RIP, Last Firefighter Dies From Esperanza Arson

23-year-old Pablo Cerda has passed away. He served for 2 yrs and had suffered lung damage and 3rd degree burns on over 90% of his body.  His death is the fifth among the five fightfighters caught up in the recent arson blaze in Southern CA. The fire is now contained.  If caught, the arsonist will face five counts of murder.

The other firefighters were Capt. Mark Loutzenhiser, 44, Jess McLean, 27, Jason McKay, 27, and Daniel Hoover-Najera, 20.

iTunes Updated

Apple has released 7.0.2 for both Macs and Windows. iTunes Download Page.

It Is Duckie's Birthday!

Happy Birthday to the Duckie.

It is also Halloween.  Still not sure if I'll give out candy.  I am still awake from yesterday. It is almost 11:30 am.  I put out bins this morning, changed litter box late last evening, talked to neighbor and grandma neighbor.  

I got rid of some scrap wood and unneeded things in garage.  I also got ride of some of the concrete Father never used that turned into giant blocks because of rain.  There are still some, though.  Will try again next week!  

What else? Oh, I patched driveway cracks and even sidewalk crack that I ignored years ago when I fixed driveway before. 

Mother said ignore because it is city's problem. City is lazy and cheap and corrupt so I patched it anyway.  I went to neighbor's side of the wall and fixed a gap.  He will probably not notice.  

I also am painting the street-level numbers on the curb again.  

Kitty is confused about my schedule. So am I!  Got another call asking me to volunteer from campaign.  Not sure I want to do that.  It hasn't been my thing.  I've made and put out signs in the past although I probably won't this year. 

I want to nap but naps are evil.  I should burn these shoes. They smell bad. 

Surprises in Microsoft's Vista License

A must read over at the Register for folks who might want to upgrade to Windows Vista or use virtualization software like Parallels or VMWare.

Is A Moron?

Brother finally emailed to say RL and A are not doing Halloween here this year.  He claims I will get pix but I haven't see air show pix yet either.

SIL is taking kids to school event instead.  I just realized he didn't say *they* were taking, just SIL. Maybe he is working?  Could be!  I am disappointed because I made special grocery walk to get candy.  I called first and had to leave a message!  Grrr.

Now I have candy that I won't be giving out?  Annoying. :/  Grandma neighbor said she tosses out most candy because the grandevils don't need all that sugar so I can give it to them!  Maybe I will keep and pig out when I am depressed!

Whitney is looking better? She recently appeared with Clive Davis at an event, looking healthy for a change (right-hand photo):

Sunday Circuses.

Clocks changed here. There are a few I haven't changed somewhere.  They are laying about teasing me; I can tell!

Before breakfast I was outside.  I fixed lock on grandma neighbor's door. 

Her house has door from garage into house at laundry room.  That lock was not working.  Landry room door has no lock from dining.

There is no lock or motor, not even a slide bold on big outside garage door so anyone could just lift it and walk through right into house!  

The grandevils had left the doors all wide open this morning.  Surprised to see all the open doors and hearing no sounds, I was curious! When she suddenly came out front door, I asked if she knew the others were open. She did not.

She then told me it doesn't lock!  Very scary!  I only had to unscrew lock and put back on.  It is cheap lock so it just got loose with age.  The door isn't even what should be there.  They put a hollow-core interior door there which is bad for insulation and worse for security.  Originally there was a "utility door" but that is long gone.

She said her dryer isn't working much anymore either.  I am not going to try to fix tho.  It could just be the belt but dat is like opening can of worms!  I don't like worms?  They are not good eats. :D

She is not living behind concrete and steel like me and kitty--although kitty went over the wall again last night while I chatted with neighbor! :/ 

Bunker feel is one reason I like being here? It helps soothe the paranoia Father said I have. Am I really paranoid if they really *are* out to get me? :D

Brother emailed?  I had sent drawing from internet.  His email said he and RL liked.  No other msg content. :/  *sigh*

Sleep was meh-ish.  I feel pretty good but am unsure what do to with today?  It is still early enough there might be guests?  Guests never call. They are evil that way.  I should hide in bed with kitty and pretend the world outside does not exist!

Blah

It is Saturday. I woke off and on through the night.  I went to sleep around 3am in case Brother would show.  

There was door bell ringing around 9am.  I ignored.  Kitty looked at me and decided to ignore too.  Later I asked neighbor about it, he said it was carpet cleaner salesman. 

I decided to get up in case Brother came but as hours ran on, I knew he wasn't going to.  I started to get self-annoyed because I could have slept!  

I watered lawn with sprinkler to get soaking.  Did same for flower boxes at street.  

They are not thriving except in one small part!  I switched to easy growing candy apple ice plant because the flower seed did not grown.  Now ice plant is not working well either! That was $35 wasted plus water use. :/  

It isn't as if the ground should be bad because I did fertilize and water and turn!  Crazy.  I would tell Brother to take out about 1 ft deep and buy top soil.  It has annoyed because other plants and grasses are ok but most visible stuff is not! 

Am falling into sullen mood, pining for death (like duckie!). I have barely eaten so I will do food in a moment, it will help mood.  

Neighbor's grandson was at friend's house last evening and was dropped off while I was watering.  It is good that he still visits. Maybe I will listen to lame pre-recording radio show. Bah.

Freaked Out Friday

It is Friday. Supposedly it is 85F (~30C). I did watering of grass and plants, spoke to neighbor who was doing the same. Brother's flight seems a bit delayed to San Diego but he should be in Arizona. That is good, there are thunder storms in GA according to Accuweather lies.

