandson was over again this weekend. That boy is impossibly thin; I just have to shake my head in disbelief. I might be that thin one day as an emaciated corpse!

What else? The spider is still hanging out. I pulled more weeds. I didn't do grocery nor did I order a delivery. I turned in a bit early, maybe between 8-9pm? It's 3am now. Will probably lie down again. Oh, I shipped off RL's (late) birthday gift. I decided since it's a whole new month there's no point in any further delay and who knows when (or if) there will be a birthday gathering for him. It was cheaper to send it "first class" than priority or express even though I ended up wasting five stamps. I could've probably gone cheaper claiming 'media mail' or something (which it was) but who cares, it's sent! That reminds me, I think the mail carrier said he's off this week. Not sure I'd notice. Saturday all I got was a political ad! It's kind of sad in a pathetic sense, really. Friday I did get a postcard (really!) from Vegas. He'd been off visiting his bf's parents out of state.

I'm a bit concerned about a couple recent dreams due to their health-focus (not my health, though). My latest dream was amusing in a sense. There was a lot of change to count in order to head off a take over. It also seemed to tie in with the old drama series Hart to Hart.

Well I'm bored with this entry and there are no duckies in sight so I guess it's back to bed.