I have been putting joint compound on wall in a kind of Ventian plaster look. I gave up on trying to match new with old looks. This is easier. I have not eaten. I was wanting to shake myself senseless wondering WTF I am doing in moving from house so SIL, et al. can infest it? Yes, I'll have money from it and can move and do whatever but this has been my permanent residence long time! Leaving after 30 years when so much will be destroyed to appease the unappeasable SIL (she is like terrorists and dictators that way :D ) just to find a new place for my lonely, isolated self and kitty is cazy. It isn't like when Mother and I were going to move because we had picked places together, we would have each other and kitty and kitty's fish for company. Here, I have neighbors and it is convenient location too!

Why should SIL get excellent break on property tax? It is not what Mother would want. Just to mention, Mother would have taken tax rate with her to new place within the state. Brother could say, "Meh! You got insurance," but that was not for me to decide. Mother was not going to leave him anything which is not something I have said or will say any time soon. It isn't something I can explain? Mother did think she owed me for 10 years of caregiving and companionship. I told him before I had asked her for the house but obviously that didn't work out (although that was her plan whether we lived here or had moved). I can already feel the regret of encouraging Brother to buy house. I am depricating my own desires for greater good. I have often been own worst enemy. Just look at money I have "spent" on Brother that Duckie, the Kiwi and Muz think I'm crazy for doing? Sure I get that back but...

I wonder if I would prefer a third party get house than either of us. That would be most fair! :(

Mostly I want RL and A to have good home. But SIL will hate? She is chronic complainer and I would be very angry / hurt if she makes nasty comments about house! She already said my replacement of lemon tree with rocks and bark and bushes looked like 'pet semetary'. That was very mean.

Kitty is on my bed enjoying warmth of day. She has gotten petting and last evening she slept on the house side of me (instead of window side or at feet). She was probably chilled. :/

I want to go out for a bit to get cereal and a couple of things.

It is almost midnight now. I did get cereal and antibacterial soap and kitty food. I got soy milk. It is not great? Fortunately it is only a quarter (about 1 liter). There was near-ish fire so there was smoke in the air on walk back. Very annoying to breathe. I should have gotten things to drink. Maybe soon. I mowed lawn again which attracted attention. Grandmaneighbor borrowed vacuum. I finished putting up joint compound so now entire wall is that way. I gave up trying to match old with new and so we will see how much Brother hates if he comes over. In theory he got back but I don't have confirmation he was actually on his flights.

What else? Kitty and I went out a bit tonight, I watered lawn for third time today. It has been warm and dry. I was going to eat dinner when grandmaneighbor returned vacuum. I used it a bit later to get dust from French Door windowpanes and dining window screen. I watched Veronica Mars tonight. Episode was OK but something was missing with it. Not sure what. Duckie is online. Kitty did not get tuna today, she was not in mood.

Big Dude

That's Manny Yarbrough, a sumo wrestler. He's about 6'8" (204cm) and around 708lbs (321kg).

Weird Wednesday

It was a very weird day. I didn't get up until late. I just didn't feel good each time I woke up which seemed all too often.

I have no milk so my Cheerios were dry. I've had tamales again tonight. Kitty is meowing off in the distance. She demanded we go outside, even coming into the bathroom to plead her case! She walked the path around the front lawn eventually deciding to sit quietly. It seemed too chilly but she wasn't in any rush to come inside. I had go out in bare feet so the concrete was starting to ice up my toes. Grandmaneighbor popped outside so I hid back up on the patio. Kitty had hid too! She got lower and tried hiding behind the taller grass. Hillarious! Grandmaneighbor didn't see us and went back inside after moving her trash bin away from the front door.

It is raining in Georgia (where Brother is) according to Accuweather which means it could really be 39C (~100F) in the shade.

Radio was not so good tonight. Getting tired of election topics. Listened to Mix down in Sydney a bit, now it's 11pm and I have them on again awhile. I can't believe there's no Amazon.com for Australia. What kind of country is that?

What else? Mail was early for some reason. I got mostly junk other than notice to Mother than mortgage is autopay again. I was avoiding email until now. Only thing of note was cable bill being ready. Thrilling! She "wants a man with a slow hand" in the Mix song playing.

I had odd dreams. More grocery shopping. And Mother. And house remodel talk. This is great stuff! :/

Made to Suffer

Brain is in self-loathing mode. I could sneak a snack, perhaps yogurt. I'm just very annoyed. I was in a good mood having watched a cute little film called "CAMP" when I made the mistake of asking in an IM, "How goes the battle," an idiom asking how's life / what's up? Well, I got some comment about "casualties" and "ragheads" and that ticked me off.

The duckie just has come online so I will post this and poke at him awhile.

Ugh

I ate too much! Now I feel bloated. I had an entire packet of crackers with my soup tonight.  I told kitty to bite my leg if I do that again. :(

I feel like there is something laying on my chest.  Very annoying.  There is some fog tonight. I went outside with kitty.  Didn't water. There was another lemon tree shoot so I think that makes four that have been removed.

I might watch a film, not sure. Have been thinking about what items I want to keep from the house. Need to decide what items I can depart with and not have silly regrets. :/

Today was 46 months since Father passed.  I feel too bloated to sleep now but might sleep early and not wait for dawn.  I'd like to do a few things before it gets too hot tomorrow.

Lame Day

I went to bed probably at 8am or so. Sleep was not great but passable. It warmed up a bit more than I expected today.  I did a bit of watering and weeding.  

Talked to neighbor.  He was going to invite me over tonight if things went well but he hadn't gotten his wife up yet and yesterday she'd not been up more than 2 hrs.

Brother didn't get to hotel until 1am!  He is on other side of the country for work.  Boss made them miss their connecting flight.

Radio has been lame today. Tedious even.  I spent time viewing some very nice images from the Hubble Space Telescope.

I have been piggy today. I can't seem to type... ugh. I had chocolate and cereal.  I'm not sure what I'll have now but I think I need something.

Political ads have been tormenting.

Oh, Bloody Hell!

An article on Yahoo (from USA Today) says, "Even Oprah Winfrey - maybe the most revered of all Americans..."

If that's even in the same universe with truth, we're doomed.

RIP Jane Wyatt

Actress Jane Wyatt has passed away at 96. She's most memorable to me as Mr. Spock's mom, Amanda, on Star Trek. She was also the wife in "Father Knows Best," a tv series from 1954-1960, for which she won three best actress Emmy Awards.

Ugh

Slept grumpily.  Ignored food until close to 6pm.  We to an open house.  It was a nice place.  Too expensive, I've concluded.  Tried calling Brother but no answer.  No email.

I don't think there was a BBQ at grandmaneighbor's yesterday.  I spent hours working on the worksheet of payouts I've made for the estate. Make my head spin.  I refuse to believe it--crazy expensive?  

What else? Oh, a statement came that contradicts the balance given to me Friday on that account which seemed to have been significantly lower than expected.  I have to call Monday and double-check.

Part of me is leaning towards renting or storing my things and bumming around awhile trying to figure out WTF do to with myself. Ugh.  Maybe I will just try being homeless or a nomad or duckie's poolboy (Duckie: get a pool!).

That house is about a third smaller than this one. Two bedrooms, two bath. There's quite a lot to like about it except the price.  Brother would actually work out better with this house because it's bigger and the property tax rate would be very low (perhaps a 1/6th) while I'd be paying perhaps as much as $4500 (or more) per year.  That tells me it is not a good deal for me. I did, however, get a sense of what I'd like to see in a house for myself and kitty.

I have a slight headache. It's about 10pm. I'm listening to iTunes.

More Outings

One of the cast of Grey's Anatomy (Duckie watches!) has revealed he's gay and hopes that isn't the most interesting thing about him. I don't watch so here's an accompanying photo of T.R. Knight for us non-watchers:

---

R.J. Helton, of the first American Idol season, has outed himself in a satellite radio interview.  He had a Christian music album, "Real Life," in 2004 which sold over 20,000 copies. It isn't on iTunes for some reason.

It's a Dry Heat

It's warm today.  I made calls and got the "pay off" numbers for estate accounts.  I'm confused about one.  It seems thousands less than expected.  Weird, really.  I'm pretty sure I hadn't paid that much.

Got a pseudo-invite to the BBQ at grandmaneighbors but I'm not so social and want to get the numbers finished tonight. It'll take awhile.  

OK, that was hours ago. It's now after 6pm. Just read a story that makes my blood boil. Some time back a woman shot herself to kill the baby she was to give birth to that day. The child died. All charges have been dropped including filing a false police report and the gun charge. That's just... beyond the pale.

Kitty is demanding attention. It's hairball gel time. I chatted with neighbor about the house and moving and Brother/SIL. I think I am better off just taking the money and running. At least that's where my head is at tonight.

I need to gather all my receipts and things and see what I spent on the estate so I can include that in what Brother would need to buy me out.  Might have more cereal.

Friday Off To Bad Start?

It is 3:30am, Friday.  I think we're off to a bad start.  I'm unfathomably anxious, mind ill at ease, slight headache.  I just had some ravioli.  I think I should hide in bed and hope for death by earthquake.  I hate this feeling. :(

Thrilling Thursday

So again I didn't sleep well.  I think the cat is hiring aliens to carry me off and drag me around the countryside because that would explain how exhausted and achy I feel when I wake up. Phone rang which dragged me from bed and into some clothes. It was a recording. It's it usually? The cell phone company was offering something or the other.

I watered the plants and mowed the lawn. Soon after, when I'd just put the sprinkler on, grandmaneighbor came over to borrow a rake for the backyard clean up. She's planning to have a BBQ tomorrow and asked if I had any ideas on cleaning a propane grill.  I knew I had some tools around from Father's grilling days and said I'd come over.  I found them and off I was, sprinkler left on.

Grandmaneighbor and I sat awhile. She's diabetic and she needed a rest and to drink her orange juice, feeling like she had low bloodsugar. She said it was around 60 which is not a good number!  It was a nice chat about her health (more than I needed to know, really) and so on.  A lady pastor at her church passed away unexpectedly, something she related when I mentioned Mother's passing had been unexpected.  

I noticed she had a small basket of medications on the table.  It sounds like she knows what she should be doing.  Her cookies are sugar free, she has a doctor, she walks a lot for her health... they tell her she shouldn't be yelling so much though. I told her it all keeps her young. 

Later I found out the grandkids she has have been in her care all their lives. Some she took right from the hospital, another at a month old.  They all belong to her son.  She didn't say what he's doing or why he's not involved.  Her remark was the mom(s) couldn't care for them.  Reading between the lines, he seems to have gotten one or more women pregnant and his mom stepped up so her grandkids didn't end up in foster care. Sad situation. 

Since she's single, I'm trying to imagine this older woman faced with one, two , three, four kids about a year apart in age from the time of infanthood!  She's crazy.  They're older now, in grade school and middle school so it isn't (or shouldn't be) such a problem.  It is no wonder she seems worn down.  As I told her before, she isn't the first grandparent to be raising grand kids and said our neighbor had after his daughter's divorce.  

Although I didn't get into it, my grandmother made sure we had clothes, toys, books, clean laundry, made beds and cooked dinner for the house of us nearly every night until the year she passed away. She was even the one to put me to bed or reading me to sleep.

Anyway, I was there longer than I expected. I did come back to get the propane meter I'd found in the garage while organizing Father's toolcart a bit the other day.  I just couldn't take all the activity as the kids came in from school and then her older grandsons and later he daughter and so forth.  I needed to escape back to my quiet kitty-guarded bunker and to see if I'd flooded the yard yet with my sprinkler!

Tonight around 5pm I napped, not feeling great after I had a small meal.  I got up around 8pm after an odd dream of a stakeout.  Now that I type it I see a relationship to the VMars episode this week.  Interesting.  Got email from Brother asking if I've worked up the numbers yet for him about the estate and what he'd need to borrow.  I realized tonight I have more work to do because when I did it before I delibrately didn't include money I was paying out since I wouldn't borrow money to pay what I'd already paid!  Thus I've made more work for myself.  A bit irritating, really.  Also, since I was at grandmaneighbor's I didn't get to make a couple calls related to the numbers game.  Lastly, I see I paid one balance off in the same amount that was due when Mother passed which seems improbable.  I want to see what payments I'd made and so forth.  The mortgage has come down just a bit even with making the monthly payments.  I have to tack on Mother's tax bill, the property taxes and insurance too. Lots of things. And all the improvements I've made.  It had to be done at some point, I just didn't realize I'd be doing it right now.  Grrr.  I emailed that I'd do it Friday.  I had only said I would do it this week, not what day.

When I think about moving from this house I feel sad and lonely.  While I won't be any fewer in company, there won't be any "ghosts" and memories to keep my self sane and comforted.  Makes me want to vomit, really.  I won't even know my neighbors.  I may not even know the area.  Very sad. :(  I like the status quo.  I'm not sure what "happened" to my getting  time to see if I wanted to buy before the sale and making a 'last pitch' to the SIL if I didn't (before it went on the market).  Now I'm worried I'm getting the short end.  Yes, I'll have cash but I have little desire for that.  And, yes, I'll have the furniture and things but I won't have the house which is what I'd asked Mother for and would've had if we'd finished estate planning. So I'm sad and concerned I'm doing myself a disservice.  I'm confused and feel completely directionless.  I don't know who to talk to. Brother not only has a conflict of interest but he seems totally disinterested in my delimnas.  Very disappointing.  Mother would say, "Why are you surprised?!"  She would also say, "Go! Live! Enjoy! Run from house! Buy new! Do adventures!"  I try to console myself with the notion that the SIL isn't "winning" here, I'm ensuring my nephews and niece have a real home and my Brother is not throwing away his income on rent while the SIL lies around demanding more children, more things, more house, more, more, more!  I fear this will not go well and they'll battle and the SIL will demand they sell and move and it'll all have been wasted.  Makes me want to, yes, vomit!

That is enough blog for this entry. It is Friday now. No idea if duckie will be online. Probably not. I should call or email Vegas. I do want to scream. I would do close to anything to get Mother's advice. :/

Like right after Mother passed, the house has seemed much too quiet at night when I try to sleep. *sigh*

Word of the Day

Today's word is "kakistocracy" - Government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens.

Tuesday!

It is almost 3:30pm.  Brother called, I returned call. He came over. We went to bank, manager was not in today. Went to cheap store and I bought things. Lots of soup. It is getting to be soup weather. And cereal. I was out of cereal.

What else? Brother says camera he took to air show is missing? Brother is going to Georgia next week to visit a factory for work.  Is last minute thing. Duckie will hate? I loaned Brother money for trip but it is reimbursed by work.

I did not sleep well. Kitty has been quiet although Brother coming over made her hide.  The lawyer said "meeting" if Brother is going to buy house.  Lawyer is lame?

Sunday Outing

Sunday was air show! Lunch I got a Pepsi (it was a small cup) for $3 and the chicken strips-and-fries. It was good but $7! Brother did not have enough money because SIL didn't put as much in his wallet as he thought. I had money though. This was perhaps the most time I've spent around my niece. She's definitely delayed. She's five chonologically but speaks less well than grandmaneighbor's 2 year old granddaughter. Very sad.

Brother said the school has asked them to send her to school with smaller lunch because she eats so slowly. Even a half sandwich takes her an hour! She didn't eat half of her lunch so we took it back to the van. I half-said she could have it for dinner. I guess Brother has made a rule that if she doesn't finish her school lunch she has to finish it for dinner. It is OK idea.

Niece road in stroller two and from parking and part of time for air show. She got to put on helmet and flack vest, crawl on tank and visit different helos and fixed wings. We visited a mobile aircraft control tower like used in Iraq. I was most interested in the Osprey, a new aircraft intended to replace helos for the Marines. It has tilt wings and propellers so it can land and take off like a helo and fly light a prop plane. It's been under development for about 20 years. It's been a difficult vehicle to make work but they 'think' they got the bugs finally ironed out. While the main demonstration event was happening I took a walk and found they had an Osprey on the ground for people to tour. There was no line, so I sat in it for a bit. I was surprised it wasn't painted a flat grey so common for other military aircraft but had a two tone blue-grey metallic flake appearance. It is nice looking? I would buy one? They cost too much though (~$40m).

Monday Malaise

Kitty is in here. I think it's time for her hairball gel. We went out earlier a bit. OK, she came outside but I didn't let her out specifically.  I was taking a walk before dinner and as usually forgot to close the security door.  She was being good and chewing grasses.
I didn't get far before grandmaneighbor came out on the balconey to talk to me although she was on the phone.  She had me look at the hole(!) in her garage ceiling.  The owner's husband had come and said it was not major problem.  The hole is about the size of your average office wall clock.  Water is leaking onto the floor below.  Anyway, grandmaneighbor is going to an apartment complex tomorrow for a tennent interview.  I wonder what will move in if she moves?  Disturbing thought! 

I had food, doorbell rang. It was a grandchild wanting me to buy magazines or cookie dough for school fund raising.  Another had wanted $3 earlier.  I don't have $3?  I would need change.

It's that time... early voting has begun!

Another Messenger Update.

There's another update to MSN Messenger for Mac OS X. Second time this month! No idea what changes.

The download page

Saturday Showers?

There was rain today. Did not do airshow with niece and nephew and Brother.  Went to park and walked around this afternoon when rain stopped. Came back and Brother arrived unexpectedly.

He was stressed and needed to get away from children?  Someone had caused flooding in the kids bathroom, even out to the hall carpet and his steam cleaner stopped working. He came to borrow mine. He said SIL wondered if they could move in before Christmas?  I'm not shocked but that is a bit annoying.  She is waiting for lawyer to call back with how much is needed to borrow.  I gave him figures I put together in July when I was considering.  It was a little less than he thought. I said I would get current figures because I expect the lawyer doesn't know and will guess.

SIL saw picture and said my plants and rock area looks like a pet cemetary. :( *sigh*

Kitty hid while Brother was here.

I had pain in my right calf; it is still sore a bit.  I think kitty stabbed me in the night?  I felt bad earlier and took a Tylenol for aching.  I probably had been up too long, definitely over 24 hrs, and body rebelled.  I had strange dream again. There was shopping!  Will try to remember more. Might have been people from my past in dream?  I'm not feeling great, neck is aching.

Am supposed to do the airshow tomorrow if not raining. 

OMG! Friday 13th!

No one warmed me it would be Friday the 13th! Fun. :P

I have been trying to figure out what caused the stomach pains. I thought it was the milk but I'm not sure. I had salad and cereal with no milk and seemed OK today. I just had cereal with milk and we'll see how that goes.

I changed the litter box and neighbor came out to see what the light was on for. We chatted a bit. There is supposed to be rain Fri. evening, rain Saturday would ruin airshow trip.  That's ok?

It's Only Thursday?

My brain feels like it's sitting on the desk and not in my head. :(

I had a v v weird dream.  Mother was giving me meds?  And she gave too many meds?  But I couldn't figure out which meds to take?  Bottle had info for both kind saying to take only one of the candy-tasting type and more of the others?  I had yelling match with Mother and Brother, maybe Father too in dream about meds? No, wait. Father was napping on the lounge floor?  Mother also had made tiny pancakes with nice crispy edges like I liked and put them in with meds?  In dream I tried to look meds up online but there were no pix?  Tried to look in Mother's pill reference but it had come apart and pieces were missing?  Tried to get help from a pharmacist but they gave me different meds that looked like the cat's food and not like other meds in dream?  Like I said... v v weird dream.

Was v miserable last night.  Guts felt like they were being turned inside out. :/ Ugh.  I wanted to weep.

Phone woke me up this morning. It was POLITICAL call.  Mayor saying I should vote YES on B & C.  I haven't seen B & C yet.  I dragged body from bed and went to see grandmaneighbor but there was no answer. I think doorbell is hard to hear. I could hear TV.  I came back and fooded on pancakes. I did not eat sausages. Pork is unclean. :/  I went back over to see grandmaneighbor and knocked, this time she heard and answered.

A friend of hers hired a plumber to fix things yesterday so my trip to the home improvement last evening was a bit wasted except it meant I did groceries too and so that was good. Sink is fixed doing what I suspected had to be done: a new garbage disposal was put in. Plumber put a scew and gasket on old handle. It's a bit loose which is silly but that's done and it works now. She had a grand daughter there, 2 years old. Very assertive and talkative, not at all like my niece at that age.  Anyway, grandmaneighbor talked my ear off for an hour (more on that later). Now I am home. Tired and going to have salad. Clouds are parting a bit. Could have rain tomorrow. Maybe no airshow for me and the nepheices? :/

Oh, I forgot there was second phone call. I ignored phone because I didn't recognize the number. It was business call and they left message. I returned the call, they were just confirming address to send check to me. 

Kitty is in the window!  Brother of what duckie called "hot neighbor" (guy in military) gave me an odd look as I was leaving grandmaneighbor's. He was a bit scruffy and I think he had a death stick in his left hand. It was too short to be a pen. He is thin and attractive! Why would someone like that take up smoking? Uh oh, stomach is getting violent with me!! PAIN!! :/

Tuesday Blahs...

It is just past midnight. Dat makes it Tuesday.

More ladder demands tonight. 9:30pm! Craziness. Must find out what's going on from grandma neighbor. This is too much. I'm a bit bored and tired right now.

I still have to catch up with House of Carters but I did watch Desperate Housewives. Andrew (Shawn Pyfrom) was back. Really he didn't have much to do and they didn't really "sell" his having been on the streets for seven months. There was a funny line where Gabby has been stuffed in a suitcase and left in an elevator. She climbs out to the surprise of a couple who'd gotten on the life and says, "Don't laugh, saved a bundle on airfare," as she gets off at the floor.

I could watch a film maybe? Or sleep. Sleep would get me in trouble with duckie because I said I'd be online. *sigh*

I slept. I guess duckie didn't come online. I woke up before 7am, hid for awhile. By 8am I took Father's air compressor to the neighbor so he could inflate his tires more. Then I came back to hide. I was very sore and tired. Mother and I had grocery shopping in dream. She was asking if I had a certain kind of salad dressing. I said you know I don't, since I shop only for basics. There was nice salad package in dream with dressing and romaine. Not the first groceries with Mother dream (she passed away about 7 months ago).

I fooded but feel hungry. I was outside and chatted with two neighbors a bit. Seems grandpests are bugging many and even let another neighbor's dog out. I will add this to grandma neighbor talking points. She asked me to tell her if they start to bug the neighbors.

I wish I didn't feel so tired. I feel like I was left out in the sun all day to dry out! I am not doing bank today but might do small shopping tonight if neighbor doesn't invite me over.

It's Monday!

Monday is here. It is "Columbus Day" which is barely a public holiday. In sad news, the bee I tried to save from a tangled web yesterday has passed on. :/

The bee of unknown age has been buried in the flower box after a brief viewing.

I didn't sleep worth anything last night, too much tossing and turning. It's fairly cloudy today. I am having chili for 'breakfast'.

"No birthday songs to sing again..."

I back at a state where the thought of checking email makes me cringe. I hate that. Kitty is up and about today. She was sunning herself in the window a little while ago.

I've been trying to do blogging from a widget but it's ability to post is flaky and worse, entries must be short or text starts falling below the screen. Maybe I will seek out another widget.

It is after 5pm. I watered lawn with sprinkler. Talked to neighbor while he was watering. I feel very, very tired. It's annoying. And I think there is headache brewing! Make it go away? No mail today because of holiday.

Not sure what food I'll do next.

Foggy In The Brain...

I had weird sleep. Very very weird.  There was class picture time in dream?  Too crowded.  I did wait with blanket wrapped around me like a mummy tho.  I guess it was a uni dream?

I tried to save a bee but think I failed. :(  It was caught in an abandoned web in flowerbox. I freed it but now it is just laying there?  Maybe it is resting!  It was very tangled!  I had to free pairs of legs and one wing.  Pray for the bee!  Other bees did not come to its aide!  They are heartless. :(  I heard excessive buzzing so I investigated.

I think guest spider has relocated to side of the house!  If it isn't guest, I will smack it with the broom.  It can go haunt neighbor!

Hugh news! Nude Hugh? Brother emailed that SIL wants them to buy this house? I am on the floor in shock? That is good, tho. Good for the kiddies.

Brain is foggy. Feeling very tired. Meds were a bit off and sleep as disruptive. Took me hours to doze off. Was sleepy until I got into bed! Then suddenly awake again. Ugh. :(

Fed fish. Kitty is in her bedroom chair. Watered grasses which are trying to turn brown on me! Evil? :/  Might be going dormant for winter?

Having cereal. Already had raviolis.  Will need to do fooding again.  Might nap.

There are worms in the gutter. And grapes. People are slobs!  There were more than 10 rubberbands laying around from postal workers! Lazy litterers! 

I'm not sure screw needed for grandma neighbor's shower repair is a standard size? That annoys me. :/

Might blog later. Depends on how I feel.

Meh.

No Brother today. He volunteered for overtime instead. Another ladder run to grandma neighbors. Didn't get to home improvement. Maybe I'll walk over Sunday if I'm in the mood. I do have a few things to return.

Having a quiet day with the kitty. She's here on the floor behind me. Paid the property tax. Now I'll do some online bill paying for myself and decide what to do with my evening. It's only 7pm! Grrr. Well, I do have another foreign film to watch. Or something. Listened to the gubernatorial debate with one ear while eating. I had "boneless beef" and potatoes and peas/corn/carrots. Back to the debate, Arnold had some good lines. The "conversational" format was total crap. Angelides rambled. Arnold didn't want to interrupt. The moderator guy was beyond useless.

Folks who are ahead in the polls generally only have to avoid mistakes in debates. I think Arnold did that.

I watched the seemingly very long "C.R.A.Z.Y" (French-Canadian film) last evening. It's only 2 hrs but felt long. Length may have been enhanced by reading subtitles. That could be the longest subtitled film I've watched, at least recently. Some of the bits could've been axed to tighten it up to be more Hollywood. It's a good bit of filmmaking overall. Being set in the 70's is a bit of a hoot. I could have done without two or three (or more) scenes of the father singing.

No Media Bias?

Saturday there's a debate between CA Governor Arnold Schwartzenegger (Republican) and challenger Phil Angelides (Democrat). The moderator, Stan Statham, according to the L.A. Times is "a former Republican assemblyman."

Holy crap! That's a benefit to Arnold!

Or is it? He "said he changed his registration" to Independent/Decline-to-state twelve years ago. Notice they write he "said" that, not that they checked or that it was a fact.

Public records of campaign donations he made (found at OpenSecrets.org and FollowtheMoney.org) show Jack O'Connell (Democrat), Gina Papan (Democrat) and Xavier Becerra (Democrat). I didn't find any Republican donations for him.

If you don't know that public information about the moderator you'd assume from the language used by the L.A. Times that Arnold might have a partisan advantage with this moderator. This should be fundamental journalism. Instead, bloggers have to check up on this to see if there's something the Free Press isn't telling. Who will see or hear what most of the bloggers do compared to the numbers of articles sourced from a major newspaper like the L.A. Times or newswire like the AP and Reuters and repeated in local papers, news broadcasts and news breaks?

The embattled L.A. Times seems to hate Arnold. They did the infamous groping story just before the recall election that brought him to power. Just last month they used information given to them by the Angelides campaign to try to embarrass Arnold for calling a Latina (Republican) legislator "hot-blooded" in a private meeting. Reacting, she claimed to call herself that too.

The obtaining of that recording is being investigated for criminal activity since it was on a password-protected server location. The L.A. Times did not admit it was sourced from the challenger's campaign until they had been caught.

Quotes above from this L.A. Times article.

Quiet Friday

I stayed up until mid-morning, then took a nap. Wasn't a great nap. Then I heard grandma neighbor yelling across the street so I knew she was home. I took some screws over and tried again to fix the shower. Didn't do it. I also had a template and calipers and told her tomorrow I'll go to the home improvement to get the right size. I think I'll want a metric sized screw since it's been said the plumbing in these homes was from Italy.

Giving that up, I came back and cooked food. Had some chicken fingers. This evening I had tamales. Maybe I'll do cereal later on. I gave food to kitty but forgot to giver her a fresh bowl. She got water too. I returned the non-usable screws to the neighbor with a note of thanks. This afternoon I've been listening to streaming radio. Hasn't been great, certainly. Mail came but it was all junk.

A grandson came to the door while I was in the kitchen and he asked to "see a ladder." Apparently grandma was out and he needed his football gear from her room. I dragged the ladder across the street and set it up. He went up the ladder and miraculously the balcony door was closed but not locked. I got a thumbs up and took my ladder home. Fun! Oh, I forgot, I met grandma neighbor's 3 yr old great granddaughter when I was working on the shower.

The "MacAddict" magazine is going to change and become "Mac|Life." Boo-hiss. It'll be missed. Bastards.

Martians Have Landed

There was new Veronica Mars. Season has premiered. She has started college. I can't say much because Duckie is obsessed with VMars and would hate spoilers. The diner shown in the credits is right outside the studio gate where they film VMars. I haven't been there. Could be fun.

I mowed lawn, watered kitty's plants and grass. Mail today was some ads, a big envelope and copy of the New Yorker for another street, a notice to Mother her credit protection was changing on a charge card. I called the later and cancelled. They are stupid to still tell her she is alive after they paid on account benefit! Duh! I had tamales and raviolis and dry cereal and a few saltines today. I want something else. There is more raviolis. That would be quick!

I had stayed up until 9am. Took short nap. Feeling a little sleepy now at 4am. Talked to neighbor a bit tonight.

5ive Return.

UK Boyband 5ive/Five has reunited (WorldofFive.com) without member Sean Conlon. He's trying his hand at a solo career. His MySpace page is here with two streaming tracks. His voice is rough. It reminds me of Woodstock singer Joe Cocker (Wikipedia) who some might only know from the opening theme song of "The Wonder Years" TV show. (IMDB.com)

Ugh. Make The Week End!

I had bizarre dream. There were lots of bugs in the dream. There was even a giant ant, about the size of a grown man's hand? It was evil. There were three cobras too? Very odd. It wasn't a nightmare; it was just odd, even silly. It was probably because the spider has abandoned me and kitty for somewhere else. It will be missed. A second giant spider annoyed me because it was on the porch close to the house. I don't see it around today. I smacked it over the wall with a broom last night. If it survived, it's the neighbor's problem. :P

Today I got up and think I had cereal. I checked to see if grandma neighbor was home but there was no answer. Stealing myself for hell, I saw there was some email. One from Brother. Nothing from the lawyer. I made a call; had to leave a voice mail. Got call back though. I then walked to post office. It was crowded! Guy ahead of me was sending a person-sized box to Italy. I bought one stamp and did some express mailing.

I left and didn't even feel tempted by fast food. It was getting warm and was after 3pm. I saw Lexus-driving neighbor on my way back and waved. I think I might've seen his school-age cousin on the walk to the post office. Not sure. If it was, he isn't as tall as I thought. I reordered meds. I have enough through the weekend. I swear I just did a refill. I think kitty is selling them on the street.

I have a headache; I think my eyes ache. Could be my tinted glasses? Or maybe stress. Or not eating much? Or from backpack last night? There was more Brother email. One was funny! I forwarded it to a few people. Kitty had been hiding but is in my room now. I gave her hair ball gel. Today's mail was just a solicitation for donation to "friends of..." Pff.

It's almost 7pm. I have a second bowl of pasta and some diet coke. Might watch something tonight; Duckie will be out since it's Thurs Down Under. I might have a movie I can watch. Kitty didn't seem to be eating much but she did eat twice today and was in the window sunning herself so I guess she was just being weird. Got chilly fast tonight.

I should be able to vote next week if my ballot comes in the mail. Can't wait to get that out of the way. I'll vote to reelect the Governator. I guess it'll be my last election at this address unless I win the lotto. HAHA.

Life Is Hell

There was a collection of comic strips by Simpson's creator back in the 1980's called "Life is Hell" (among other "...is Hell" titles). I wish I had that to read. Something to find sympathy within.

Brother called around half-passed midnight. I was gnawing dry cereal. He bitched about lawyer and email. Then hung up so he could go home after close up shop. Then copy of his email from lawyer came. I was dumb enough to look. Better tonight than the morning, right? Get the pain with now! Early!

I feel like I was dragged behind an old car. Maybe an Oldsmobile. White. Missing some hubcaps.

Rough Patch For 'Murphy Brown'

Candice Bergen, former star of TV's "Murphy Brown" sitcom had a stroke at the end of September. Now it seems her mother has passed away after a long illness. Noticing the list of survivors, and checking IMDB, I hadn't realized Candice's late husband, Louis Malle, had filmed Au revoir, les enfants. As an adolescent that was one of my favorite French-language films. I saw it when it ran on the Bravo network before they became the de facto gay network on basic cable.

Lost? Let The Moon Be Your Guide!

So I was out talking to the neighbor and a small guy came down the street. He was trying to walk home. But he was going the wrong way. His English seemed pretty good but his comprehension turned out to be a little less than that. He misunderstood and continued north instead of turning and following the cross street. The neighbor caught his attention and he came back to the corner where we'd gone. We then explained he'd gone passed the street he needed to take: the street we were standing at. Between us we got it across. I think. I hope so. Anyway, we sent him in the right direction on the right street. If he'd continued on he'd have been lost for who knows how long. He knows a couple of the major streets in the community which is what he'd initially asked us about. Neither was particularly near nor easy to communicate to him how to get there.

Now that I'm back in here writing the fog is lifting a bit and my 15-year rusty Spanish is coming back a bit. Could I remember it a half hour ago? Not really. I'll blame the meds I took before going outside and not having eaten a lot today. :P Just an excuse? Well consider for example when I was going out to fetch water at the store for the kitty, I couldn't find my watch having just seen it on my desk before standing up. Well, the watch was on my wrist! And I'd also forgotten my keys the first time out, as well as not closing the side garage door. At that point I hadn't eaten at all. I'm doing better now. Honest. I could probably even think of my name if pressed! :D

I'm interested in how my neighbor adjusted his middle-America English to match the sounds pattern a Spanish speaker using English might use. Must have been something he picked up on the border patrol. Four years I learned Spanish and my neighbor had been a border patrol officer years ago and between us we might have come up with just enough Spanish to get arrested. ;)

Will there be duckies online tonight? I have no idea. No emails from brother, nor a call. I'm not sure that bodes well. I'm paranoid. At least that's what father used to say of me.

Help Improve My Mood!

I want to vomit. I haven't eat though. Ugh. Kitty went over the wall a second time last night. Don't know why. She came back upon demand. Neighbor wasn't outside last night.

I changed the shower head for grandma neighbor but the kit was for lots more things! She needs a new screw for the handle. The kit had a new regulator that goes in the wall where the pipes attach and I just wasn't going to do that. I got different screws from the garage but that didn't seem to solve the problem. Need different size.

Brother said there was call about his loan and concern the house isn't listed yet. There was lawyer message too I guess. We talked a bit on phone last night, he emailed lawyer. Lawyer emailed back. She says I have "quirks" and she things estate is "spiraling out of control" and other things. She admits estate debts are being paid though. I'm not pleased with lawyer. She is throwing more bombs in to cause distress and aggravation. I hate that kind of behavior from a supposed professional. In her email, where brother said he would pay off the money he borrowed against estate (I said I would pay for him), she said she didn't even know what company had called her! This is just sad.

I was going to go to get food but had forgotten keys and say I had forgotten to close side garage door and then, like an idiot, checked email. Now the lawyer email has me all upset and in knots. I'm not going out again I think. I will have food and try to think happy thoughts.

OMG Kitty Goes Over The Wall!

She ran away. :/ I came in to check on food and went back out and she was not to be found. I thought maybe she had come back in but there was no kitty inside.

I got flashlight and began checking outside the walls. I went to neighbors yard and there was kitty! She was hiding in the bushes.

She walked sheepishly behind the bushes back towards the wall and meowed. She went over the wall back to our yard. I told her to stay there and I came back around. She gnawed more grasses and then jumped back on to patio and went into the house. That was evil and distressing. :(

Grandma neighbor had borrowed vacuum this afternoon. But not really. Grandchild came to borrow for her and she didn't know! She needed one because while she was out one of the grand-demons broke her end table glass top! She carried vacuum back over! Then chatted a bit, asked me to come over tomorrow to put in new shower head. I guess kitchen sink is still a problem. I wish I had more good insights on it.

I still haven't gotten groceries. I have one bottle of water. I will give that to kitty. I can torment myself with gross tap water I guess. Or maybe I'll order delivery. Airshow is coming up in two weekends. I have asked Brother is he wants to take the kiddies. I am still shaked up about kitty's misbehavior. For months she has been very good at staying inside the walls. Now I have to watch her! That is stressful. *sigh*

I had food. Frozen chicken nuggets and fries.

I picked the tuna on saltines with butter for 'last meal' because I used to sit at kitchen counter as a kiddie and would have tuna that way with grandmother. It was a very neat assembly line. Mother always thought it was gross until I got her to try it one time. She was surprised that it was good! Reminded her of fresh caught sea basses. Sea bass was Mother's favorite from childhood. Her dad would catch them for her. One thing we'd planned was to do a sea fishing trip with RL, A, Brother and the SIL. Brother hates fishing but thought that would be fun. That is now another dead trip. Like Italy trip. And Phoenix trip. And trip back to Vegas. And... other things. *ugh*

I hate idea of doing travel alone because then I have no one to come back and share trip with? Kitty won't care unless I bring treats if she is even still talking to me if I leave her behind? Oh well.

It's Monday. Why? Oh Why?

It's 4am Monday and for some reason I'm not more thrilled by that. Maybe I should be. I watched a subtitled German film this evening called "Sommersturm." I thought it was cute and uplifting. It isn't bad; there wasn't anything in particular I thought needed to be cut or places where I wished I was cleaning my fingernails instead. The subtitles might have been a tiny bit better quality but it's a gay-themed film which means it probably had no meaningful budget for its English subtitles. Trailer here.

Trolling through IMDB, I saw a comment that a gay cable network had cut another film called "Twist" when it was broadcast. It's a modernized take on "Oliver Twist" with Nick Stahl as a hustler. He did it the same year as "T3: Rise of the Machines." It's cable! For homosexuals! What on early is the point of cutting material from a film there? It just sounds silly to me but I haven't seen "Twist" and don't know what runs on that network.

What else is new? Not too much. I'll probably turn in shortly. I'm starting to get another headache. They're becoming more routine, obnoxiously so. I've been meaning to blog about other "important" things but the right frame of mind just hasn't hit me to go about it. There's only so much seriousness and soul-searching one can do without wanting to just run naked headlong into rush hour traffic. I'm sure you understand.

Saturday Stuff

I got a few things worked on Saturday. I did a bit of sanding after hanging plastic but quit to preserve my lungs. I need to dig out a mask and maybe reconfigure the plastic. I put up some more joint compound above the French Doors. I rotates my matress and put new linens on. The cat didn't seem impressed though. I thought she'd love a fresh blanket to shed upon. Guess it's getting harder to impress her.

What else? I watered. I looked in to see if neighbor had returned early in the afternoon. He had an apt. to get new car tires at 10am but I hadn't heard any activity over there and couldn't see if his door was open. I just wanted to make sure his wife wasn't still alone. He was back though, and as he'd guessed his grandson was over again this weekend. That boy is impossibly thin; I just have to shake my head in disbelief. I might be that thin one day as an emaciated corpse!

What else? The spider is still hanging out. I pulled more weeds. I didn't do grocery nor did I order a delivery. I turned in a bit early, maybe between 8-9pm? It's 3am now. Will probably lie down again. Oh, I shipped off RL's (late) birthday gift. I decided since it's a whole new month there's no point in any further delay and who knows when (or if) there will be a birthday gathering for him. It was cheaper to send it "first class" than priority or express even though I ended up wasting five stamps. I could've probably gone cheaper claiming 'media mail' or something (which it was) but who cares, it's sent! That reminds me, I think the mail carrier said he's off this week. Not sure I'd notice. Saturday all I got was a political ad! It's kind of sad in a pathetic sense, really. Friday I did get a postcard (really!) from Vegas. He'd been off visiting his bf's parents out of state.

I'm a bit concerned about a couple recent dreams due to their health-focus (not my health, though). My latest dream was amusing in a sense. There was a lot of change to count in order to head off a take over. It also seemed to tie in with the old drama series Hart to Hart.

Well I'm bored with this entry and there are no duckies in sight so I guess it's back to bed.